Did it hurt when you lost your virginity?

[QuimReaper]

I found my first 2-3 sexual experiences absolute agony, and from the very few conversations I've ever had with friends on the topic in the subsequent 11-odd years, thought this was completely normal.

However, in a recent discussion with another friend she was bemused by this and said she experienced little or no pain. I was intrigued so took to the internet, and it seems (from such reputable sources as redit ) that this isn't uncommon. However, a lot of the other hits were clearly aimed at teenage girls and didn't want to scare the bejeezus out of them, so were much more coy.

I'd be interested in a straw poll of actual women. Did it hurt like hell at first, or was it just me?

No didn't hurt at all, but, I rode horses for years and used tampons for a couple of years as well...both of which are supposed to make a difference.

Yes. It hurt and bled a fuck ton. But the guy I was with was fairly horrible so it's not surprising.

tabylah so did I! I meant to add to my OP that I had ridden horses regularly since the age of 8 and used tampons since the age of 13, and didn't bleed at all on any of my "virginity-losing" experiences, so don't think it was hymen-related.

No didn't hurt, was with a nice bloke and I was on top so in control of it, bled very slightly

Yes my first few times hurt despite dp being very attentive.

Yes - it hurt a lot and guy was v gentle. I bled a bit. Also owned own pony and rode v frequently.

Yep it hurt a lot and I bled much more than I was expecting. The chap I was with was a considerate and gentle sort so it wasn't that. It hurt almost as much the next time we did it too.

yes, the very first time was agony and i thought there was something wrong with me. After that i was fine though but when i had to have a coil fitted i experienced the same type of pain. I think its because i was afraid and so my muscles were tightened?

PS i wasnt afraid because i didnt want to do it or he wasnt a nice guy (he was very gentle and lovely) i was just afraid because id never done it before

No, just a bit uncomfortable. I just felt a bit stretched! No bleeding.
Not a horse rider, but I did use tampons.

Didn't hurt.

I wonder what the reason is for the variance?

I felt like I was being ripped in half. I kicked the first guy off me and said I'd changed my mind (he was going reeeeeally slowly and gently too) and then didn't try again for a few months and kicked that guy off too. I tried again with him a couple of weeks later when supremely pissed and discovered that after the first couple of minutes the pain decreased dramatically.

I wonder whether if I'd just persisted the first time, I'd have remembered it as "not that bad". I know that after I bailed I was terrified of going back in, which can't have helped.

Yes it hurt and bled

It was uncomfortable but not painful and no blood. Think if your partner goes too slow it hurts more but obviously very rough would be agony so somewhere in between!
I wasn't a horse rider and couldn't use tampons as they were painful!

Didn't hurt a bit ... even got a bit bored and started jiggling around and moving more than i thought i would. Was already masturbating and using tampons.

pink you found tampons painful but not sex?!

Not my fanjo just my hips from not being used to being so far apart for so long.
Ahhhh those days condoms and thrush
I wish I still shagged that often now. I'm Lucky if it's annually (not analy) (walks off head slung low)

I was a horse riding tampon user and it did hurt. Not an awful amount, but enough for me to hope it would be over quickly 😬 Second time was much better 😉

Fucking agony - but I was 15 and he raped me so that might have had something to do with it.

I had never used tampons (and in fact I can't now)

Yes it hurt quite a bit but it stopped hurting fairly soon.

Unfortunately it kind of set up an expectation in me that I should be all 'two thumbs up' about sex provided it didn't actually hurt.

Nature is a misogynist.

A bit, not agony, though. Interestingly, at the time I was a horse rider but not a tampon user

It hurt and I had this internal ache for a day or so afterwards, even though the actual process was quite quick. I remember crying when he'd gone home.

Erm how can I put this politely...
I was ready for sex?!

Like a bitch. Took my boyfriend and I a month to successfully have sex, with a hell of a lot of lube and some numbing cream from a doctor I cried to. After the first few times it never hurt again. Bizarre!