why do good men look at porn?i dont understand male physche.......

[freya555]

I posted y- day re fact that my Ds looked at porn after we had our child- I got some really supportive advice and we are going to councelling which is important- i do understand that he did it becos he was feeling lonely.However what I dont understand is WHY men do it - i dont think i understand men ! .One person said that it was prob no big deal to him but to me its offensive and makes me feel now that im like an objject when we have sex - and that if a guy doesnt get sex with a real woman then turning to just a picture makes me feel like i just serve a function - does that make sense.?ie if he doesnt have the real thing hey ho an imae will do and it makes me feel yakkkk! he doesnt do it now but its imbedded in a bit which is why we are going for councelling but in meantime any advice re male mind set as i just feel rather niave!!

I agree with SGB. Define porn. Cosmo nudes = titilation, eye brow raise, giggle with mates.

'Loaded' nudes = men wanking becuase we are built differently.

so is it ok for women to look at nudes? as the presumption is we don't wank over them

morrisZapp I don't disagree that there are issues about how women are prtrayed, but there is some really good porn that is made by women, for women

This is surprisingly one-sided. I think the OP is being unfairly caricatured as naive/uptight. And some posters are being a bit competitively complacent. Pornography is not just a bit of fun

www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2008/04/porn_and_abuse

porn is degrading women...you will never stop most men liking it though.

dittany, out of interest, how do you define the women who happily film themselves having sex with their partner or even in groups ?

then willingly post it on YouPorn, XTube and the like

they certainly look like they are having a bloody good time to me

I am not one of them by the way , I just see this as something different than coercion

Actually, you don't need to answer that. I expect you will say they have been brainwashed by years of misogyny to think its OK. However, I don't believe that is true. Some women, and men, are exhibitionists and get turned on by the fact that others will gain gratification from their pleasure.

Chuckle, thanks

I'm with you shiney

shineon....you should be pure of thought...you are our healthy eating/living leader....you should not be "tossing off"

"
I think I've made this argument before here but if exhibitionism was a deep-seated facet of many women's sexuality, we'd see them masturbating in their front rooms or baring their breasts on the High Street and funnily enough that just doesn't happen"

but men don't tend to masturbate in their front rooms in full view of the world outiide or bare their penis's on the high street...

i am not sure what that bit of your post means

i also don't buy into the 'any women who likes/watches/reads/defends porn is in denial'

you can;t apply blanket statements to any topic, least of all porn

human sexuality is far too complex for it to be reduced to 'porn bad' and by default so is anyone who watches/reads/makes/participates/defends it

"A lot of women are in denial about this."

pmsl@Dittany - great response to someone who disagrees with you - i thall remember that!

how about

the use of porn is perfectly normal, many women are in denial about this

Dittany, people who display themselves having sex do it in an appropriate format. You don't have to watch it if it isn't your thing

They are no less able to control their "urges" than you and I

< sniggers at thought of lots of kinky people shagging each other whilst waiting in the Post Office queue >

dittany , did you used to be called elizabetth or similar?

i've never been comfortable with porn...i think alot of women are forced into it either through drug addition or other sad situations....i'm not talking about the silly stuff on youtube...i'm talking about some of the stuff you've probably seen shineon...i think i would be physically sick watching it.