why do good men look at porn?i dont understand male physche.......

[freya555]

I posted y- day re fact that my Ds looked at porn after we had our child- I got some really supportive advice and we are going to councelling which is important- i do understand that he did it becos he was feeling lonely.However what I dont understand is WHY men do it - i dont think i understand men ! .One person said that it was prob no big deal to him but to me its offensive and makes me feel now that im like an objject when we have sex - and that if a guy doesnt get sex with a real woman then turning to just a picture makes me feel like i just serve a function - does that make sense.?ie if he doesnt have the real thing hey ho an imae will do and it makes me feel yakkkk! he doesnt do it now but its imbedded in a bit which is why we are going for councelling but in meantime any advice re male mind set as i just feel rather niave!!

Hi - this is an odd thread for my first post in years here but hey!!

I love watching porn, and most of what I watch is amateur stuff, all between consenting adults. I have pictures of me on the internet, in explicit poses, and tbh I get a kick out of people seeing them.

My DH doesn't particularly like porn, and I guess we have role reversal as far as that is concerned! I find it exciting and it adds to my fantasies, which tbh are probably bordering on fetish

Horses for courses and fwiw porn is fairly accepted i reckon - from Page 3 upwards x

sab, are you also an axe murderer who coerces other people into your seedy world of outlandish lust ?

dammit! I have been outed sharpish

i tend to beckon coquettishly rather than coerce though

shit, you are scaring me now

< runs away >

I couldn't give a shit about porn. It's not my cup of tea, I'm not really into it and I couldn't care if my DH looks at it. I have no problem with that and why? Well, because he is a person who respects me, respects himself and is quite capable of deciding for himself what is ok. He is not some kind of pervert who leers at women in a degrading manner. He is a human being and if he looks at a movie or a photograph of sexual behviour, that has absolutely no bearing on how he looks at me or in fact any other woman.

I don't like being told that I am in denial TBH.

Yes, there are some things that are no go and of course there is exploitation, as in all walks of life. Asides that, I think it is a personal thing and each to their own. I just don't like being told that I might be in denial as a woman for not speaking up against porn.

of course i could not influence my dp but i am so glad he is not into porn - so glad

he thinks i secretly want to watch it because i joke that we should nip into a sex shop that is on our way to ikea!!!

any way we don't and i am glad

Rasputin- great sex with your lurve (pornless or pornful) has got to be tops. And if porn turns you off then your partner should compromise.

I had sex in the car park of Ikea today during a thunderstorm. I can assure you I am not an exhibitionist- there was just nothing else to do while waiting for the rain to go off so we could go in. I don't know what that proves- I guess I just felt like sharing

ewww what car do you have!!?

did you pass the sex shop and it got you in the mood?

I think some people are against the accessibility of porn and not so much the use of porn. I have some sympathy with the fact the fact that when I was an adolescent, more was left to the imagination but now my kids will have it all in front of them with just one click. Perhaps, their taste will simply evolve to cope with the endless supply?

But I think the commodisation of sex is a different point to the use of porn by consenting adults.

BoF: you do know that there are probably security cameras focussed on that carpark and you have undoubtedly brightened some poor sod's working day up no end... Smart doggers wait till dark.

Please ignore my pretentious post in favour of BitofFun's post

Hehehe, I didn't notice any sex shops- I suppose I was just storing up brownie points so we didn't row when it came to assembling the bloody stuff...it's worked so far, only one more chest of drawers to go

I live in some parallel universe. Been to Ikea and never seen any sex shop on the way!

bitoffun wise wise woman!

BOF, I think that further proves that you are just a dirty mare......

Well I have had phone sex while assembling IKEA furniture, but not the real thing, so well done BOF.

Christ, nothing like Ikea and the threat of having to assemble it all to put me off sex entirely! Will the people with puns involving the word 'screw' please form an orderly queue?

Yes, plenty of sweaty grunting involved in putting it all together- could work well on the phone...now we need to hear from someone who has actually defiled one of their lovely little room sets with some efficient Swedish manoevres and then cleverly stored away the gimp suit in a specially designed wall-mounted device...

Going back to the strawman further up the thread about womens mags being explicit too, I'd say the following:

Porn in my own definition is women with their legs spread. ie, naked 'split beavers'. Tits and bums are what I'd call titillation, not porn.

So while I abhor the likes of Loaded, Nuts etc, I don't class them as porn.

As for womens magazines, I find them every bit as offensive, naff and exploitative as mens magazines of the same level.

But Cosmo doesn't feature naked people with their legs open, simulating or engaging in sex.

So it isn't 'one rule for women, another for men'. I've never in my life met any woman who masturbates along to pictures of topless men in women's monthly style mags. They'd be as well to wank to the pants section of the Next Directory.

MorrisZapp: so what about Scarlet magazine? Or Petra Joy's films? Or Forum magazine (more words than pics, edited by women, aimed at all genders and sexualities)?

What about them? I know that some women use porn, and that some produce it, write it etc.

Surely those mags you mention have a tiny circulation compared to mens 'dirty mags'?

I've never even seen a copy of Scarlet and I'm a broad minded 38 year old living in the city.

My comments were in reply to the tired old strawman 'yes but women read Cosmo and you see topless men in that so women are just as bad'.

I have never in my life met a woman who wanks to pictures. Seriously. And believe me, my friends love to share their dirtiest secrets.