Signs your husband hates you

[Tinkerbell98]

How can someone tell if their husband hates them? Are there certain behaviours or signs that show they don’t love you anymore? Thanks

Contempt.

I’d imagine that whatever your husband is doing which is making you feel he hates you are probably the behaviours and signs. You’re questioning your relationship, which means there are things very obviously wrong.

Yes definitely contempt. Strange how someone who loved you can feel contempt for you

Took mine to sorrento on a surprise holiday for his 40th that id saved and paid for.. he refused to hold my hand or barely converse with me the entire week let alone kiss me or be intimate with me.. I knew then it was over..

I was in agony with a gum infection. I was literally sobbing. He let me drive myself to the pharmacy in the middle of the night for painkillers and then drive myself to the dentist the following day.

It wasn’t contempt as much as indifference.

Speaks badly of you to others

Are you still together putting up with it or is he now your ex DH?
X

If he treats you in a way he wouldnt dream of treating a stranger, a work colleague, a friend.

He reacts to you being upset or raising an issue with anything other than concern and wanting to fix it.
I will die on this hill. I dont give a fuck why, if you say to a man 'im exhausted and doing 100% of the housework and parenting, I need you to do your share' and he gets defensive and annoyed, he DOESNT FUCKING LIKE YOU. No i dont care if he has a long week. I dont care if mummy did all the housework growing up. I dont care if you are a stay at home mum. I dont care if he has a reason he reacts badly to stuff. If you tell your partner you are on your knees upset and exhausted and they can help you and they arent concerned for your wellbeing and try to figure out a solution with you (whatever that may be) THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU ENOUGH TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. And if he has reasons he reacts badly to a partner telling him they are exhausted because they need him to pull his weight, then he shouldnt be in a bloody relationship and I would think its mighty fucking convenient that his reasons conveniently result in the same bullshit behaviour that a patriarchal society does, to be perfectly fucking honest

(Phew)

This post nails it. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. When someone isn't bothered, one way or the other.

I have similar stories about an ex, and my Mum always said she knew her marriage to my Dad was over when he let her come home on a bus on her own after major abdominal surgery for severe Crohn’s disease. It’s the literally not giving a shit.

Silent treatment

Oh god memories, my XH hated me at the end but I didn’t want to act on knowing it, fortunately he left me

Totally agree! My partner (of 17 years) noticed I hadnt made myself lunch before I went to work yesterday. He swung by and dropped some food off for me. He does everything I do around the house and then some. I could go on but you get the gist.

Surely you know what love is and how good the relationship was at the beginning.

Indifference and stonewalling as the others said.
I’d also add unwillingness to compromise, sabotage and physical violence

Thanks for the replies. I think it’s always difficult to admit to yourself that someone who loved you can actually change that much. Also if there are some signs of love in between the signs of hate it is utterly confusing 🤦🏼‍♀️

Can you say more about what you’re experiencing? It’s a sad, hard time when you realise what you had just isn’t what you have now.

It might be useful to for you to write what you are experiencing.
It felt like my DH hated me at one point, he was later diagnosed with PTSD and after finding the right medication and a good therapist things are much better.

Been there got that t-shirt.
I asked DH to pull his weight and he wouldn't.
I told him to "shape up or ship out" and his answer was to cheat with a girl at work. I threw him out and he went to live with her.
They now have 3 kids and the third one is him. ( ! ) I wish her joy of it.

Constantly acting like they need to take you down a peg or two.
Taking sides of everyone else but you if there is some sort of argument or someone has hurt you.
Metaphorically kicking you when you’re down.
Belittling things that bring you joy. Like your hobbies or talents.
Making everything a competition (like, who has the cold worse)
Comparing you unfavourably to other women/people.
Never noticing when you do something like change your hair BUT first to notice it with other people.
Starts arguments that go round and round.
Unwilling to resolve said arguments, leaving you feeling uneasy and like you are walking on a knife edge.
Spoils things you are looking forwards to, like special occasions.
Crap birthday gifts…when he even remembers.
Cooks for himself or makes tea for himself and ‘forgets’ you.
Starts leaving his laundry around everywhere or unwashed plates in the skin (when he never used to).

Thanks that’s a great list and very true

@Sodthesystemthank you. Exactly as my exH who I also begged to get help with his snoring.
It caused me so many sleepless nights and me going on the sofa. I was in bits.
He sorted it after I’d moved out.

When I snored loudly once, he kicked me in the back.

I agree with the utter indifference to you . The not giving a shit about you. Be that not helping or caring when you’re sick, not bothering with birthdays etc, forgetting things that are important to you. It crept up in my ex relationship. The leaving me to cope, putting everything and everyone before me, the accidental push or pinch, mocking the way I walked and talked, having to knock me down when something nice happened.

then one day I was running myself a bath and he came in to use the toilet, so I went to grab a towel. I walked back in thinking he’d finished and caught him urinating into my bath.

My Xh tried to run me over, so that was a bit of a clue.

How disgusting! That would be the end for me ,it’s abuse!

😮