He's cheating isn't he?

[Notahappybunny22]

Partner of 4 years cheated 2 years ago. I caught him sexting her. He had cheated in his previous partner with same woman. Woman is related to his ex partner. When I caught him 2 years ago he had picked up a distinctive laugh. Anyway a few weeks ago he took his old phone out of storage and it's been on his desk for weeks. He hasn't used his smart watch in about a year but has suddenly decided he wants to wear it again. I caught him 2 years ago via the watch. At weekend he did the same laugh. I said absolutely nothing. Later that day he brought it up saying oh, you know that laugh you hate. I noticed my daughter does it. He said that 2 years ago but cited a different daughter. Obviously he swears there's nothing going on. Weekend was a blow up and now he's booked a trip away and is being extra lovely.

I think he is and I think he knows you know, I'd wave him bye bye

So what happened two years ago when you caught him? You just let it go?

Tell us more about this distinctive laugh.

He blocked her. The laugh stopped

@Notahappybunny22 I have no idea, just keep a close eye on the situation and see how it develops, i may be a bit cynical but my view is and has always been, once a cheat, always a cheat, i'm sure there are exceptions but one thing i know for sure is that if you forgive once they'll expect forgiveness twice because forgiveness teaches them nothing...

I hope you're wrong, i really do, because infidelity is one of the worst forms of mental pain anyone can go through. Question everything, be suspicious of everything, and get your answers and deal with it appropriately...

Good luck, and big hugs 🤗

He should have been dumped 2 years ago

He cheated on you two years ago.
He cheated on his ex prior to that with the same woman.

What is it going to take for you to leave him OP?

He sounds pretty skanky.

What are you going to do? You don’t need evidence, you can just say the relationship isn’t working for you anymore.

What's the laugh like? Like Janice from Friends? Jimmy Carr? Elmo?

Yeah throw that one back.

He was lovely all morning. Then I said I still didn't believe him and he's flipped on me. He swore on his kids lives. He said what do want me to keep telling you the same thing. You won't listen. When I get accused of something I haven't done it gets my back up

He’s going for scorched earth hoping you will back off.

You already know what you have to do.

What a crazy tell though! The “I’m having an affair” nervous laugh.

Any person who swears on their kids lives is a horrible human being and a liar.

Either he is checting or you just don’t trust him which is understandable. Either way you can’t live your life like this.

If he wants to be with this same woman so much why doesn’t he just be with her? Or do you think now it’s a different woman?
Either way he’s a cheat and a liar and he will cheat again.

He swore on his kids lives

They all do.....it's like they think they're in Eastenders.

He's a serial cheat so it was only a matter of time before he cheated again! The laugh thing is weird though - I don't get the significance?

If he’s cheating, let him, tell him go ahead my lovely!
make sure you tell him, “if I were to cheat, you would never know” if you want to stay with this man , you’ll have to play games unfortunately.
if you don’t want to play games then leave him, he’s not interested in a settled down, happy relationship. He wants games

Does the OW (from two years ago) have a distinctive laugh that he's subconsciously copying? Is that how you know?

Have you ever trusted him?

It seems that your life and happiness are all about him and his behaviour, and you figuring out his behaviour.

This is boring and pointless, and a waste of your youth time.

He could steal years from you, after which you will be more sad and upset, or you could think, 'This one is not ten out of ten for me and I am not happy.'

I have left men that are not good enough. It is much easier than half arsing a poor quality relationship. I am now super happily married to a wonderful man who has never given me a single moment of wondering 'does he love me, is he into this relationship.'

Try not to waste too much time. Try not to have too many arguments and lost weekends about exactly how shit he is.

In the end, if it is a bad job, it is best to get out of it asap and start again.

What's the 'laugh' got to do with anything??

If I've understood correctly, the OW has a distinctive laugh and he's subconsciously copying it due to hearing it so frequently.

When they “swear on their kids lives” they are absolutely cheating and lying. I believe it’s in the Cheaters Handbook page one.

Great post. OP you’ve only been with him 4 years. Hopefully no kids together. Bin and move on!