Okay, I'm writing this openly, not as an attack on my wife of course haha. I just can't really talk about this with anyone in real life, so I figured I'd ask here.
My wife and I are both 44. We've been together since high school, so we've got a very long history together. We have three kids, both have good jobs, and thankfully neither of us has much work-related stress. We genuinely love each other, still find each other attractive, and our relationship is good.
We're both fairly slim and in decent shape for our age. Neither of us is a model or anything, but we're healthy. My wife does yoga and jogs, and she runs/exercises around three times a week. I used to be reasonably active too, although I wasn't nearly as consistent as she is.
Our sex life used to be pretty normal for us usually once or twice a week. But for roughly the last year and a half, my libido has dropped quite a bit. There have been weeks where I just haven't felt interested at all, followed by periods where things go back to normal.
My wife has a much higher libido than I do. For her, sex is pleasure, relaxation, stress relief, intimacy basically an important part of our relationship. I know it's important to her.
About two weeks ago, she got pretty disappointed and honestly a little angry with me. Her point was basically that it's partly my responsibility as her husband to take care of my health and make sure we're not neglecting our sex life.
I didn't really have an answer to that. I understand where she's coming from, but I also can't exactly switch my libido on like a light.
Then last Saturday she arrived with a PLAN.
She had apparently decided that we're changing my diet, and she had basically planned out what I'm eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She's also added a proper exercise/running routine for me every weekend because I haven't been consistent.
She even spoke to a doctor about it and got the okay before adding some vitamins and other things.
And now, on top of all that, she keeps sending me Instagram reels from women talking about improving men's sex lives/libido.
She's become extremely strict about the whole thing.
I know she's coming from a good place. She's not trying to shame me, and I know she wants us to have a good sex life. She's also probably right that I should take better care of my health and be more consistent with exercise.
But at the same time, I'm sitting here thinking this diet and new routine are going to kill me before they fix anything.
I love my wife, I'm attracted to her, and I absolutely want our sex life to be good. This isn't a relationship problem.
I'm just wondering if anyone else around their 40s has experienced something similar one partner having a much higher libido while the other's suddenly drops, and whether lifestyle changes actually helped.
And has anyone else's spouse ever basically taken over their health routine because they decided your sex life needed fixing