I genuinely don’t know what to think about this and would appreciate some opinions.
I’ve been with my DP a long time. He stayed at a friend’s for a couple of days as we needed some space we have been bickering over silly things, we sorted that issue out and yesterday he needed to catch up on some washing.
He took some washing from the basket, but also had a bag of washing in his car from when he’d been away. He washed it and put it out on the line.
Amongst his washing was a woman’s vest.
I asked him where the washing had come from and he said it was from the bag in his car from when he’d stayed away. So obviously I asked him how a woman’s top had ended up in there.
Instead of just explaining it, he immediately got really defensive and aggressive and started insinuating that I knew exactly where the top had come from.
He then started suggesting that I’d had a woman staying at the house while he’d been away and was basically accusing me of cheating on him with women / being bisexual / having lesbian relationships. This is not the first time he has accused me of this!
I was completely baffled because I have absolutely no idea where the top came from. I was asking HIM because I wanted to know.
This morning I brought it up again because I wanted him to explain what exactly he was insinuating about me, as he has never had any reason to think I’m bi sexual or unfaithful other than a few years ago when we would go out together and random woman on the odd occasion have complimented me on my looks/body, he said I should of told them to leave me alone and not entertain it, the only other incident was my friend did tap my bum years ago when she was tipsy jokingly complimenting my behind, and I addressed this with her afterwards it’s not happened since.
Last week I stayed at a friends house I never go out anymore but it was an overdue catch up we ended up sharing a taxi and I stayed over , the next day he saw my underwear in the washing basket and my discharge was more noticeable than usual and he brought it up I explained calmly that it’s due to being peri menopausal and the fact we had a slip up that week and had to take emergency contraception.
He completely lost it this morning.
Shouting, screaming, swearing, calling me degrading names, I never called him no names.
He doesn’t normally speak to me like that and I was honestly shocked.
In the end I told him to leave. I said I’m not having any man speak to me like that and kicked him out.
He’s now been texting me for hours, still insisting that I know where the top came from and bringing up my underwear again and trying to turn the whole thing around on me. It’s almost like he’s trying to convince me that I’M the one who’s done something wrong.
I accept there could be an innocent explanation for the top. That’s not even necessarily my biggest concern at this point.
It’s the reaction.
If your partner found a woman’s top in your washing, surely you’d expect them to ask where it came from? Why immediately accuse them of cheating and then become verbally abusive when they ask you about it?
Am I missing something here?
Would you be more suspicious about the top itself, or more concerned about his reaction?
What would you do?