Anyone else struggling to make female friends after turning 50?

[Munchkinjack]

Hi all
I basically don't have any friends
I've just turned 50.
i would love a best friend for girly chats etc
my kids are grown up I have a dog and my partner is my best friend but I would love a female friend . I work from home. I get lonely .
My partner has lots of friends, he still lives in his home town . They are all men tbh and he has curry nights football nights etc . I had a friend, a drinking buddy and dog walking buddy but she sadly passed away a couple of years ago i miss her . I'm going to try a gym as I need to feel better about myself and more confident.. maybe I'll meet a friend there. Anyone else ? I feel it's just me like this .

I still have a core group of good mates. But just met a lovely new group of women via a village book group someone set up via Facebook. It's really lovely, about 12 of us in the core group who always turn up. We meet for the book in a pub but also we do add hock meet ups and occasionally some will say " it's been a hard week, who wants the pub tonight?"and a few will always turn up.

It's lovely. Try to set one up if there isn't one already.

I live near old school friends but have grown quite distant over the years. See them very very occasionally but not particularly comfortable with them all anymore. I’d love a bestie that I can be totally myself with. No advice just solidarity ❤️

What about joining the WI or attending evening classes?. What subjects interest you?. Do local churches offer drop in sessions for coffee/cake or even things like samba classes?. What about ladies only swimming sessions?. Widen your field a bit more.

You work from home; can you get a job that entails working outside the home too?.

Do not waste money on gyms. They are not the place to meet people; many listen to music through earphones and do not want to chat.

Book club?.

Good suggestion but I'm not a fan of social media at all

What about trying a women’s retreat? It’s a good way to make lasting friendships and most women go on their own. I made some lovely friends on a Sisters Heal retreat earlier this year.

Ah thank you ashhhhh

Ooh I've not heard of that not sure what it even is lol

I’m in the process of forming a new (to me) group. One worked with me but lived in the same village, one is a school mum and one has just moved here.

We catch up for drinks or a walk or a sea swim every few weeks and have a WhatsApp group. It’s very relaxed. Some very funny chats!

I do need to tone abit though so I will try the gym . I'm not really a person that will just walk into a room full of strangers esp a church I would feel very awkward

That sounds good I don't know about the sea swim bit however!

@Munchkinjacka retreat is better than the gym as women go to meet other women and make friends and you also do yoga, walks etc. The one I went on was single sex and there were lots of great chats and we have all stayed in touch afterwards. https://sistersheal.co.uk/

I feel your pain. I too am early 50s and haven’t had the group of friends that I always wanted and find it really hard to make new friendships. I only have 2 friends that I’ve known for half of my life (see them every 2/3 months) but lots of nice acquaintances from groups /gym and my kids friends’ parents but they aren’t actual friends. I think I missed out on how to get people to want to spend time with me. I’m so sorry for your loss- it must be really hard to have lost the one person who really get you. Good luck

Thank you Rossers I'll have a look

Thank you pipersouth I hope you also find your bestie !

Whereabouts are you op?

I live on a very large estate too and it seems people know eachother and are chatting (not with me) esp the local pubs I just sit there feeling lonely , (when I'm with my partner and he sees a guy he knows )the other ladies don't seem very friendly tbh.

I actually think most people have more friends than they think they have. So, start there and put yourself out more with the people you already know.

I don't unfortunately

OK, but maybe start by thinking about why that is, as a way into thinking about how to make new friends.

I have for a long time and I just don't know the answer

It is really hard to put yourself out there. Getting chatting is easy enough but making that person a friend is a whole different thing sadly.

I learnt to ride a motorcycle, then I joined a local group in South Wales. We are always meeting up and going on holidays. Not just on bikes, plane holidays, weekend breakfast and evening meals. Now I don't have enough free time. Never ridden before my 50s. Not saying you should just saying maybe think of different hobbies.

I’m nearly 50 and in the same situation. My parents are aging, I have a 14 year old and an adult child with a mh problem. So I do t really have time to go out and make new friends even though want to. When ever I get a “break” from relentless family life I see my partner. But I miss having friends and getting invited to bbqs and hosting ect. I can see my old age being really lonely and I feel I’ve missed out on 20 years of having friends.

I have lots of friends, you really need to make the effort though at this age.

Can you invite all of your neighbours over as a starting point for some drinks over the autumn?
Can you get back in touch with your old friends and catch up?
Tennis clubs are very friendly and yoga classes too. Book clubs and even the local church you will find lovely people there.