Anyone else struggling to make female friends after turning 50?

[Munchkinjack]

Hi all
I basically don't have any friends
I've just turned 50.
i would love a best friend for girly chats etc
my kids are grown up I have a dog and my partner is my best friend but I would love a female friend . I work from home. I get lonely .
My partner has lots of friends, he still lives in his home town . They are all men tbh and he has curry nights football nights etc . I had a friend, a drinking buddy and dog walking buddy but she sadly passed away a couple of years ago i miss her . I'm going to try a gym as I need to feel better about myself and more confident.. maybe I'll meet a friend there. Anyone else ? I feel it's just me like this .

That's wonderful. I wish you were in my area.

@darknight4898 Well yes. I’d run a mile. I’ve given up a group because the leader is disorganised and on the spectrum. It’s wearing and annoying: it’s not for me but if it floats your boat, great. I think we do try and be with people on our wavelength but health issues don’t do it for me I’m afraid.

I'm similar and just turned 50 too. I got upset about my 50th in that I'm not doing anything with friends and do I even have any anymore. I've still got a young child but all the school mums are 10 to15 years younger than me so I feel out of place. I do activities that involve being with others but I don't have any close connections through that. I'm still in touch with school friends and some others but I can't be fully myself with them.

I’ve been pondering this and I probably should’ve said something in case it gives anyone hope

If you had asked me this time last year, I would’ve said it was all good with the social group that I have. It’s probably been the last 8 to 10 months that it doesn’t feel right for me. That was found through extensive local networking. I’ll probably go back to it when I feel a bit more confident about directing the conversation myself.

and I haven’t got no one at all, I would just like more because I spent my 20s and 30s having quite a tight knit group and I really miss that. They didn’t know each other, but I had lots of people I was close with.

I actually like that thing where people are messaging throughout the day talking about how their meetings went and stuff. I think now a lot of people feel they have communication overload.

@flipflop76 does the age gap bother you or are you feeling like it might bother them? The one person I’ve met who I think is really a friend (I find it hard to trust that ) is 15 years younger than me and my last boyfriend was a lot younger than me!

Tough at this age unless you have interests

Ah shame we can't go together ! U sound like my kinda gal

I moved to a new town 10 years ago. My girlfriends I met mostly through classes at the gym. We are still friends years on in different groups. You need to be able to identify people you have a laugh with in class and the. Just suggested a coffee to see if you get on

That's good I'm hoping to find a buddy at the gym

I have crohns disease but I don't want sympathy or to bark on about it a bore a potential friend unless of course she also had the disease then we could prob discuss for hours lol

@MunchkinjackDon’t you think that’s what a menopause group will do though? A one topic borefest for England?

No, it isn't a one topic borefest and I find your statement very judgemental. There tends to be less performing. The group I'm hoping to join (I have met them once before) were extremely honest about relationships of all kinds. Their physical difficulties. Work issues. All sorts of things. A lot of these ladies are also creative and caring, most in care giving roles. It was a privilege to access such sharing with both tears and laughter and understanding.
I attend another group where sometimes the conversation can be deep and sometimes it is about art and film and books and actually proves a distraction to real life. I appreciate a mixture of discussions and of course would look to have friends whom I can socialise and not be particularly close to. With my best friends, I don't have to be anything different than who I am.

havent been to many group classes at all esp one regarding menopause but no harm in giving it a try .

@darknight4898 And that’s fun? It’s sort of therapy so I’d be out of the door in 5 seconds. And yes, we are allowed to judge when something isn’t for us! If it’s what floats your boat, that’s fine. It’s rather self absorbed though. And for me, utterly boring.