Should I be concerned about my partner’s colleague viewing my Facebook profile?

[Awiane]

Hi guys , need advice so my facebook setting is digital creator meaning i can see who view my profile , even if we arent friends , a girl from my partners work comes up almost every time , a few years back there was deleted messages between them to ? Should i ask her why does she keep viewing my profile or am i just being silly as it a public platform

I don't think OP is concerned that her posts are being seen so much as someone, who happens to be a woman from work who DH has previously been caught messaging too much, is making a point of looking at her profile regularly.

And that is something to feel weird about, not because of what she's seeing but becuase of the level of interest she has in OP.

I click on a story all the time by accident when I’m scrolling. Not remotely interested. If it’s on your newsfeed, it starts running even if you don’t press on it.

of course you could never find out who looks at your profile, how frequently etc. that would literally be absurd as if it were true, no one would use Facebook.

This is exactly what i mean ❤️

Looking at a story can happen accidentally. Your profile could crop up on her people you may know and if she’s clicked the photo then she will automatically see your story. I’ve done it loads of times. I’ve also looked at colleagues partners and family before because I’m nosey and when you’re talking to someone about their family day in day out it’s nice to put a name to a face.

I presume you are worried about the motives behind why she’d be looking at your profile? Are you concerned there’s something going on?

Its almost every time. Even her auntie viewed my profile to , we have no mutal friends , so she is activealty checking , other view to , i do understand its a public platform but shes always poping up

If your settings are set so that randoms can see your posts, then you don’t have a leg to stand on. Your issue is that your partner wasn’t transparent with his communications with her and that’s on your partner.

Yes I agree this isn’t a privacy issue it’s a “why is this woman looking?” issue.

Can you block her?

The thing is that looking at your profile doesn't automatically mean one thing or another. You can't read her mind, and you can't ask.

If you have trust issues with your partner, then focus on that.

People are nosy. Just block her if you want to keep your profile public.

When I don’t want to go to bed, I will literally do anything on my phone to get out of it. Look at random fb profiles, google utter nonsense etc.

It’s weird purely because of the deleted messages. If it wasn’t for that, I’d have assumed it was nothing and just the Facebook algorithm pushing tangentially connected people together and autoplaying reels. The deleted messages take it to a different place. How do you know there were deleted messages? Did you ask him about them? What did he say? I think if you haven’t asked him already, you need to ask him now. If you asked him before, were you happy with the answer you got? Does the fact that she’s viewing your posts change whether you are happy with the answer you got?

i don’t think you can ask her why she’s viewing your posts, but I do think you need to clear up the messages issue. And I’d block her.

Why don’t you just block her if you don’t want her looking?!

Exactly, it’s amazing how many people jump to conclusions without reading posts properly.

@Awiane It would make me curious too, either there’s something going on between them, or this colleague wishes there was and is being nosy to see if you guys are still together. Ask him.

She’s not going to tell you the truth is she? Any person that goes and asks their partner what they think of cheating / cheaters and 100% will say ‘disgusting behaviour’ but yet people cheat soooooo….

She fancies your partner clearly. It doesn’t matter whether she admits it or not, you’ll just need to decide whether you trust him. Also, really normal
to look at people’s stories etc so I think it would be weird to question it.

Not sure why you're getting questions about the digital content creator term or the disbelief. When you put a story, it's categorised as you say and you can in fact see who views it.

If you see people you know or are connected with, it might not mean a great deal as sometimes they'll scroll past, maybe click on and engage. If it's people who are in your location generally or might be a friend of a friend, it might just be quite random.

You're right. She obviously knows your name through him and has sought out your social media for whatever reason. She's probably looked at as much as you have available if she's shown up on stories. But that doesn't necessarily mean and can't prove anything about them or him. Just that she wants to know about you.

@Awiane DO you suspect she's having an affair with your dh?

You're probably not looking at the same ones every day though?

Not specifically directed at you, but the lengths some posters will go to dismiss an OP's concerns and pretned whatever it is is completely usual.

If they click the reel and play, yes you can see they have visited. If they simply open your page, you can’t. And does it matter if you made it public then that’s the risk you’re taking. Personally I would never have children publicly available for viewing by randoms.

She wants to shag your husband or already is.

Thanks for the honesty! Love it

That's the fear isn't it? That she's looking at your FB because she's obsessed with him and wants to keep tabs on you somehow.

It's possible, but it may not be the case. She could just have an appropriate work friendship with him now and your name pops up because she's friends with him and she clicks because it's there. If it is the case asking her directly why she's viewing you is unlikely to get an honest answer, it will just put her on guard. You can still block her if you want, can't you?

I think if you're concerned about this you need to focus on your DH more. It's his behaviour and loyalty that really matters to you. Do you think he may be being inappropriate again? Also, ask yourself whether him messaging inappropriately before is really resolved for you, are you okay with him and do you trust him?

He said the messages before where innocent , but this girl is constantly on there , i would get once or twice but its been 7 times in august . I no i may look abit crazy confronting her but does she not look a tad crazy checking my profile all the time ?