I feel it was rude.

[1971girl]

Hi all. I went on a coffee date with a man today. I had matched with him on a dating site. We had spoken on the phone twice before and got on well. Anyway, during the coffee date we chatted really well for ages. One thing I did find very rude was that his sister phoned him and he took the call! He sat and chatted to her for 5 mins or so while I just sat there. It wasn't an emergency call. He was talking to her about a wedding she had been to. I think he does like me but I am not sure I felt a spark after meeting him. Am I over reacting to him chatting to his sister? I would never do this to anyone myself. Wtf.

I wouldn't like this at all. I wouldn't see him again.

That was rude.

Very rude

Rude.

That was rude to me but everyone has different views... he did not know it wouldn't be urgent and would be rude to cut her off? Would give benefit of the doubt

Exceptionally rude. I would not see l him again

It’s so so so rude, I would definitely be put off.

Oh gosh maybe I’m a walkover, but I wouldn’t find that too rude. Maybe he could have said oh by the way sis I’m on a date, why I don’t I call you back later and we can have a proper chat. I think if he talked for 1hr I’d think that was off but 5 mins isn’t too bad and I’d just want to be quite chill about it. Give me a chance to text a friend to tell him/her a quick check in on what my initial impression was off him.

Fine to answer, but after establishing it's not a problem that needs urgent attention, he should have said, "I'm busy just now, can we chat some other time," and ended the call.

My first instinct is to think this is very rude, but my second instinct is to think it's a good sign he has that kind of a relationship with his sister- so I am torn.

Rude I hate this. Would have struggled to hide my irritation.

Rude. I probably would have walked out though.

Yes it's rude

He was chatting away and asking her questions. He could have just said to her he was busy and would call her back. I would be mortified doing this to someone myself. It was for over 5 minutes.

Are you sure it was even his sister? And did you hear the phone ring? Might be one of those manosphere mind games to see how you will take it.

Of course sane people would just have said “hey I’m on a date atm I Will call you back”. And then apologised.

People who don’t respect normal social boundaries don’t respect relationship boundaries either imo.

Yes I would suspect it wasn’t even his sister tbh.

Definitely was his sister. He said he is close to them all. Personally, I would squirm doing that on someone. Especially if i was trying to impress them.

Did he pay for the date?

Bought me a coffee.

This wouldn’t have bothered me..

After 2 mins I would have looked at my watch rather pointedly and 2 mins later unless he was making sounds loke he was trying to wind up the convo I would have gathered my bag/coat and moved to make my exit. If that didn't elicit a reaction/realisation I would have kept walking.

Did he even apologise? Or mouth sorry to you and roll his eyes as if he couldn't get away? Or in any way acknowledge his rudeness?

If he is that inconsiderate on date one it probably won't improve.

Yes. Answering the call - fine, might have been a family emergency. But once he'd established nothing was wrong, he should have said he was busy and would call her back

Yes it was rude but not enough for me to not see him again.

We have no idea what the sister has going on in her life and he may have felt uncomfortable rushing to end the call too soon.

There is another thread about a woman struggling with her MH after her DD committed suicide and her DH now leaving her.
If that poster was my sister I would have 100% answered the call regardless of who I was with.

I would have expected him to say “sorry about that” or something similar.

Being close to siblings is a green flag for me though.

He sat happily chatting away to her. I couldn't believe it. I didn't say anything but I could just feel myself feeling deflated. Another thing I noticed is that I volunteered a lot of information about myself. Such as that my adult son has autism. He liked talking about his kids but didn't seem interested enough to ask me about my son!

That would be a nope he seems inconsiderate if this is his best behavior then it's only downhill from here