I feel it was rude.

[1971girl]

Hi all. I went on a coffee date with a man today. I had matched with him on a dating site. We had spoken on the phone twice before and got on well. Anyway, during the coffee date we chatted really well for ages. One thing I did find very rude was that his sister phoned him and he took the call! He sat and chatted to her for 5 mins or so while I just sat there. It wasn't an emergency call. He was talking to her about a wedding she had been to. I think he does like me but I am not sure I felt a spark after meeting him. Am I over reacting to him chatting to his sister? I would never do this to anyone myself. Wtf.

Throw this one back. In my dating days I’d have switched my phone on to silent for a first date and checked it when I went to the loo.
It’s not just the phone call is it-he’s not showing reciprocal interest in you if he’s not asking you about aspects of your life.
You deserve better and it’s good you’ve clocked this as rude behaviour on the first date because this is him at his best and out to impress. You were not impressed and rightly so.

Really rude. Only excuse would be if it was urgent information eg regarding a relative in hospital or something. It would put me off.

This was really rude, I agree. I wouldn’t bother with him again following this.

Very rude

@1971girlI feel your pain. I’ll be kind re the sister chat .. maybe (just maybe) he wanted to show you what a good relationship he has with his sister / family and that he’s not averse to wedding chat (I mean probably not but ya know)

Your second point however is my biggest bugbear with OLD. It’s like an epidemic. I went on 3 dates with a man recently and said no to a 4th for this reason. Who allowed these men to believe they are the most interesting person in the room? I am a natural question asker (I think a lot of women are) but unfortunately it leads men to think that they can just talk endlessly about themselves and there are no questions coming back. This man only knew anything about me as I volunteered information without him asking! It really annoys me. So for that reason I think he has to be a no.

It’s frustrating when you like someone and you feel a bit of a connection as we know how hard this is to find with OLD but he’d drive you mad.

If you didn’t feel a spark you didn’t feel a spark, so you don’t have to worry about whether him taking the call was rude, you just presumably aren’t going to see him again. If him taking the call was the only thing that put you off him and everything else was good, that wouldn’t be enough to stop me seeing someone again if I felt a spark. Even though I’d also think it was rude. You don’t know the background- his sister might have some kind of anxiety condition where he always needs to answer to her. He might have needed to tell her something quickly. I’d say his behaviour around taking the call is more important- did he apologise after? Or say ‘excuse me/sorry I just have to take this’? before? If he didn’t say any of that stuff then yeah it could be a dealbreaker then

Very rude. red flag. Don't date him again. He could have ignored the call or at worse "I'll phone you back"

You're better than me. I would have simply walked out.

Very rude. I ended a new friendship for this very reason. She took 3 calls during our coffee meetup - none of which were an emergency. So inconsiderate.

Incredibly bad manners. There wouldn’t be a second date if I were in your shoes.

First date with a new guy...his ex kept ringing up to see how it was going!!

OMG! 😦

@WhatNextImScared i know 😂😂

Definitely rude

Rude and self-absorbed. As the decluttering guys say, Discard pile !

Not sure what that's got to do with it. Buying a coffee for someone doesn't entitle you to expect them to sit there like a lemon while you chatter away on the phone to someone else.

This is my absolute pet peeve - just NO. It's what it says that is important for you though and about his boundaries and lack of social awareness about you being sat there waiting. It can depend a bit, someone telling you they have to take the call, taking it and being very brief feels different from someone who picks up a call they could easily have left and then gets into a whole conversation about a social occasion. You can see how it goes but this doesn't bode well - he either isn't aware of how you might feel or worse, he is aware but it isn't a priority. Neither is easy to live with.

Rude-ish. But I would also wonder if there was something going on with his sister which meant he felt he needed to be available. Maybe she has poor health- mental or physical and he wants to be available for her.

I’d want to find out more.

Maybe he should have cut the call short, its something you could talk about on the next date. His sister is likely very close yo him maybe

Well he definitely wasn't bothered about impressing you. I wouldn't see him again.

I wouldn't do it but people may think I'm rude because I have no issue with ignoring a phone call. If I'm busy I'm not answering. My DH is the opposite and can't let a phone ring out, he will answer every time. He struggles not answering mine when I ignore it.

This

Think it was rude too.

Combining those things together I’d say he’s rude. I wouldn’t see him again as lacking basic manners annoys the life out of me, and people who can’t manage the basics generally end up being repeatedly rude.

Could be all kinds of back story about his sister. Maybe including some code words to ensure his date wasn't with a psycho ...