Is a thank you expected for cash wedding gifts nowadays?

[Littleferns]

What is the etiquette these days for thanking people who give you money in lieu of wedding gifts these days?
Obviously I know most people have already got their houses etc by the time they get married these days and it’s very normal to ask for money for honeymoon or towards a bigger purchase rather than towels or toasters like it was whwn I got married. The last couple of weddings I have been to have included an online means of donating this money. I am always happy to do this but neither of the bride/grooms have sent even a message to say thank you.

Am I being old fashioned expecting a thank you? My partner thinks you shouldn’t give to expect a thank you whereas I think it’s common courtesy and it isn’t difficult to ping an email or message via messenger/text.

imo it’s rude not to send a thank you. It doesn’t have to be a letter, a phone call or email are equally acceptable.For a wedding I think it’s nice for couple to send a photo with a thank you message.
You are not being old fashioned; they are rude.

We received a thank you which I think is normal good manners.

We were married 12yrs ago and I realise everything is more digital now, but I'd find no thank you at all to be very rude.

I posted out a thank you card to every guest and also some older relatives who couldn't travel and had sent no gift at all. We'd made the card ourselves using photos from the day and personalised the wording on each one.

I hate it when people don't send thank you cards. Currently writing them for my newborn and it's tough going, but people deserve it.

I don't know if receiving a thank you is normal practice or not...but I personally wouldn't be bothered in not receiving one. The way I look at it is that the bride and groom already hosted an elaborate event that they invited me to with music and food (and sometimes other aspects) - especially if the food was amazing, I feel my gift/contribution contributes to what I got to participate in/enjoy balances out.

A thank you should be sent but not in very short order (so you may or may not be being unreasonable!). We had a three week honeymoon and then over 100 thank yous to hand write. It did take about three months from wedding to final batch.

What if you sent cash but were unable to attend?

My Dd and her Dh got money as gifts they sent thank you cards to their guests, of course it isn't old fashioned to expect a thank you.

They got them made up and printed after their wedding the had a copy of their signatures put on.

In that case then I think a thank you would definitely be appropriate!

But I think sending out individual thanks yous to all the guests that came is kind of crazy. Especially if you had a very large wedding. Obviously if that's the standard etiquette, it is what it is I guess (and in that case I would be inclined to send a generic thank you to all the guest rather than personalized thank yous), but I don't think it should be necessary or expected.

I appreciate a thank you for a cash wedding gift and try not to keep a list in my head of those who didn't send one!! It often takes a while and thats absolutely fine but always best to err on the side of good manners

I think a thank you is good manners.
But the last 2 cash wedding gifts I have received no ‘thank yous’ .
One was a family only wedding which I didn’t go to ( not family but a daughter of very close friends) and one was a friend. Both young couples in their 20s so I don’t know if that makes a difference.

Yes, of course, it’s normal to say thank you. It may not come as a thank you card in the post, but a message or a thank you when they next see you. Traditionally though, I believe the couple has a year to send the thank yous out.

Do people really think that if someone gives you £100 or more as a gift for your wedding you don't need to say thank you and it shouldn't be expected? Manners are everything but maybe I'm old fashioned. Digital thank you cards take seconds to send but people just cant be arsed it would seem.

Basic courtesy saying thank you for what you are given as a gift!

Did you contact them to check they actually received the money? Someone may have stolen it!

I recently gave a friend a reasonable large monetary gift, and hasn't even been mentioned. I'm a little shocked tbh.

I'd like to do this but afraid it will be seen as looking for a thank you.

I don't personally give a shit, but enough people do that it's the safe option to make a thank you.

When was the wedding. If months ago yanbu, if it’s weeks they could be on honeymoon or still sifting through lists of people to thank.

I have multiple friends abroad and was invited to one their weddings, but we were unable to attend. I posted a decent cash amount in a card, recorded and signed for delivery. Never heard a thing, not even a thank you text/email.

My next visit back I attended her baby shower. I asked her outright if she had received my card and wedding gift? She mumbled for a bit then said she had. Still no thank you, there was no need because you didn't actually attend the wedding etc. Long story short, we've never spoken again.

I didn't get a thank you either and it was family!

You must have more confidence to know that saying thank you is not old fashioned.

I don’t expect them, sometimes we receive a thank you card with a photo of the bride and groom on the front, other times a text, sometimes nothing.
i reeeeeally don’t care either way.
i do thank people for presents because it’s nice but i don’t get aggrieved to not receive a thank you.

Yes. It's nice to sit and write all the thank yous, and make cards that are relevant for each guest (if you have kids, it's great to get them to help with crafting the cards).
Really rude not to. People have spent time and money coming to your wedding, if you can't be bothered to take some time doing it, you don't need to get married, or you can be very clear "no gifts allowed" on your invitations.

I expect it...but have had very few thank you messages over the past several years.

I find that very often the parents thank me.