Husband unhappy at weekends especially.

[Caspino]

Hi all,

Struggling with something and would like advice, opinions or experiences please.

Its Saturday and I've noticed my husband appears tense, distracted, a bit checked out so I've asked a few times what's wrong. He keeps saying nothing but then eventually I said you seem stressed and he said, its a weekend, im always stressed at weekends.

Its true. He does seem tense at weekends, I often take the kids out for a few hours on a Saturday so he can get a few hours to do some work in the garden etc we tend to spend Sundays as a family but today it really just broke my heart.

Our 2 children are very young and we both work full time so I feel that our weekends together are the majority of their childhood and I just want them to be happy. I want my husband to be happy and mostly I want him to be happy to be with us. He got defensive when I tried to talk about it further so im not really sure what to do.

I should note he has anxiety and depression anyway but he has a lot of get up and go and passion for projects and hobbies.

I'm just really gutted tbh. Been sitting with a lump in my throat since he said it and just not sure what to do.

Sit him down and give him TWO choices :

1. He involves himself in weekends as a family Or
2. You both take turns ALTERNATELY planning activity with children ( giving the other some FREE time).

Bet you he opts for the Group together plan.

Sounds like you’re married to a ‘me, me, me, it’s all about me’ person. Parenthood is hard and particularly so when you’re holding down a full time job and going into full parenting mode on the weekend to over compensate for not being present during the week. He needs to get a grip and not think it’s okay to check out of parenting or being a husband because he feels stressed. Sounds like you’re enabling him to be a manchild by trying to take away the pressure, so he is running with it…

I don’t believe he had depression , I do believe a lot of his self esteem comes from how much money he earns and that reflects in how he treats us as a family.
He had to take a pay cut and became a shell of himself, couldn’t be a part of the family fully and just didn’t want to be around us. The moment the new job was offered with much better pay, he completely changed and wanted to be more involved with us all. He was happy to be around us all at weekends, even in the tough moments he supported me better.

You cannot make someone happy.
He has to explain what would help or do something about his depression
Uf he does not want to be around you and dc maybe you can separate so he can work it out?
You trying to make happy family weekends and he is not