Holiday with ex and children

[HoneyMonsters]

Would you go on holiday with an ex and your children. Not friends bu any means but civil enough. No new partners to worry about. Wouldnt want to take them abroad on my own. Has anyone done this? How did it go?

Im not sure I’d take them away ever year lol? Wouldnt have the money! Not a great idea? Have you read the comments seems it’s worked for lots of people

Wouldn't be for me.

where you all going to sleep if in a hotel?

How long ago did you split up?

Separate rooms would be a must! Been split up for years

I’ve done it 3 or 4 times with my ex husband and kids. One child is autistic and taking him anywhere alone is a nightmare. It can be challenging but overall it works for us.

I think you could do this, but that you would need to set really clear boundaries. Separate bedrooms, separate days for each of you to be with the kids. I would certainly avoid cozy evening chats with a bottle of wine to keep the boundaries clear.

I can understand why you wouldn’t want to do it by yourself and I think it would be lovely for the kids.

I regularly go on holiday with my (technically not-so-ex-Husband)! (Just to clarify - we separated years ago but he doesn't want to divorce).

It works perfectly for us. We do have separate hotel rooms I will add. We still enjoy each others company and I know he always has my best interests at heart, as I have for him too.

"Horses for Courses" it seems. The only thing I wish he wouldn't do is email me 'memories' - as it always starts me off down a weird route...

There is no animosity between us whatsoever though - so different to your situation.

I would think the very fact that you are considering it means that it'll be ok. Plus the focus won't be your relationship anyway.

Go for it! Give it a try! x

During covid we did. We took our daughter abroad and managed a week.
I get on really well with me ex H, in fact, we've all been out for dinner tonight.
If you think you can cope, then do it. The kids will be happy that you are together.

Just throwing it out there if it's not occurred to you, a cruise might work for you? Kids clubs including into the evening and will cater for SN, organised events for singles/lone cruisers and just generally quite easy logistically because you have food, entertainment, lots of staff on site.

I've been on a few with my kids, they were a safe reintroduction to travel after separating. Many cruises I've been on have their own FB group in the lead up and I've seen lone mums use them to get to know each other so they can hang out once on board.

Oh no I don’t like the sea or ships my worst nightmare 🫣 would have been a nice idea though if it wasn’t so sea sick

That sounds great im really pleased reading all these comments it seems like a great idea if it means I can finally get to take the kids away

I would be concerned that one of you might have unresolved feelings. Are you 100% sure that wouldn’t be an issue? Because you liked each other once so there must be aspects of each other you at least potentially find attractive.

No unresolved feelings I just need someone that can help with the children and I really want to go abroad i cant accept never going abroad again 🥲

How long are you guys split up ?

9 years so long enough.

If that’s definitely not an issue then maybe worth a short trip to test it out. One other possibility, are there any holidays for single parents you could try? Like through Gingerbread or similar? Could be a nice way to meet some people as well.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/find-information/family-life/going-on-holiday/

Thanks but I wouldn’t go away with people I didn’t know, no guarantee you’d get on etc

Also it would mainly be for the help not for company

Yeah that’s a bit .
I don’t see anything wrong with going on holiday together 🤷🏻‍♀️ , it’s not like you guys split up a few months ago & you’re giving the kids false hope of a reconciliation .
If you get on well , why not .
Enjoy the holiday 😊

Would you spend the time together as a family, or take it in turns to spend time with the kids while the other one chills? The more I'm reading other people's experiences, the more I'm thinking 'why not'?

My son and I sometimes do days out with my ex, occasionally with just him but more often with him, his wife, and her son, but we're all pretty much friends. Not sure I'd want to do longer than a day, but if it works for you, your ex, and your kids, why not?

So how did you cope in a hotel for the weekend on your own with the children? How is it different?

just trying to understand the logistics?

going away abroad and getting 2 hotel rooms is going to be expensive, you’ll end up paying adult price for children

unless you book a two bed villa

I don’t think it’s comparable to a weekend away in the UK. Travelling abroad alone with children comes with extra risks and responsibilities that simply aren’t there at home. Many UK hotels don’t even have swimming pools, whereas abroad they’re often a central feature and require constant supervision it only takes a second if you take your eye off one child to help another. If you’re the only adult, you can’t split your attention between children. You’re also in an unfamiliar country, with a language barrier if a child gets lost or there’s an emergency. And if you become ill or have an accident, there’s no second adult to care for the children while you get help. Everything from navigating an unfamiliar area to accessing medical care is harder when you’re abroad alone with children than it is on a typical weekend away in the UK. Then there’s the airport navigating that alone and the plane. I honestly don’t see how anyone thinks it’s comparable to a weekend or even a week in the UK where you can easily come back home if you need to.

Probably a mixture of both, I don’t mind the company I don’t hate him, but would be nice for one take turns watching the kids as well.

I’ve travelled abroad solo with an 18 month old and 7 year old for a month. So having done that and had a weekend in a hotel with both I would say it’s comparable.

tbh I didn’t ever find it much different from being home. Most pools are fenced of, I’d take emergency medication. Daughter was sick on one trip but had medication and pharmacy helped considerably. Have ended up in A&E but found it better than uk and much quicker with staff mostly fluent in English . But was just trying to see if there were any solutions to the problems you had. If you’re not comfortable with travelling solo fair enough not everyone is happy on there own. Plus all children are different, and mine were both calm natured so it was easy

perhaphs look at at euro camp hope Italy and get a 3 bedrooms caravan easy distance to airport and town/beach. That way you all get space. But won’t pay massive supplements. Last week in August is often cheaper and less crowded. Some great tips on eurocsmo on TikTok

Thanks but your kids are different from mine, mine all have varying needs of disability which I did mention. I know others manage it but I know my kids and I know I won’t manage it alone.