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Relationships

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Holiday with ex and children

107 replies

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 15:19

Would you go on holiday with an ex and your children. Not friends bu any means but civil enough. No new partners to worry about. Wouldnt want to take them abroad on my own. Has anyone done this? How did it go?

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 18/07/2026 17:43

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 17:27

probably because we are not friends as such not any hostility just wouldn’t call us friends so might be a bit weird to suggest it

I think if you were friends, it could work, but as you're not, wouldn't it be weird and uncomfortable?

Can I ask how old your children are, and what are their needs that make it impossible to take them on your own? If you've taken them away in the UK before, what is it specifically that's worrying you about taking them abroad? Just wondering if that's something people can give you suggestions for? I've taken my son away on my own every year since he was three, but he's my only child so I appreciate it's easier than one adult and multiple children!

polkadotpig · 18/07/2026 17:50

I think you should. It's great to have a mature, balanced approach to your relationship as co-parents. There's no reason why it should be confusing for your children and they will enjoy having their mum and dad with them on holiday. Hope it works out and you all have a good break.

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 17:50

No no suggestions can help but thanks, I will not take them on my own, it will not be safe, the last time I took them away in the uk we had to come home early it would be miserable for everyone.

OP posts:
HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 18:41

polkadotpig · 18/07/2026 17:50

I think you should. It's great to have a mature, balanced approach to your relationship as co-parents. There's no reason why it should be confusing for your children and they will enjoy having their mum and dad with them on holiday. Hope it works out and you all have a good break.

Thanks, I don’t think it would be confusing are kids are older kids and know we wouldnt be getting back together

OP posts:
boohoo26 · 18/07/2026 18:44

Fundamentally depends on how your ex is gonna behave. I had mine over Christmas dinner the year we split up and he sat at the Christmas dinner table texting other women. Needless to say he nearly got the turkey baster up his arse. But he would’ve enjoyed that so I didn’t

Kvfihi · 18/07/2026 19:07

Personally no but his behaviour on holidays is part of the many reasons we are apart.
I would do days out with him as places like London he’d be a good extra paid of hands and we can be friendly without issue.
i’m also wondering what to do about abroad holidays and not feeling brave enough to do it alone

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 19:15

Yeah I don’t fancy going abroad alone, I don’t think it would be that enjoyable if im honest! Nothing like an extra pair of hands and I guess it would be company to talk to I’ve heard of mums going alone with their kids and having no one to talk to the whole time and feeling bored/ lonely

OP posts:
HappyOctober · 18/07/2026 19:18

I would definitely do this, as long as you can be purely polite to each other the whole time (ideally!). A good example of how people who split up can still make things work for the kids.

YesIveNamechanged80 · 18/07/2026 19:18

I’m doing a mini break with my ex, dd understands me and her dad are not together and it will make my dd happy if her dad is with her

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/07/2026 20:07

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 19:15

Yeah I don’t fancy going abroad alone, I don’t think it would be that enjoyable if im honest! Nothing like an extra pair of hands and I guess it would be company to talk to I’ve heard of mums going alone with their kids and having no one to talk to the whole time and feeling bored/ lonely

I didn’t ask their dad, but it would have worked ok because we were still friendly and can both put the kids first. We reconciled after a couple of years apart though, having really worked on the issues that split us up.

I did take the kids abroad on my own while separated and while I was nervous about it (two kids with complex needs), it actually worked really well. I used special assistance at the airport on both sides, which got us through security, passport control and to the gate really quickly. On resort we just set expectations really low - we looked for activities to do but if the kids needed a day in the room that was fine too, were really flexible about food (and ate in our room when needed).

I didn’t feel lonely because I had the kids, and chatted to other adults round the pool or the bar. Things that worked well was going to a small, self catering place with a restaurant on site so we could eat close to base, make easy meals in our room or go out for food depending on how we felt. Daily budget for drinks and snacks, and bought snacks for the room from the local supermarket.

What didn’t work at all was All Inclusive, it was too busy, the restaurants were too noisy and too much choice of food. My kids couldn’t choose something to eat because they were so over stimulated.

It’s scary to think about doing things on your own, but very liberating to manage it, even if everything doesn’t go like clockwork.

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 20:13

Yeah I know some parents manage it but all kids are different and theres no way I’d be able to do it

OP posts:
HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 20:13

YesIveNamechanged80 · 18/07/2026 19:18

I’m doing a mini break with my ex, dd understands me and her dad are not together and it will make my dd happy if her dad is with her

Thats nice, is it abroad?

OP posts:
YesIveNamechanged80 · 18/07/2026 20:44

@HoneyMonstersyes in Europe

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 21:02

Thanks. Thats given me an idea, I think I might suggest a weekend away in the uk first in a hotel to see how that goes, then go from there.

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MrWaldonsLeg · 18/07/2026 21:17

I think if he is amenable to the idea then I would think it could work well. You might even get a break whilst you are out there if you both share the childcare load. He would also get a break too.

I know a couple of people who are still on okay terms with their ex but a lot are not and would rather stick pins in their eyes.

If you can both put the children first because of their needs it might be a lovely thing to do.

SpottyPyjama · 18/07/2026 21:28

We did this a few times when kids were little. It was fine.

MrsKeats · 18/07/2026 21:29

I did and it was horrendous,
Think very carefully.

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 21:33

MrsKeats · 18/07/2026 21:29

I did and it was horrendous,
Think very carefully.

Oh really? Can I ask why? Did you not get on before going?

OP posts:
idontknow202 · 18/07/2026 21:37

I took my children away with my ex a lot, we did holidays abroad and UK. It was nice we could all share the nice memories. We didn't hang out together in the evenings once the children were in bed. My children have additional needs too and it made it more manageable. My youngest was 2 when we started and is now 12 and has never questioned it. But neither of us had partners. They talk fondly of nice holidays we all went on.

hahabahbag · 18/07/2026 21:37

Works for some not others, it’s really down to your circumstances and making sure you are both on the same page

UpDownAllAround1 · 18/07/2026 22:13

What happens if they say no?

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 22:22

That would be unfortunate but I actually think he might be up for it, especially as it would be the kids first holiday abroad

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 18/07/2026 22:46

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 17:27

probably because we are not friends as such not any hostility just wouldn’t call us friends so might be a bit weird to suggest it

So am I right in thinking you are mostly worried about it sounding weird to him when you suggest it?

I understand this if so. It wasn't an option for me and my ex for a while due to other issues I won't go into, but when I realised it was something that could work, I initially just suggested a couple of days out together. That worked really well, so it seemed natural then to suggest he (and his mom) accompanied us on our big family holiday. (My mom still gets on well with his mom, so that was a real positive too).

I think it's a good idea to start with a weekend away, see how that works. I know you say you aren't friends as such, but it there is no animosity, and you share kids together (the most precious things in both your lives, I am sure) then there is no reason why a friendship can't develop, to everyone's benefit.

Good luck! X

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 23:40

Yeah thanks, that’s exactly it, it’s more how to I even ask that. Weve done days out and stuff but not recently we use to do that more when they were little.

OP posts:
Shakesp · 18/07/2026 23:46

HoneyMonsters · 18/07/2026 16:58

Weve stay in a hotel for a weekend but like I said not the same and I wouldn’t want to go on holiday here Tbf either

So what about next year and the one after that etc etc.

It’s not a great idea. How old are the kids?

you mention a hotel? Where you all going to sleep. I could not entertain being in a hotel room with an ex!

Why don’t you try Centerparcs or something. At least you all have seperate rooms etc.

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