Where do you meet men nowadays?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m nearly 30 and at my wits end with the dating scene. I’ve had therapy to help me move on from a bad relationship. I’ve worked on myself.

I hate the dating apps. And to be truthful the men aren’t really even my type. The men I find more my type are probably down at the supermarket or petrol station!! Fitness is so important so I figured I’d join a gym (normally I’d only do my Pilates and yoga). But again who approaches anyone at the gym

I feel utterly helpless. Sometimes I just want a fling and call it a day but I can’t even get that right now either 😂

There's plenty of men here OP, turning up on threads to tell us all how we're doing things wrong...

In reality though, if you are into fitness, why not join a mixed sex team sport, or a hobby group.

Where men gather in big numbers.. bars, clubs, typically male hobbies, typically male interest groups.. I went to a comic con and a war show and both full of men ready to chat. I go to park runs, gym, I volunteer in a gardening thing and men everywhere.
I hate the apps so never to on them

I've been thinking the same thing. Been alone for coming up 10 years now, OLD is not for me.

I don't think, for me anyway, joining an activity where men may partake in, is something I could do if it's not something I'd enjoy.

I've been thinking maybe going to a coffee shop once a week and working on my laptop (and yes buying more than one coffee). I read someone coffee shops were a good place, but I don't know!! I don't have the opportunity to go to bars etc. Supermarkets don't seem the way to me, doubt I'd meet any eligible men there.

I'm in my 40's, look after myself and don't want to be alone forever, hoping not anyway, as it could be a long time!

I never see anyone at coffee shops chatting to people they don't know.

Join a gym like a CrossFit one where the social side is an important side of it if you like gyms. Also running clubs very social.

My single friends meet men on nights out in bars and clubs.

Second the idea of typically masculine hobbies. Shooting clays and/or target shooting is a heavily male dominated sport in which women compete on absolutely equal terms. It also provides useful and acute insight into the personality and background of other participants. Anyone with a licence is highly unlikely to have any criminal record which is good to know too.

Highly recommend.

Unfortunately they’re a certain type of men.

Join a foreign langauge class like Italian maybe

speed dating events in London?

If I were you I would do tennis lessons /tennis club, or golf or rowing - they all have socials attached

Running clubs. There are several couples in mine who met in the club. Parkrun also good especially if you volunteer. Or volunteer at events where there are a lot of men e.g. runthrough are always looking.

Oof that’s a good shout I’m gonna look for that😂 no idea where I’d find the time but you know. Needs must

Ok but I look like shit when I’m running. I don’t do my hair and makeup for that

@ThePerkyCoralPoet Yeah they are a certain type of men a lot of the time but you said sometimes you just want a fling.

Tinder is my go to for flings but even that’s not working for me😂😂

I'd like to know too but am a decade older than you. No one I know goes out drinking or clubbing on a Saturday night.

The problem with doing something like joining an Italian class is that by the end of the first class you've met all the men - and what if theres only three of them and they're all rubbish? Not like different ones will be turning up on weeks 2, 3, 4...

I have a full and active social life - go to gigs, theatre, one off art classes, galleries, film festivals, dinner with friends... Never meet anyone. Ever. Only ONE man I've met in real life has asked me out and turns out he was a dickhead.

I've thought about singles events but have been told it's the absolute dregs.

Meet ups I've been told tend to be full of weirdos.

Given you're only 30, are your friends out on a Saturday night? Might be the best way and definitely worth trying.

I mean, do people really 'meet' at parkrun and similar? Approach people? I just don't find it happens.

I'm similarly depressed with it all op!

I sometimes ask partners of friends if they have any nice friends and they always say no....

Which makes it perfect . If someone fancies you when you're your natural self. Could be a great way to start a relationship?

I see what you did there 😂 ...

I've volunteered before and everyone is pretty chatty who stewards. Also if you stay behind after lots of people go for a coffee. You obviously have to put yourself out there but worth a try and you either get a run or help out so nothing to lose

Get yourself down the pub

I would just focus on the things you want to do and achieve, by all means get out there and mingle but don't start going to crossfit or anything unless you are really interested in doing it for its own sake.

I know people are mentioning park run and running clubs but a friend of mine runs and moans about people who join his group looking for romantic opportunities. I think if running or whatever it is is your main focus then its probably fine.

Unfortunately with the huge success or dominance of online dating it seems to have made looking for partners in other places a bit less acceptable somehow. One possible way to meet someone is perhaps to ask guys your own age you are friends with or at work as they might have a brother or cousin or mate who is a bit shy or a bit of a late bloomer but is essentially a good guy but hasn't been snapped up yet. My closest male friend still has a couple of single guy friends he's known since school who are really nice and I'd date them if I were single.

My 30 year old ds is single, he refuses to do dating apps now (tried it and hated it). He has joined a martial arts club, a young person's walking group, and volunteers at a nature reserve. He goes on weekends away and holidays with friends or on his own.

I’m not sure about types… I went out with plenty of bad boys who I met on my usual social scene. I was done with them!

Went to a party in a different part of the city & met my DH. Never did OLD, I can imagine… But try a different patch?