Where do you meet men nowadays?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m nearly 30 and at my wits end with the dating scene. I’ve had therapy to help me move on from a bad relationship. I’ve worked on myself.

I hate the dating apps. And to be truthful the men aren’t really even my type. The men I find more my type are probably down at the supermarket or petrol station!! Fitness is so important so I figured I’d join a gym (normally I’d only do my Pilates and yoga). But again who approaches anyone at the gym

I feel utterly helpless. Sometimes I just want a fling and call it a day but I can’t even get that right now either 😂

6pmWaitrose on Friday, pizza, bag salad, 4x beers, you can’t miss ‘em

I have a work colleague who is just 30 and has zero difficulty meeting men. She goes to Muy Thai/ Other martial arts type of places.

She also “does” demure /is always made up, and makes eye contact. She is ‘open’ to being asked out. If anything needs doing, she always looks for a man to ‘help’/use.
I’m going to be honest and say the men she attracts would not be for me at all.

But giving off “sexual” does get dates.

pub, parkrun, shooting club, karate class, cycling club

I think a lot of people meet their partners at or through their work. You're still young OP. What do you do for a living?

I think the general message that i've had from this thread is that you basically have to go where men go, and then socialise.

My sister joined a motorcycling group lol at 50 and met someone there. I'm not saying do that I'm just saying go where men are.

Even when you find them, a higher % than ever are just shunning relationships with women though!!
And I don’t mean the weird anti-women basement guys…
Just regular men with good careers and friends and hobbies etc. They’re not anti-women per se and they will have sex. But they just don’t see the attraction of relationships and marriage and so refuse to get drawn into anything more than casual weekend dating if they’re free. They don’t really want kids badly enough and they definitely don’t seem to want a woman getting enmeshed within their finances or housing etc. They’re just happy with life and independent and don’t get lonely like a lot of women do so don’t see a reason to change.

OP, I can see why it’s tough out there for you!
Good luck though, I’m sure there’s got to be someone out there for you.

This happened to me.
The guy looked me up on my work webpages based on what I had said.
I changed coffee shop.

its being in the right place at the right time too. Some of my beautiful friends are single and I’m like. How!! But again they give off sexy vibes and struggle too

my advice Op - which worked for me years ago - is that rather than focus on meeting a 'man' i decided to focus on making as many news friends as I could.

I went out a lot, went to new places - festivals/ clubs/ music gigis/ went for drinks with work people/ asked people to invite me to things they were doing - just generally widened my social circle.

Where are these men?! I want one.

All the men I've dated recently definitely want a traditional relationship.

I think it's normal for a lot of men just to be single forever now.

I work in hospitality and nearly all the chefs who work in the restaurant are all single. They work hard all year and go to Thailand and Dominican Republic in the winter for their "female attention"

Try this maybe. Not sure it would work these days!

BBC News - Coventry couple recall how random text ended in happily ever after - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c77rvx4jn4go

Are they from there?
Or do you mean they are sex tourists going for the underage?

They are English fellas.

They go to meet women from tinder

Something I have noticed with my kids, their friends and kids of my friends/family is that they are sticking with and getting serious with boyfriends/girlfriends they met at school or college - often their first one too.

I don't know if it's just the ones I know or if it's a trend based on the way dating has changed.
When I was young we chopped & changed a lot in our teens and twenties before settling down. But it was easy to meet people back then I suppose, people weren't scared of approaching each other in real life.

How old are they now? Without exception everyone I've ever known that has had a long term relationship with someone from college/uni breaks up in their late 20s (if they made it that far). Like they suddenly get a 'shit let me see what I've been missing' panic.

Young people are more socially anxious than we were growing up in the 90s. Less social drinking as well and more sitting at home with their heads buried in a smart phone.

There's less "playing the field "

Work.

If fitness is important, join a running club, tennis club, mixed cycling group, or find a bootcamp that has a mixed crowd including some men of your age. Or take up weight lifting at the gym and start chatting casually with the male weightlifters about form and technique. People are usually quite friendly and helpful about things like this.

I am happily married but have recently been in environments where people have met and fallen in love, or easily could. Activity holidays would be a good call - a surfing or diving holiday, a hiking/trekking adventure holiday, a summer-school or residential workshop - woodworking, painting or screenwriting attract lots of men. I've seen loads of romances blossom and last in these sorts of environments.

One of my friends joined a largely male industry (at least 70/30 M to F balance), unlike I, who works in a very female orientated industry.

Whilst she's had two relationships in over 20 years, both of whom she met in work and who were divorced, sadly neither lasted. Seems, to her, most of the decent men are married/in relationships.

I think being smiley and having open approachable body language helps.

Tiktok and instagram instead of apps dating.

Board game clubs
Role playing adventure clubs

" where do you meet men these days? "

I've heard the majority are found at a bar, in hades.

How did you know he looked you up?