Where do you meet men nowadays?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m nearly 30 and at my wits end with the dating scene. I’ve had therapy to help me move on from a bad relationship. I’ve worked on myself.

I hate the dating apps. And to be truthful the men aren’t really even my type. The men I find more my type are probably down at the supermarket or petrol station!! Fitness is so important so I figured I’d join a gym (normally I’d only do my Pilates and yoga). But again who approaches anyone at the gym

I feel utterly helpless. Sometimes I just want a fling and call it a day but I can’t even get that right now either 😂

He told me
I said something one time when we were talking, and he said yes, I know, I found your webpage.
(edited to add - it was clear from what he then said that he had indeed found and read my webpage)
We had maybe spoken a couple of times before that, he started the conversation.

The pubs are empty!

I ve signed up to 4 Italian lessons and all have been cancelled as I was the only pupil
its a nightmare being single in cornwalll

There's no point smiling to yourself in your own living room!

You're only 29 - there are plenty of single men in your age group.

I'm 35 and the dating pool is mostly dog shit because the good men have mostly been snapped up. I use OLD because my hobbies are female centric or solo activities (barre, pilates, running).

I occasionally meet men at raves which leads to a fling, but raves are no good for meeting someone who is boyfriend material really, as most of the men there are under 30 and not looking for anything serious.

I don't have any advice other than don't stress - it should be easy to meet someone suitable at your age.

Sports clubs really do work - if you genuinely like the sport. Bear in mind if you do meet someone there, the sport will probably remain part of your life, so make it one you actually enjoy, at least in some form.

Volunteering. Again make it something you genuinely care about.

Work. Get a Saturday job??

In all these situations I'd give it two years or so.

Tbh I've met people via online and phone dating since 1994 so to me it's normal. I do hear that the apps are pretty bad these days, I last used then in 2020.

I love a language course but I find the demographics are mainly women or coupled up men, mainly older retired people...running clubs have more younger men though some will invariably be taken.

Obviously when you sre out, you could meet someone anywhere ! Being out with a resting bitch face won't help.

Language classes are heavily female dominated generally, unless you go for a language like German or Russian - and most men in language classes are partnered to speakers of that language in my experience.

Running clubs and Strava you can message on it now apparently.

Ref 3678194b and Disturbia81. I don’t know what kind of a man you are looking for. But perhaps you should stop stereo typing. If your in you 40’s consider an older man say in his 60’s. He could well be set up with his own house have no kids and may have money to spend. Don’t think about being his nurse maid if he’s ill, it may never happen. I would love a girl friend of your age. But at my age I just get passed by as a geriatric fool. Well I have news for you I’m not, I’m reasonable fit doing yoga and Pilates. I have my own house paid for, own two cars, can afford a couple of holidays a year. Tell me how many 40 somethings have that.
I’m a young 73 year old with two girl friends in their mid sixties and yes we have enjoyable sex.

Yes agree. Have done an Italian course and a course in Russian in the past. Thr men there had partners native to those languages and were learning for that reason.

Probably why running clubs and tennis clubs are the go-to. It's one place but you can mix with different people each time.

Vs. a three month pre paid course which on day one you find out 4/5 men are not single and the fifth one is gay. 😂 🤷🏼‍♀️

At least the "tell us about yourselves and why you'd like to learn this language" ice breaker cuts to the point...😭🤣😭🤣

😂 OP mid sentence when the hot guy starts with 'Studiando italiano perche mia moglie...'

What's wrong with looking for a woman your age? Sounds to me like you're the one stereotyping. I bet you think a 73 year-old woman would be 'too old' for you.

And I'm sorry, but plenty of men in their 40s have a home, a car and can afford a couple of holidays a year. Women don't need to date men 3 decades older to find that.

Dear Crushed23, both my girl friends are in their late 60’s and I regularly chat with ladies in their mid 70’s. You are missing my point. If a lady in her 40’s is finding it difficult to find a partner then why not consider an older man. You point about many 40 year old men could be valid. But I know men in their 40’s who have mortgages in the 100000. And they need working wife’s to help with the finances, otherwise life would be tough.

Because those women are no attracted to men 30 years older perhaps?

Women are allowed to be as discriminatory as they want when it comes to dating. Sexual preferences can't be policed.

I don't think a man having a mortgage is offputting - most women in their 40s want to continue their careers when in a relationship and are not looking for a sugar daddy.

I can speak for myself as a 35 year-old single woman. My age criteria is 28 to 42 and I am not in any way put off by a man who has a mortgage.

Met mine at running club

@DreamyPeachReader do your girlfriends know of each other? What's the set up how come you have two? I'm curious..you can DM me if you like.

Because most women want men their own age, you know, the normal way. It's men who date younger who have the weird mindset

Start talking to people. I was at a train station and sat next to a guy and smiled and started chatting. He asked me out but I’m married. People don’t talk like that now so if you do will stand out. Tennis is v v social as is cycling and lots of men. You will have to be proactive though if you don’t want to use the apps as it seems it’s all online these days

M and S
I bumped into the most gorgeous guy there, soo handsome and we kept bumping into each other in the isles
I was too shy
But just smiled 😁😁😁

I think supermarkets are always good, just make eye contact

ChicagoPizzaDinner, how do I DM you. The answer to your question is no they don’t. We met on a dating site.

One DD met her partner in work and the other DD met her boyfriend at her hobby.

I think pub events are OK provided there's a non-alcohol focus - like a pub quiz or a local band playing. That way you get people who are enthusiasts/hobbyists rather than just shitfaced, creepy men.

Work 😂😂😂

Honestly though if you have an in-person job, maybe one that involves meeting clients face to face, you do meet lots of men.

Gym/ exercise, but a setting that’s more of a social club. So either join a gym where people hang around before and after, or another sports club with a social element. Think back to uni - every sports club was more of a social club wasn’t it? These things still exist for adults.

Say yes to events. Birthday parties, leaving drinks, work nights out, even things that seem du - they get you out of the house and mixing with different people.

Generally - leave the house. Go walking around where you are, town/ city centres, book events, talks…

Just have an active social life and hang out in the kinds of places where your ideal man in your head would hang out.

Taking a laptop out to work isn’t a bad shout, just, again, choose particular kinds of places, eg not too busy with with super high turnover, more places where people linger longer.

Spring is coming… look fab, put your shades on, bounce up your hair and dare not to be chatted up. Oh and most importantly… make eye contact, be approachable and smiley, don’t shy away from casual chatter with pretty much anyone