Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

[idontknkowwhyibother]

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

Why?

Thank you. If I ever have a wobble and feel like I want to break my current celibacy, I'll come back and read this.

I think that's the worst thing I've ever read.

I hope you left? Called the police 😂

Sorry quoted the wrong one..

Oh I dunno, the one you did quote was stomach churning!

@Vegemiteandhoneyontoast I mean, I quoted someone else quoting.. it's all a lot of quoting.
Either way. Disgusting.

I think I’ve just thrown up into my mouth 🤢

Honestly threads like this one have me howling with laughter but also make me want to stay single forever.

Honestly at 58 I don’t think I can deal with men’s shit anymore. I’d rather go out and have holidays with my mates and use my rabbit. Far less drama

And to price myself right I’ve just had a quick scroll through Bumble and I’ve bloke has a photo taking a piss in a urinal - from behind so no penis shot but just why?

@PumaKinPie Not all men, but WTF is wrong with men!

You are the winner. Hands down. Maybe not a prize you ever wanted, but gold medal for these

I don't date anymore.

No, it's not all men but there's some horrible stories about some men and you really don't know till it's too late. I don't want to wade through these experiences to try to find someone.

I struggle to trust that someone is who they present themselves to be now. I think I'll ask to remove that post. It's not the light hearted story the thread was set up for.

@PumaKinPie OMFG you should write a book about these freaks! I'll contribute! 🤣🤣🙃 X

A few months in with one of these blokes, he called me to the bedroom. When I went in he was naked and in the 'cervical smear' position. He held out for a spray bottle and asked me to spray his piles and push them back in…

This is the best! I don’t think I would be able to stop laughing 🤦🏼‍♀️
Please, never let this thread end…

Not me, my sister. Out on a first date, really good looking guy and they’re getting on well. They decide to take it to another level, only once he ejaculated, he panicked and started to lick the semen back out as he confessed he was married and frightened of getting her pregnant. Needless to say, she learned a few lessons on that date. She got an std test and has decided to stay single for a bit.

Hahaha our dad does that sometimes, which from him, is very sweet 😂

I went on a date with a guy that I met online. He proceeded to keep telling me about his ex girlfriend who was the girl of his dreams and that he "didn't mean to do it." He was also very paranoid about his money and said he didn't trust banks, and he carried his money with him everywhere. So I finally decided to bite.

Apparently he just got out of jail for man slaughter, for finding his ex sleeping with another man in his house. I finished the dinner and politely left, never to see him again. Lol

Reading some of these horror stories, I think I got off pretty lightly!

I was only OLD for about 3 months before luckily meeting my now DP.
But even in that short time I managed to find a couple of gems. Bear in mind I was in my early 50’s when these took place.

Mr ‘I’ll put a photo up from a few years ago’ (helpfully dated in the corner!)
His ex was. angry about his affair and wouldn’t let him see his kids so he’d ‘just left it’.

Met one for a walk in a park. I was wearing jeans. He had on a shirt, tie and blazer. He was a chauffeur but dressed like that on his days off. I was waiting to be called m’lady!

A guy who passed the initial filters so we had a chat on the phone. Was going well until we started discussing current affairs. A high profile prolific sexual predator was in the news- think Harvey Weinstein/ R Kelly. He said that he thought that the guy should be given a chance as maybe these women were exaggerating. WTF.

This thread is gold! Totally cheered up my week.

My OLD sent me a picture of a huge, ugly scab on his nose that he'd acquired after sniffing poppers all weekend.

😱😱😱😱

@TheRozzers dear god I hope you swiped past that one 🤢🤢

Err I didn't pick him.. in olden times on match.com people used to "wink" at you - that's what I meant. Not that I selected him 😵

Atleast he saved you the job of wiping it off yourself 😂

Seriously though... wow, these freaks walk amongst us 😕

Haha must be you. You've now got mr big o 😀

😂

Absolutely howling!!! 😆😆😆

He brought a gram of coke along to the first date which should have been a red flag but I believe his explanation that he needed it to stay awake. I dated him for 2 years and things didn't improve.

My self-esteem is better now thankfully.