Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

[idontknkowwhyibother]

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

Only small but gave me the ick, ordered food and drink at the pub I was stood next to him when he got his batman wallet out felt like I was dating my teenage son. Yuk instant ick.

Oh my word, are you ok? That must have felt really surreal and scary x

Luckily I wasn't it contact with him for long.
It's scary because you never know who you are speaking to. It was a few years ago but it put me right off online dating

This would have probably been nerves. I have quite a high tolerance for weird quotations and expressions as I assume the other person is nervous or ND, or just trying to be silly. My partner does this a lot, I think some of them go over the heads of most ppl and they don’t realise they’re being ironic or quoting something they haven’t seen. It can be a bit awkward when the recipient looks horrified/startled, but growing up with an older brother I’ve seen a wide range of film and tv that a lot of guys have also watched so I’m more able to spot it I think, rather than assume that’s how they normally speak, or that they’re slightly disturbed.

Be grateful he put you off calling you ‘babe’.
It is so easy to dissemble though - a friend met up with one man who - after he’d got what he was after - was proud to tell her about how he preferred ENFP types like her as they usually got him to bed quicker, but he had completely different profiles on different dating sites specifically to attract different types.
Lovely guy….

I’m with you

Yes you sound just like someone with an ethnically diverse friendship group. Right on.

yes very much so, whereas a lot of woke people that push all this stuff, don’t

What ‘woke people who push this stuff’? And if we’re living in the present as you advocate, what has your family immigrating in the 1930s got to do with anything?

Yes dear

I don’t paint myself as a victim because of negative things that happened to my ancestors- that was my entire point. Many people have been victims in multiple ways. Unfortunately the pushing of this false premise of “white privilege” has created the false notion that colour of skin makes you an immediate victim. It’s not the case. My entire life I’ve grown up in a society that pushes for minorities to be held in higher esteem.

What nonsense. I’m a white Irish woman who lived in England for 30 years. I did absolutely experience prejudice at times as an Irish person, but that prejudice required hearing my accent, or registering other evidence of my nationality because visually, I was just another white woman — I wasn’t, for instance, subject to arbitrary stop and searches because of my race, and thus did of course benefit from white privilege. Recognising that white people can also be poor and underprivileged in other ways doesn’t mean that white privilege is a ‘false premise’. Why would it? It simply means they are not dealing with institutional and other prejudice on account of their race. It really isn’t difficult.

Not sure if you’ve been sleeping under a rock, but the white privilege narrative is a political agenda usually pushed by groups with other agendas, like Black Lives Matter. Hence why it’s freely thrown around (like on this thread) as though it’s not entirely racist at heart.

Hmmm the tone of this thread is now starting to give me the ick

I very much felt the same reading the arrogant and racist message that kicked this off “all the confidence of an average white man”

Yep let’s get back on topic and ignore the derail

Also you might want to reassess your user name

You clearly didn’t come over when my grandparents did, that was a different time, much the same as we don’t live in the age of slavery or an age where black people don’t have the same rights as white people. Do you not know that signs were up banning Irish people from entering premises, that they couldn’t get decent work/ a mortgage etc? Also, The police have the right to stop and search anyone in the cause of criminal investigation. It is a matter of opinion whether they unfairly target people.

Ah typical mumsnet

Absolutely stellar thread derailed by some utterly nonsense. Can mods delete this stuff for us or do we just have to ignore it?

Agree

Disturbia was the one who derailed the thread with her comment

Disturbia81 · Yesterday 18:11
A very apt quote: "I wish I had the confidence of an incredibly average white man"

some people can’t help themselves and have to bring their white hatred in wherever they are and whatever they are doing. That’s the definition of racism, maligning someone on the basis of their race, attributing negative characteristics on the basis of race, stereotyping, it’s to do with ignorance and malice. I could give you an example, “with all the laziness of the average black man” would that be racist or just a little giggle between mumsnetters, you decide.

Try not being racist on a public forum, and the thread won’t get derailed.

Aw, shit. Just came back to this wonderful thread to find randoms arguing with each other. Talk about spoiling the mood.

I won’t say any more about it now, I hate racism in any form, I hate seeing mockery of white people, like it’s just a free for all. People should think harder about this stuff and treat all people equally. What you wouldn’t say to someone of colour, don’t say the equivalent about a white person. As I said I won’t comment further.

100% 👏👏👏👏

Don't lets get baited into continuing the egotistical derail