Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

[idontknkowwhyibother]

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

This was a friend not me.

She met a man through OLD during the Covid restrictions so there wasn’t many places to go. She lives on the coast so they decided to walk along the seafront and as it got a big cold they got chips and sat in the front of his car eating and chatting.
She thought it was going well until he turned and said ‘shall we go somewhere quieter so I can unleash my beast’ and growled

She said she’d never wanted to get out of a car do quickly

Omg this thread! 🤢😂

Once had a really sweet date with a guy. We went back to our seperate homes and then he texted me about how he’d had a massive wank in the toilet thinking about me once he got back.

I had an other friend who said the guy offered to take her out and they should meet on this bench near the station. They met there and turned out he thought they should just have their date there. Brought his own flask, sanwdic and everything. She had nothing to eat or drink.

Omg I had that once! Had a really nice date ended with a kiss and I was definitely up for a second date.

Until he sent me a text from the train home telling me he was looking forward to getting home and having a wank thinking about my fantastic tits. - he was 55 years old ff

I'm going to really enjoy this thread. OMG online dating is absolutely nuts sometimes.
I was mid first date, had stupidly went for dinner. Quite near the beginning of the meal the family next to us all stopped and sang happy birthday to their child, staff brought out cake etc and took photos of everyone at their table (parents, siblings, grandparents). When the waiter was passing our table after dealing with birthday group my date suddenly pounced on him with his phone task if he'd take a photo of us sitting at the table together 🙈 id only met him about half hour before. I was horrified and politely ushered the waiter away.🤣🤣🤣 He was weird in other ways during the date so needless to say there was no date 2.

This is something my husband would do on a date 😂😂

Many years ago I went on a blind date set up by a colleague, obviously didn’t have high hopes but gave it a shot. When I arrived he was already sitting down and was actually quite attractive. The conversation was going well and we had an okay time (bar the odd comment about his ex being a psycho, which I know is a red flag).

At the end of the evening he offered to walk me to my car, we stood up and he pulled on his coat: a calf length, white, puffy insulated jacket with horizontal stitching. He zipped it all the way up and all I could think was that he looked like a giant maggot. As he was walking he had to shuffle his legs a bit inside the coat because it was so long and quite tight, so he waddled a bit as he walked, I don’t know how I managed not to laugh but it really gave me such a massive ick walking alongside the big shuffly maggot man

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These are making me howl - unleash the beast 🤣🤣

So many...

The ones that come to mind straight away (not all the same guy but all in the last year):

• He told me he was bisexual and enjoyed naked wrestling with men

• He tried to turn the date into a therapy session by asking me probing questions about my last relationship

• He no so much dirty 'talked' as dirty 'shouted' in bed (at the top of his voice)

• He was late to the first date and even later to the second date with a half-arsed apology each time

• He wore loafers with no socks

• He was a foot shorter than he said he was in his profile

• He spent the entire date complaining about his luck with women and how 'shallow' he thought women were

• He talked non-stop

• He kept sending me selfies

• He looked really old (profile photos were at least 10 years out of date)

• He had bad breath

I went on a first date with a guy who seemed nice enough online but he was quite smooth and sleazy. When we sat down at the bar he held my
hand straight away (by this point we’d been in each others presence about ten mins) and just generally was a bit over familiar. As we said goodbye at the end of the date he went to kiss me and I turned so he just got my cheek. He didn’t get the hint though and whispered “I wish we had some chance for some alone time tonight” and I was like “Oo no, not on a first date!” and he said “I just meant for some cuddles, I’m not saying I would’ve tried to finger blast you or anything!”

Ultimate ick!

The promised “ lunch out” turned out to be a Sainsbury’s meal deal eaten sitting on a park bench.

Oh god. I might be seeing this one at the moment. I’ve overlooked it so far, but now you mention it… ick… 😂

Sex talk in the first few messages when you've never even met and so don't know if there's even any chemistry.

That made me laugh. I used to know a man who was seriously thinking of getting a batman tattoo on his chest.

His poor, poor wife. She was an attractive woman and was massively out of his league. Didn't stop him from opening up their marriage though.

I once went on a date
We'd been chatting online and he seemed a lovely bloke
On the date-i think he said two words the whole time
He was mute

Another told me 'I'm going to fuck your brains out' ten minutes after meeting
(I climbed out if the ladies loo window)

Another ghosted me after a lovely first date
Got back in touch with his smooth patter a few months later but was told to fuck off

Another-we where chatting away and he seemed a nice fella
Suddenly he just ghosted me-i met my now dp about this time so didn't give it much thought
About 2 years later,the bloke got in touch via fb
He'd met another lady around the time we where chatting (fair enough) and she'd dumped him
He'd got back in touch with me (and god knows how many others) for a pity shag and was very angry I refused to provide one

Another one chatted the whole time about his job-he fitted bathroom fans
I had zero interest in bathroom fans but now know a lot more about them than I care to admit

I hate that. It’s an instant delete for me once they start the sex talk before you even meet.

And what’s worse is most of them are terrible at it. It’s cheesy teenage stuff and not at all sexy.

Loafers with no socks? That reminds me of a line from this brilliant song, which is now a hipster classic in my view and should be in the internet cultural hall of fame.

I went on a date a couple of years ago and he turned up wearing a vest, West Ham shorts and flip flops. I felt overdressed in a maxi dress 🤣🤣

OMG some of these.. jesus.

I often think of this story https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

Everything was going well... few dates .. lots of drinks , laughs etc. the 'fun' was had .... whilst in the throes he asked me what my favourite colour was........

Restaurant date.
Insisted on separate bills from the off.
No...

Date with a guy (30ish) who talked about his mother an awful lot, and had photos on his phone of her from when she had modelled swimwear...

Another tried the least convincing generic American accent, on the basis that he had spent a summer in the States when younger. He sounded about as American as Dick Van Dyke sounded cockney.

I matched with a guy online & we had a second chat on the phone. Mid chat he suddenly, out of nowhere, blurted out ‘I want to come on your face’. So that ended sharply.

Another took me for dinner and when he got out his glasses case it was so old manly (Tan pleather) - massive ick. Later found out he wasn’t 48 but 58 (thanks companies house).

Jesus I almost hurled my dinner back up

I’m getting flashbacks that id forgotten about reading these 🤣🤣

I was chatting on the phone to a guy planning a date for that weekend then out of nowhere he said ‘are you flicking your bean right now?’

I hung up