Husband taking photos of me when I’m asleep!

[Par1sappartment]

Happened let me use his phone to take a landscape photo when we were out and about. He walked on and I thought I would have a look at the photos he had taken of us on holiday. Before I reached them however, I saw two pics, horrendous looking ones of me vulnerable and asleep with my mouth wide open. AIBU? Don’t think he should have done that as I feel he’s invaded my privacy.
Didn’t let on I’d seen them but sent them by email to myself then deleted them from his phone. What on earth was he going to do with them and why had he taken them?
Tonight, he nodded off beside me on the couch, so I held up my iPad and focussed it on his face but didn’t snap him. He opened his eyes and said, “Oh did you take my photo then?” I said, “No, I was just adjusting iPad and anyway it wouldn’t be right to take your photo without your permission while you were asleep would it?”
And he said, “Quite!”

Good god, his own personal reasons? What?

Are you comfortable staying with this strange man?? I mean seriously?

If he did it as a joke, he would have at least told you about it. The fact he just took photos of you in a vulnerable state and just kept them on his phone is creepy AF.

@Blueberrymuffin8 No, I don’t trust him and with good reason. He’s done and said some strange things over the years and has always been very secretive. This is just something else, if it was an isolated incident I probably wouldn’t give it much thought at all.

Oh good god some of the replies here like wtf straight to divorce option. How about he did it by accident might have been fiddling with phone next to her in bed and took pic instead I have taken accidental pics big fingers and all. Or what about he maybe drunk on holiday did it or it’s just a pic of you asleep it’s cute maybe he just loves you. It’s not like you are naked etc and besides which what’s the big deal

ah and here comes the drip feed

This is a bit weird - but also curious as to what else he’s done now!

@Blueberrymuffin8 No I’m not purposefully drip feeding. It would be too outing to go into any background details.

you kinda might have too otherwise you will continue to get the bemusement of others on here.

phallus!!! 😂🤣

If I found these on my DH’s phone I’d assume he took them to show me and for us to laugh together. But you don’t seem to find it funny at all so who knows why he took them!

🤣

I had a boyfriend who did this once and showed me a few days later. It wasn’t an attractive photo and he thought it was funny. He would occasionally bring the photo up on his phone and laugh or send it to me even though he knew I didn’t like it or find it funny. He wasn’t a very mature or empathetic man.

Unless someone utterly adores you and thinks you look like a sweet angel even when you’re snoring, I don’t know what good purpose they would have for taking and keeping an unattractive sleeping photo

I definitely wouldn’t be happy with that, then. I’d want to know what he intended to do with them. If he wanted to keep them for himself, why? To look at them and sneer to himself? To throw them at you later? Weird behaviour.

I was hoping it was something benign. When it comes to his family my dad has the worst case of love blindness you’ve ever seen. He could see one of us out cold, spread-eagled, twitching, snoring, mouth agape with drool trickling out and genuinely think that it is adorable. He doesn’t see anything unflattering about it, he just thinks “Aw look how cute and tired they are!” It has led to some moderately horrifying pictures that had to be destroyed with extreme prejudice over the years.

Yours sounds like a bit of a wanker though. Sorry OP. 😕

I'm invested now op I need to know what other strange things he's said and done !!

Ask him to delete them. Make it clear it's a) not funny b) invasive of your privacy.

Then insist no phones in the bedroom.

It would really piss me off tbh. He's supposed to be on your side, so whom is he sharing this joke with? Dc? If its funny, why aren't you included?

I agree with you.

The oddest thing is that he wholeheartedly agreed with me that it is an awful thing to do to someone, but didn’t admit to doing it himself!

Well obviously he's not going to admit doing it himself!

I can't believe someone on this thread has compared this to Gisèle Pélicot, that's an absolutely fucking wild overreaction even for Mumsnet.

This is so weird! I wouldn’t think twice if I found photos of me sleeping on DH’s phone. He’s taken a photo of me sleeping before, because he thought it was cute. I have of him, too! I also thought it was cute. We trust each other - it wouldn’t even cross my mind to think that he would do something dodgy with them. I can’t even think of anything dodgy you could do with a sleepy photo? Why is Mumsnet always so hilariously dramatic? 😂

Awful thing to do.
But he has form?
I would not feel safe around him from what you describe.
Be careful OP.

I personally think this is such an overreaction. In a healthy relationship surely you’d just assume he’d taken it because you looked goofy, and he had planned to show you later on so you can laugh together? It’s immature yes but part of marriage is being able to be a bit immature together. Chances are he just forgot about taking it. If you aren’t comfortable with it, then just tell him? I honestly think this is such a non question. If you can’t tell your husband you don’t like him taking pictures of you asleep with your mouth open, then why are you with him?! But having read your previous replies, you won’t share any more information regarding your husband and why you don’t trust him so I’m not sure what you want people to say really.

The reply comparing it to Gisèle is so insulting. I’m stunned, even by Mumsnet standards!