Anyone been in a situation like this? Missing person

[imuseless]

My son (early 20s, ASD) has been missing since May 1st in a different Country. UK police are involved and they got the police in the other Country involved and also interpol. Police there have been checking hospitals, police stations, homeless shelters, john does.. Police here in the UK have been checking ferries, flights etc, trying to see if he has re entered the UK or gone on to another Country etc.

His phone has been off since May 2nd, Zero posts on social media, no reply to any messages, voice mails or anything else, He didn't contact me to wish me a happy birthday a few weeks ago which is when I knew for sure something was wrong, Not even sure if his phone is off, dead, stolen or if he's taken his sim card out. Nobody in our family and none of his friends have seen or heard from him in any way what so ever. Because of the ASD he is the type of person that messages me constantly throughout the day (and tells me absolutely everything if I want to know or not!), All day every day 'Mum I'm awake now, I'm going to do such a thing now' etc so I know something bad has happened. There is no way he would ever go this long without contacting someone, He wouldn't even go one hour.

I'm preparing to fly out, I'm not sure if that is even a good idea or if I should stay here in case he makes it home. Not even sure where in the other Country he is, would only be guessing on my part. We have no connection to the other Country at all, No family there, no friends, never been before etc.

Nobody even knew he had left, nobody knew he was going in the first place. First I knew he had left the Country was the one post he made saying he had arrived with a selfie then nothing at all since.

He is ASD and would be classed as very vunerable and very easily led, If you were to tell him there is a tunnel at the end of your garden that takes you to Spain he would believe you and ask if he could go to Spain with you.. All the things that would be obvious to me like going into a police station, a hospital, a library, try to find an internet cafe to ask for help etc he wouldn't think to do..

Not slept for days, not eaten for days, can't think straight, my mind keeps wandering to all sorts of bad things, I can't think of a single good reason he wouldn't have been in contact in some way by now, I feel absolutely useless, unsettled and have a constant horrible feeling in my stomach that won't go away, I'm literally waiting for my phone to ring with some news, good or bad. I have no idea what to do. Anyone else have experience with a missing person? Did it turn out ok?

Not sure if I'm looking for advice or if I just need to get this all down out of my head.

OP was referring to her son’s home he left behind to go to Poland, not a home he ventured to in Poland.

This sounds like a complete nightmare. Has he shown any interest in the war in Ukraine op? Just wondered if he's gone to help as a volunteer or to sign up to fight for Ukraine. Sorry to have to suggest that but if you do launch an Internet appeal it might be worth expanding your search to Ukraine.

Hi OP, I’m Polish and from your mention of the old town - did he go to Krakow? It’s a party city, maybe he just got ‘sucked in’, it’s usually pretty safe…

If you want the Polish police involved I would strongly suggest you fly out to Poland and talk to them in person. There’s CCTV everywhere, they just need to do their job.

If you need help with translation - PM me.

Op I've tried to PM you but can't. I don't know if your son has any interest in comicon type things etc but I have family friends who's kids regularly go to Poland for those. A lot of them are on the spectrum and are your son's age. I could get you in touch with them. They're a very close knit community and could post about it on discord etc.

Stop derailing the thread. You have been quoted as you completely misinterpreted what OP stated.

I’m not sure this is helping the OP.

Have the police given any direction to you Op as to whether to stay home or go to Poland ?

I am another that thinks fb is a really good idea.

When you get there what about local media too

To add to my post - if it’s Krakow, I’d go and check the hostels around the Old Town and Kazimierz, it’s all really close so it would take you a day to go to them and ask.

Also, people should stop derailing this thread. Actual usual information will be buried under some nonsense. There have been many suggestions to post on FB, if that is all you have to say - DON’T.

OP, I sometimes view the Reddit thread for English speakers on Germany and there are often such requests there about missing people or missing objects (i.e. lost property). It gets a very wide reach and some of the people on there are super sleuths. It might be worth trying to see if there is something similar for Poland or if someone here can advise better (I am not so up on these things)?

One thing that did cross my mind is... do you think it might be an ill-advised attempt to go and fight for the Ukrainians? If so, I would not worry, as their military certainly does not let ill-qualified people just go to the front. But might be worth considering?

The fortunate thing (!) about Brexit is that, because we are out the EU, the Poles would need to record if he LEFT the EU from their territory. So they would have a record if he went to any non-EU country - although not, I presume, if he were to move on to Germany or another Schengen country (I know the two are not the exact same, EU & Schengen, but I forget the travel technicalities and I hope you know what I mean).

Keep active and make sure you are getting lots of support for yourself. Hand hold and hug. xxx

"All the things that would be obvious to me like going into a police station, a hospital, a library, try to find an internet cafe to ask for help etc he wouldn't think to do.."

This is what stood out for me. Also, because he just has one phone, I genuinely think that is the reason for the silence. It is so easy to take out your one UK SIM card, say if you have bought a Polish card and want to save on the roaming (which I presume he would do), then you cannot get your old card back in, you find you have dropped it somewhere... Hey presto, you have lost ALL your contact numbers and cannot reach anyone now.

I am convinced that this is what has happened. The question is now to find how he has been living. I would presume he would ask around for the cheapest hostel? That is where I would start asking or start a search. I would honestly reach out to the locals in the city in which the market square photo was taken (be sure if it was Warsaw and not Krakow or Gdansk: any idea where he would have flown?). Poles are amazing people and I would put my faith in them before literally any other nation.

I rest my case

So sorry this must be so worrying for you. Look up LBT Global. They can help you:

• find someone to talk to for support, like families who have been through a similar experience
• get to the country the person is missing from, to look for them or work with the local police
• deal with the foreign police
• work with the UK police, the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office, Interpol or other authorities
• create a publicity campaign

Hope you get some news soon OP x

Also, I know it’s difficult but try and remember to look after yourself. My guess is you probably aren’t sleeping much so nap if you need to and try and find something mindless to distract you so you aren’t constantly ‘on alert’. This is much easier said than done It might be mindless TV or exercise if you usually exercise.

Or start a bunfight on MN if that’s your thing.

I have no advice for you.
A friend of a friend went AWOL in India for over 3 weeks some years back and she was a bit of a space cadet and was just so involved in what she was doing she didn't phone home. She turned up safe and well.

I have 3 boys with ASD myself so understand the additional stress about vulnerability, their inability to understand if they are in a dangerous situation etc.

My fingers and toes are crossed he will turn up safe. My thoughts are with you.

Oh OP. You must be frantic. I’m really hoping you hear something soon 💐

I am so sorry you are going through this, you must be going crazy.

I wonder if he’s met someone online, fraudsters who are pretending to be someone they aren’t and leading him up the garden path, so to speak.

The only reason I say this is because my sister’s ss is 30 asd and it has transpired recently that during the last 4 years he has been messaging a ‘woman’ via FB. The profile of this woman is very attractive and he truly believes they are in love (he has never physically spoken to her though!). He has given her well over £20k over these last few years. My bil has found out they are a well-known online fraud group and use the photo a famous porn-star to draw young and vulnerable people in.
SS has travelled several times to Heathrow, waiting for this woman to turn up as ‘she’ has declared she loves him and they are destined to be together, obviously she never turns up and the fraudsters give some excuse which ss believes. BIL has now had to take away his passport as he is saying he will travel to the USA to find her (the fraudsters are probably nowhere near America)

I wonder if your ds has fallen prey to something like that and decided to go travel to find them? Are you able to see his friends list on FB? If not can you ask one of his FB friends to look?

Whatever it is I can not imagine the pain you are going through, I hope this ends up with good news for you.

https://missingpersons.police.uk/en-gb/resources/factsheets-for-families

there is a factsheet on here to download for Missing Abroad with some very good practical advice and information.

Sorry OP but my thoughts immediately went to could it be a romance scammer? These are apparently on the rise in Poland and Romania at the moment. Could he have got chatting to somebody online and has gone out to meet them? They often look for victims online and target vulnerable people. I really hope this isn’t the case

That’s not what was said. They said the flat was left and the pets left and then a photo was sent from Poland. He has no connection to Poland.

Could the photo he took be here OP? Any thing similar in the background?

Noticed you said ‘the old market square’ in one of your posts so it could well be here.

There is also lots and lots of cheap hostels in Poznan so you could try and get in touch with some of them with a name and description

The local airport in Poznan is only a 20 minute drive from old market square also.