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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Anyone been in a situation like this? Missing person

192 replies

imuseless · 21/05/2024 13:39

My son (early 20s, ASD) has been missing since May 1st in a different Country. UK police are involved and they got the police in the other Country involved and also interpol. Police there have been checking hospitals, police stations, homeless shelters, john does.. Police here in the UK have been checking ferries, flights etc, trying to see if he has re entered the UK or gone on to another Country etc.

His phone has been off since May 2nd, Zero posts on social media, no reply to any messages, voice mails or anything else, He didn't contact me to wish me a happy birthday a few weeks ago which is when I knew for sure something was wrong, Not even sure if his phone is off, dead, stolen or if he's taken his sim card out. Nobody in our family and none of his friends have seen or heard from him in any way what so ever. Because of the ASD he is the type of person that messages me constantly throughout the day (and tells me absolutely everything if I want to know or not!), All day every day 'Mum I'm awake now, I'm going to do such a thing now' etc so I know something bad has happened. There is no way he would ever go this long without contacting someone, He wouldn't even go one hour.

I'm preparing to fly out, I'm not sure if that is even a good idea or if I should stay here in case he makes it home. Not even sure where in the other Country he is, would only be guessing on my part. We have no connection to the other Country at all, No family there, no friends, never been before etc.

Nobody even knew he had left, nobody knew he was going in the first place. First I knew he had left the Country was the one post he made saying he had arrived with a selfie then nothing at all since.

He is ASD and would be classed as very vunerable and very easily led, If you were to tell him there is a tunnel at the end of your garden that takes you to Spain he would believe you and ask if he could go to Spain with you.. All the things that would be obvious to me like going into a police station, a hospital, a library, try to find an internet cafe to ask for help etc he wouldn't think to do..

Not slept for days, not eaten for days, can't think straight, my mind keeps wandering to all sorts of bad things, I can't think of a single good reason he wouldn't have been in contact in some way by now, I feel absolutely useless, unsettled and have a constant horrible feeling in my stomach that won't go away, I'm literally waiting for my phone to ring with some news, good or bad. I have no idea what to do. Anyone else have experience with a missing person? Did it turn out ok?

Not sure if I'm looking for advice or if I just need to get this all down out of my head.

OP posts:
Cupofteaandbiscuits · 21/05/2024 18:53

How awful. I don’t have any advice but didn’t want to read and run. Can you get a picture and description of him and share far and wide on social media? X

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/05/2024 18:57

Have UK police confirmed with his bank whether there are transactions on his account?

BlurpBlorp · 21/05/2024 19:02

OP sending a massive handhold and lots of love xxx

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 21/05/2024 19:02

Can the police check passport records in Poland?

chocolateanddietcoke · 21/05/2024 19:04

tara66 · 21/05/2024 16:25

He actually sound like he should not be living by himself anyway - what a worry.

What an insensitive post

Aydel · 21/05/2024 19:06

Have you contacted the British Embassy in Warsaw?

user7856378298366 · 21/05/2024 19:08

Gosh what a worry OP.
I think social media is probably your best bet of getting his face and name out there. The world is a small place these days - hopefully someone will have seen him.
Have you checked his emails/messages etc? He must have been hoping to meet up with someone if he’s no connection to Poland?

greenmario · 21/05/2024 19:10

Good luck I hope he turns up soon or u have news x

DyslexicPoster · 21/05/2024 19:10

No advice OP but I have kids with ASD snd I just can't image how you must feel right now. Massive hand hold for you

rubyslipperss · 21/05/2024 19:13

Same, I too have kids with ASC , massively feeling for you OP right now . This Facebook groups for missing people in Poland sound like a good place to go. Please keep us updated.

duende · 21/05/2024 19:23

Hey Op. I’m so sorry you are going through this, I cannot imagine the stress.

I live in Poland. Is there anyway I can help? Do you have a Fb post about him missing that I could share on my wall and different groups?

do you know what city he was in? Do you want me to look at the photo to try and figure it out?

If you can think of anything else I could do, feel free to DM me.

Happy to translate or interpret for you too.

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 21/05/2024 19:25

imuseless · 21/05/2024 14:24

He doesn't have a laptop or a pc or a tablet etc, he has a samsung phone and nothing else, I don't have any of his passwords for his social media or his bank information apart from which bank he is with. Its not an old pic he posted as he recently changed his hair style and it was taken in Poland at the old market square. We are not friends on facebook (his choice) but we talk on messenger and hes not been online at all. I have aksed his friends on facebook if he has posted any posts for 'friends only' and they are all saying no posts at all since may 2nd.

@duende if this helps

SendNoodles · 21/05/2024 19:26

Wakemeup17 · 21/05/2024 17:19

www.facebook.com/share/aGwY9q24b1isqpkj/

This is a FB group in Poland for missing people

@imuseless quoting to make sure you see these

SendNoodles · 21/05/2024 19:27

Wakemeup17 · 21/05/2024 17:20

www.facebook.com/zaginiecia

This one as well

@imuseless

mileenderr · 21/05/2024 19:28

I live in Warsaw and speak Polish. Let me know if I can help. So sorry you are going through this.

CremeFresh · 21/05/2024 19:34

I'm so sorry op , definitely take up the kind offers by Polish MNetters . I hope you find him soon xx

StripedTomatoes · 21/05/2024 19:35

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TBOM · 21/05/2024 19:39

Oh @imuseless how scared you must be. I don’t have any helpful advice but really glad to see that you’ll have some helpful MNetters in Poland who might be able to help you navigate things. Thinking of you and your son. I hope he’s home safe and sound very soon x

tennistimetomorrow · 21/05/2024 19:54

Amx · 21/05/2024 17:32

I would go.

There's a website called websleuths who are brilliant at helping with this type of thing, they will have lots of ideas if you are okay with going public.

This. Do not rely on just the police.

WhamBamThankU · 21/05/2024 19:59

So sorry OP 😔 no help but I have a DS with ASD and it's literally the worst thing you could imagine happening.

FreshStar · 21/05/2024 19:59

Oh god don’t take this to random forums online. Posts on “web sleuths” giving you the worst case scenario won’t help you, it will just cause you more anguish. Your son isn’t entertainment to be theorised about

featherlampshade · 21/05/2024 20:02

Contact his bank and try find out if he's been using his account? X

Gagaandgag · 21/05/2024 20:18

Thinking of you op x

AwfulMIL · 21/05/2024 20:28

imuseless · 21/05/2024 14:04

no

Does he have any connections with countries neighboring Poland? Depending which city it can be a short journey across the border. Best wishes and please hold onto hope. If there was bad news you would likely have found out fast after alerting the authorities.

Sunny1234567 · 21/05/2024 20:28

I am so sorry you are currently going through this. Have you contacted the Embassy for assistance? Can you contact your son's bank to see if there has been any activity on his account. Have his cards been used? I hope and pray you are reunited with your son very soon.

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