Is watching porn at work really a common thing?

[Tuelanak]

My husband watches porn and I'm fine with it.
However, he told me that he also sometimes watches it in the bathroom at work and it made me wonder if it was symptomatic of something more serious?

Is it really a thing that people commonly? I'd think the environment itself wouldn't put someone in the mood and the fear of getting caught would turn them off but clearly I'm wrong.

We barely have sex so I wonder if it's because he lost attraction to me. I'm pregnant with our second child, so admittedly don't look like I did before.

I was watching a movie and the opening scene was a man watching porn at work and getting caught by his colleague, his colleague pities him and tells him he must be miserable in his marriage and stupid as it is it made me start to question things too

Thank you

He’s disgusting. 100% not normal. I asked my DP and he said work toilets would be the last place he would be able to get off. He’s thriving on the risk of being caught. There was a case with a doctor who was wanking at work and putting his semen in peoples coffee.

Telling you and telling you to dress differently is to wear you down. I think it’s beyond counselling sorry. If it helps my DH tells me I am at my most beautiful when I’m wearing no makeup and indoor lounge clothes, because he loves me for who I am.

do you have children?

I'm pregnant with our second child

Third paragraph of the OP.

Having further read all the comments and you saying he comes home from work and tells you this each time he comes in....

This comment is spot on : "he is sexually aroused by both the potential of being caught at work and in telling you he is either aroused by your anger, disappointment or making you feel degraded."

It is time to get a divorce and stop subjecting yourself to this.

Bloody hell.

OP, it sounds like you should have left the relationship a long time ago and didn't. Now you're pregnant with this man's second child.

You've also mentioned that "he got in trouble in the past and it got our whole family in trouble. He promised he'd never do it again but here we are." Only you know what that means as you haven't shared the details.

I'm sorry, but sometimes we have to take responsibility for our part in situations too. This relationship clearly isn't something that shouldn't have continued, a man you should be having sex with nor a second child for.

I only know of one person who watches at work and he's attended sex addiction therapy (I can't remember the name of it but think AA for porn)

He also watches on his commute, in the pub, whilst on Zoom calls.... The lot. It's gross IMO

It’s definitely NOT normal. It’s absolutely disgusting. Sounds like he enjoys the fact he could get caught. And also sounds as though he’s addicted to porn. He’s got too used to thinking that’s what sex is supposed to be like, and isn’t in touch with reality. He needs therapy and a bloody reality check!

He needs to put you first.
I’m not completely against porn, but it shouldn’t be in place of sex with your loving partner who wants it.

Unless they were doing it on the office floor, I can’t see how masturbating at work could be a sackable offence. You’re not allowed to install CCTV inside toilets, for obvious reasons.

OP, it sounds like you’re not sexually compatible and/or he is now addicted to porn.

Why were you virgins until marriage?

This!! ⬆

I suspect many more people watch porn at work than any of us realise. (Remember that MP in the house of commons??!!)

However your husband has admitted he's seeking increasingly "thrill inducing" contact and thats a big issue. Particularly as he's rarely up for actual sex at home. I think he has a porn addiction and like any addiction it needs to be addressed but unlikely to be solved until HE wants to.

Unless they were doing it on the office floor, I can’t see how masturbating at work could be a sackable offence. You’re not allowed to install CCTV inside toilets, for obvious reasons.

Most people aren't going to get coauthor for that very reason, but if they do, it's definitely sackable.

You can't rub one out when some unsuspecting person is in the next cubicle, even if you're watching porn and not them. You can't risk someone catching you and having to see that.

So yeah, can see why it is.

Same for sex really, you can't shag in the loo and claim it was a private space.

It really is a sackable offence at most companies. If you really really want to test it then I suggest you do it when your boss is in the next cubicle and see what happens.

And why does it matter if they were both virgins or not? There are many reasons why, the two most obvious are for religious or cultural.

Do you have children?

If not, leave now. Don't let him and his addictions destroy your self esteem.

I think sex with me was not what he expected

I'm guessing he says you're too 'vanilla' and he wants 'porn style' sex by that comment?

@Crushed23

Unless they were doing it on the office floor, I can’t see how masturbating at work could be a sackable offence.

Mate, can you really not?! I find it bizarre that you can't understand it's a sackable offence. Even with multiple people saying they literally know people who have been sacked for it.

She says in her first post that she is pregnant with their second child.

I've read all the posts so apologies if this has already been said but.... I know it's cliche.... he sounds like he is gay.

You were both virgins and you think sex that with you is not what he expected, and he's watching more and more extreme porn and now not interested in sex with you.

I know you're pregnant so you have had sex but I read this and immediately think he's gay.

Regardless, what he is doing is not acceptable. Apart from being gross doing this at work, he is risking his job and finances.

Make sure you are financially independent and kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

He seems pretty open about his habit/addiction, so maybe the OP can ask what kind of porn he likes - that should make it clear if you're right.

I suspect he's not gay though, and his mind and sexual impulses have just becomes completely warped by porn.

To get sacked at work for wanking in a cubicle, you don't just have to wank in a toilet cubicle, you have to make it so obvious that it's unmistakable to those outside that cubicle... otherwise no one would be the wiser.

Obviously it's gross and unacceptable whether or not anyone knows you're doing it, but those getting sacked for it must be making an exhibition of themselves whilst doing so. No one is going to get sacked for a quick silent fumble, as no one would ever know - wrong and inappropriate as it might be.

In real life the hospital in Grey's Anatomy wouldn't have anyone left in it - the entire workforce would be sacked! 😂

I said in my previous post he might be gay and the fact he is almost bragging to you about watching porn at work might be his way of throwing you off the scent - that he’s such a red-blooded male with uncontrollable urges where women are concerned that he can’t get enough!

I may be way off track but I don’t think he’ll be admitting to watching gay porn to you, if he does. He might also be seeking extreme porn as an alternative bc he doesn’t want to admit it to himself as he is in denial.

I hope you’re alright, OP, you’re in an awful position, but help is out there for you. Wishing you all the best x

Ewww....I hope he washes his fucking hands afterwards. What job does he do? Is he merrily typing away afterwards or cooking food in a restaurant?

And no one is going to look over the top of the cubicle as they will be in trouble too . Plus is going to be their word against yours . The complainant could be left with egg on their face .

Or ejaculate.....

It must be the kind of men you were picking - as a man this absolutely isn't normal.

I'd hope that men always wash their hands after wanking irrespective of whether they do it in a public toilet 😂

I worked in call centres while traveling and it's super common there. They used to joke about being paid to shit and wank.