Is watching porn at work really a common thing?

[Tuelanak]

My husband watches porn and I'm fine with it.
However, he told me that he also sometimes watches it in the bathroom at work and it made me wonder if it was symptomatic of something more serious?

Is it really a thing that people commonly? I'd think the environment itself wouldn't put someone in the mood and the fear of getting caught would turn them off but clearly I'm wrong.

We barely have sex so I wonder if it's because he lost attraction to me. I'm pregnant with our second child, so admittedly don't look like I did before.

I was watching a movie and the opening scene was a man watching porn at work and getting caught by his colleague, his colleague pities him and tells him he must be miserable in his marriage and stupid as it is it made me start to question things too

Thank you

What does this mean? In trouble how?

This man is disgusting and he doesn’t respect you or any other woman.

A guy got sacked at work for doing exactly this - he was in IT dept and using a work laptop 🙄

How could it not be???!

WTF! What job does he do! That’s grim!

In the loos?

Any person in IT should be aware that all web access is logged. As a sys admin, I once had to go through such logs to get evidence for HR to sack someone for watching porn on the co.pany networks (and in company time.)

How did they catch them !!!!

I don't think it's at all uncommon, gross as that sounds. On work computers, less common now as everyone has a smartphone, but look at the MPs who got caught not that long ago watching porn in parliament/on parliamentary devices!

I work for a university but in an office in a building that shares floors with a dental clinic affiliated and several other NHS primary care clinics. The clinics aren't even on our floor (except the dental one) and we have restricted access with security at the front desk, you have to sign in and show ID, can't just walk in off the street. We had to install code access on our loos in the hallway because people were using them to have sex! Like it was happening frequently enough - not the same people, different random people who were attending for appointments rather than staff - that we had to restrict access to staff only with a code! I can only imagine the amount of porn that must get watched in those loos if people are actually regularly having sex in them. Grim.

I remember someone getting sacked at work but no one knew why and then a memo went round reminding everyone that IT can see everything everyone is looking at online .

Are you joking? If you get caught masturbating at work, even in the toilets, it would be gross misconduct in almost any workplace I can think of.

Every word of this. Porn is just vile. I’m sorry you think sex with you wasn’t what he expected - it never will be to a porn addict.

As most ppl who are getting caught seem to be male, I’m guessing most of the ppl who do this at work are male, tho it may be that women are just more… discrete? From the reactions of ppl on here that’s clearly nonsense, everyone seems to be equally bewildered/disgusted.

It would be interesting reading the comments from a male thread like this. Would most men have similar reactions - 😱🤢🤮 or would they be trading wank stories of where they almost got caught doing the deed and engaging in the laddish ‘banter’ to show how blokey they were and normalising it. (I knew guys in their 20’s who did this but hoping they’ve grown out of that now.) Some men down the pub/in the locker room may join in even tho they’d be horrified at the thought of someone they worked with actually doing this, but that’s a stark difference between male vs female bonding I guess. Sorry, slightly off topic.

OP, your husband has a serious porn addiction and the fact he’s saying he needs it more extreme, in itself should be cause for concern. You said you think bc of your history it wasn’t what he expected with you, like another poster suggested - might he actually be gay? And how extreme is the content? He clearly has different boundaries so it may be criminally extreme. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be sickening and humiliating for you. I’d look into therapy for yourself if he refuses to go and seek some advice. They should be able to give you a clearer insight into what you are dealing with and you’ll know better how to navigate this and move forward. Good luck x

As most ppl who are getting caught seem to be male, I’m guessing most of the ppl who do this at work aremale, tho it may be that women are just more… discrete?

No, I think women simply find work toilets very unerotic and wait till they're home, if they're feeling that horny.

How were they caught??

So many issues with this man. Please make sure you're financially secure.

Can I just say that the majority of posters have not a single inkling of how common this is. I certainly don’t. I should think the majority of men who indulge are not going to mention this to their partners - they’d be morons to tell someone. I know one guy who has admitted this to me and but he was into absolutely all sorts of kinks. He worked for the local authority.

I work with lots of men like this, but my 'client group' if you will, is registered sex offenders.
I agree with PPs the fact he is booming home and telling you is even more concerning, he is sexually aroused by both the potential of being caught at work and in telling you he is either aroused by your anger, disappointment or making you feel degraded. It's not a relationship I'd be staying in

His behaviour is widely inappropriate and in no way normal. It is him who needs therapy. He clearly has a problem and doesn’t have the insight to recognise it.

I also think he may be getting something he finds attractive from your reaction. Whether is your discomfort or potentially later trying to persuade you to try certain acts.

he is sexually aroused by both the potential of being caught at work and in telling you he is either aroused by your anger, disappointment or making you feel degraded.

This is worth keeping in mind, OP.

It's not normal, no. One of my old managers got sacked for accessing porn at work a few years ago, so that's an additional concern, besides the fact that it's not normal. He can't wait 8 hours before having a wank?

This is really pathetic...

It sounds like he has reached a stage where he is addicted to it.

You’ve had some really good advice already OP, the only thing I will add is that you need to know and understand that you are not to blame, as I know you mentioned currently being pregnant and “not looking like you did before”. Honestly, do not put yourself down like that!

I’m also currently pregnant, I feel enormous, spotty, my boobs are leaking and I feel like I spend half my life complaining about back pain, I feel like I look like Shrek! BUT my husband tells me every single day how beautiful he thinks I am, he is constantly touching me, showing and telling me how much he fancies me! I can’t even for a second imagine him announcing that he has watched porn today & had a wank- I’m not saying he doesn’t do it, for all I know maybe he does, but I cannot imagine any scenario where my husband would think it is okay or appropriate to stroll in from work and announce that he’s been watching porn & wanking at work, then making no effort/rejecting me, and telling me what I should or shouldn’t wear in the house!

Unless you're a recluse and hermit, I very much doubt that you've never met anyone who has watched porn. How would you know? Do you ask everyone you encounter?

Absolutely. Your DH has a big porn problem and it's seriously undermining your marriage.

I'm intrigued why he told you that he gets off on porn in the office toilets. I mean, how does that even come up in conversation? "How was your day dear?". "Good thanks! I had a lovely wank in the loo over lunchtime whilst watching a threesome on Pornhub! I'm all spent now though so don't get any ideas!"

I work in construction and in a male environment. The thought of one our team knocking one out before a meeting is vile

WTF.

So your husband is an addict.

People really come on here trying to normalise and rationalise problematic behaviours that you know is messed up.

Also, even if something is "common" doesn't mean it's right.