Is watching porn at work really a common thing?

[Tuelanak]

My husband watches porn and I'm fine with it.
However, he told me that he also sometimes watches it in the bathroom at work and it made me wonder if it was symptomatic of something more serious?

Is it really a thing that people commonly? I'd think the environment itself wouldn't put someone in the mood and the fear of getting caught would turn them off but clearly I'm wrong.

We barely have sex so I wonder if it's because he lost attraction to me. I'm pregnant with our second child, so admittedly don't look like I did before.

I was watching a movie and the opening scene was a man watching porn at work and getting caught by his colleague, his colleague pities him and tells him he must be miserable in his marriage and stupid as it is it made me start to question things too

Thank you

Yes we must think of the poor menz forced to watch women being abused and exploited on paid company time because they can't abuse or exploit their wife because they got tied down too soon. All you need to do is consider being abused or exploited to solve this.

🤢🤢 << not envy.

The fact you need to ask this means you probably know the answer.
But, in case you don't: watching porn at work is wildly inappropriate. Doesn't matter if it's in the loos (boak). Just rank.
Of course, a small number of people do watch porn at work but it is so inappropriate.
I had the displeasure, nearly 20yrs ago, of working in the same office as someone who watched porn at his desk 'after hours' once the boss went home. It was absolutely grim (no, he didn't wank at his desk afaik but it was incredibly weird and hugely unsettling for me and othe female colleagues when we had to work late).

Oh jeez, that’s so grim. And they want more unisex toilets

He came back from work and he's done it again today. He said it so nonchalantly just like a matter of fact, he just said this time he didn't finish.

He doesn't care

He's risking his job and therefore your family's financial security, to do something really fucking creepy - wank in the work toilets where his colleagues could walk in at any time.

He's a selfish fucking loser.

Please don't spend your life with one of those.

My mate won't use the toilets at his work. Naive me thought it was from the mess from peeing on the floor or having a shit but no. It's because of the wanking in there.

Anyway, the problem with not wanting sex with you is nothing to do with you and having a normal sex life, it's because he's porn saturated.

He's baiting you, trying to start an argument. One where he will minimise all the valid points on why it's vile and criminal, and he will make you out to be overbearing, nitpicky, controlling, no fun, even slightly crazy, and you will end up emotionally beaten.

So what do you want to do? Ignore it and wait until he's sacked, or counselling (although I don't think he will agree to that) or is it time to leave?

He's definitely got a porn addiction.

Today he told me to stop wearing jumpers and wear something else at home. Makes me feel like it's my fault and I feel bad in that regards, but at the same, when I wear really girly clothes, full face of makeup etc...he still rejects me and it makes me feel stupid. Makes me want to give up on myself cuz what's the point.

I think you are right.
I did insist on counseling for a long time, he kept refusing until things got quite bad between us. He then started "weekly" counseling but was never consistent with it, He'd go months at a time without attending, he'd only go when I'd heavily insist. Now he's stopped all together. He got in trouble in the past, and as a consequence got the whole family in trouble for quite a long time, it's not the first time, he promised not to do it again, but here we are.

He doesn't care about you. He's getting off on telling you about it.

He's a wanjer who can't be arsed to have sex with you. Fuck him off

No that's grim.
And I don't think porn is inherently morally wwrong watch it occasionally myself...but that's a workplace... it's not appropriate at all. I'd think someone had an addiction if they were doing that tbh like if they were drinking alcohol on their break in the day at work. It shows a worrying lack of self control and/or lack of respect for colleagues and the workplace.
The fact your sex life isn't great points to some sort of porn addiction as well. He needs to take responsibility and do something about his porn use.. it sounds like it's become a problem.

He got in trouble in the past, and as a consequence got the whole family in trouble for quite a long time, it's not the first time, he promised not to do it again, but here we are.

What does this mean? What kind of trouble?

It's not common, but it's certainly not unknown.

If he gets caught, it's really unfair on colleagues who have to investigate, too.

3/5 boyfriends I had did this when I was in my 20s, they were pretty normal men too

Hopefully you have your own income.

My ex husband was downloading porn at work and was promptly dismissed. That was an interesting day at my house. Is your dh using the work wifi?

It's strange he's so open with you given what he's doing is something that virtually every woman in the world would find disgusting.

He has no idea of what normal sex is. All he can go by is what happens in porn movies and that isn't real life, thank God.

He's got the death grip from constant masturbation so nobody would make him happy sexually, don't worry that this is anything to do with you.

The only thing that would work is for a complete ban on porn for several months. This isn't going to happen. He's completely addicted.

Are you both religious?

I think you both would benefit from a couples therapist

the fact you were both virgins and him getting his sex education from hard porn isn’t optimal

He's risking his job and therefore your family's financial security

im sorry but since when is wanking in the toilets a sacking offence !!!

Sexual activity in a public toilet is an offence according to the 2003 SO Act. Even if it weren’t, he’s paid to work, not knock one out.

It's not normal or ok for him to be wanking at work or telling you what to wear

im sorry but since when is wanking in the toilets a sacking offence !!!

Several posters have mentioned people they know this has happened to so clearly it is a sacking offence and rightly so. Most people are in their workplace for 8 hours or so. Just do your job and wank when you get home surely? ‘Having’ to do it at work suggests addiction. Not healthy.

Sorry but that is gross. That and him coming home each day and telling you about it too.