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Original poster

Longest you’ve been single?

104 replies

BananaSlug · 20/08/2023 20:23

There’s lots of talk about women staying single and not wanting to date and not needing a man but I don’t know anyone irl who feels this way and all the women I know are dating so out of interest what is the longest you have been single? (as an adult obviously) Completely single no friends with benefits/ sex, nothing. Or if you are single how long have you been single? Just wondering out of interest.

OP posts:
Sandsational · 20/08/2023 21:40

I was single for about 7 years in my 20s, no dates or short term relationships in that time. My self esteem was rock bottom and I believed myself exceptionally unattractive so I never would have dated and my lack of confidence was probably off-putting to potential partners. I changed hugely in my 30s and am a fairly confident person now but it makes me sad to look back, what a waste.

DreamersBall · 20/08/2023 21:41

Redpepperss · 20/08/2023 21:36

I don't think there's anything wrong with you just it's a slim chance to meet people organicly now. I know most people prefer to meet organicly but unfortunately as you get older and busy with work... online dating does seem rhe only way!. I've been on 2 dates and had a good time.. didn't become anything but it was a social/positive experience

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The idea of online dating terrifies me. If the men that actually know me don't like me, how on earth do I convince strangers to? 😅

SamW98 · 20/08/2023 21:41

User135644 · 20/08/2023 21:35

Women being single and not looking to date after divorce/being widowed is probably more common. Younger women less so.

Show quote history

I would agree that being older, divorced and single is a different ball game.

Im mid 50’s and I’d say 80% of my friends are single and not really dating.

lunaalice · 20/08/2023 21:41

Single up until 23 more or less.

Lioney · 20/08/2023 21:46

I spent 7 years single in my 20s. I had 2 dc and just concentrated on them and studying.

Im now 49 and been single for nearly 5 years.

No dating, sex or any type of relationship. No interest in having another relationship.

Caswallonthefox · 20/08/2023 21:46

15 years and counting, I seem to have a dysfunctional shit man radar, so I gave up.

letmesailletmesail · 20/08/2023 21:49

I met DH when I was 32. Before then, I'd had a 9mth relationship, 2 x 6 mth relationships and an 11th one. A few dates, some one night stands and a lot of unrequited love & tears in the gaps as well as some brilliant times.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 20/08/2023 21:51

I was single for 7 years, although had a handful of dates and sex in that time

I've currently been single, no sex, haven't even kissed anyone for nearly 4 years.

OneCup · 20/08/2023 21:52

Probably 3or 4 years. Currently married but if my marriage broke down, I don't think I would bother with relationships.

Riverpebble · 20/08/2023 21:54

15 years and counting

HamishTheCamel · 20/08/2023 21:56

Three months.

Three boyfriends between age 15 and 22, then met DH and we've been together for 26 years.

NewYorkFirstTimer · 20/08/2023 22:02

Almost 2 years but my longest time was around 7 years. Late 30s and no further interest whatsoever in sex, dating or relationships.

megletthesecond · 20/08/2023 22:04

14yrs now. Working lone parent and no support. Mortgage paid off and no time or energy to add anyone else to my to-do list.

RumNotRun · 20/08/2023 22:14

About 14 years properly single but I have had a few week/month flings, nothing for four years though and no interest in having any.

I've never been married, never had kids, was engaged to the last serious partner but we split in 2009 and I can't imagine finding, or even wanting to find, someone who would be worth changing the life I lead now (although a second income would come in handy!)

Urgsleepmoresleep · 20/08/2023 22:17

43.been in a relationship for 18 months. Single mostly for 15 years. Except quite a few flings lasting a few months. Never wanted to commit. Always dating. No idea why this guys stuck. Opposite of my type. But he is ace

Bananasplitlady · 20/08/2023 22:20

Divorced in 2010 when I was mid 30s. Shagged around a bit but all the men I met seemed too needy so decided I'd rather not bother. Been single since, so over a decade. Do not miss dating at all, if I desperately need sex at some point I'll happily have a ONS but men of my age are not v appealing and older ones even less so , so suspect I will live happily without.

ilovepixie · 20/08/2023 22:30

Was single till I was 40. Met my partner was with him 14 years till he died of cancer 9 months ago.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/08/2023 22:32

Been single since 2009 and it will probably stay that way.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 20/08/2023 22:34

I was single no sex for about 1-2 years in my early 20s but at 22 I’d broken off an engagement so was sick of men!

Johnisafckface · 20/08/2023 22:38

I’ve been single most of my life except for a few relationships that totaled about 10 years. I’m 52. Since my last relationship ended I’ve been single about 7 years. Most days I’m ok with it, I figure at my age and how picky I am I will remain single forever , so working on accepting that now.

TitInATrance · 20/08/2023 22:46

Not officially ‘in a relationship’? 7 years and counting.
Celibate? 3 years once due to trauma, otherwise about 6 months max.

KnittedCardi · 20/08/2023 22:46

Never. In my teens went from one boyfriend straight to another (slight overlaps), inc. husband. Married for 33 years now.

Bowbowbo · 20/08/2023 22:48

NoraLuka · 20/08/2023 21:25

2 and a half years, between leaving ExH and meeting DP. I wasn’t even really looking for a relationship tbh, could have stayed single for another few years!

Same! I didn’t really mean to find a partner, he just sort of happened along

Bowbowbo · 20/08/2023 22:49

10 years celibate before that though, including the last 7 years of a 30 year marriage

RaininSummer · 20/08/2023 22:50

I stayed single for 7 years whilst a single parent as I wanted my children to be older before I dated seriously.