Longest you’ve been single?

[BananaSlug]

There’s lots of talk about women staying single and not wanting to date and not needing a man but I don’t know anyone irl who feels this way and all the women I know are dating so out of interest what is the longest you have been single? (as an adult obviously) Completely single no friends with benefits/ sex, nothing. Or if you are single how long have you been single? Just wondering out of interest.

My first relationship was at 23, nothing before that. After 23 I wasn't single until my 40s when I broke up with my then dh. I was not interested in dating after that for about 1.5 years. Had a fun fling, after which I had a break of about 3 months before dating again.
In my 50s I know a couple of women who have not had sex/a relationship for 10 years or so and are not looking. I can see the attraction of it at that age if you have a really nice circle of friends and/or a busy life otherwise. A partner does take up time and energy and you might feel more fulfilled investing that time and energy in something else.

Single since I was 7mths pregnant on my youngest child. He turned 21 last week.
In that time I've had a couple of dates & a couple of one night stands & all have made me realise how much I prefer being alone.
I'm now 48 and absolutely no interest in meeting anyone or sex. I'm very happy this way. I'm currently perimenopausal so the thoughts of anyone near me makes me shudder. Maybe when I come out the other end I'll feel different lol

Have to say after almost 4 years single the only thing I miss about being in a relationship is sex.
I wish I could find a FWB but my problem is that I have no idea how and where I could find anyone suitable and also I have to feel a real connection to sleep with someone. I couldn’t imagine having a ONS or casual shag.

Single through choice for almost 14 years, and no intention of being in a relationship ever again. Previously I've been voluntarily single for 4 years and then 5 years with a few shorter terms of 1 to 2 years. I keep forgetting how shitty boyfriends can be and invariably regret abandoning singledom.

I acknowledge that as a people pleaser I have always attracted a certain type of selfish or abusive male so I suppose that's my own fault. Going through the menopause has been great, my hormones no longer try to persuade me to give it just one more try.

I was single for four years between splitting with a partner at 25 and meeting dp at 29 .

5 years unless I count the 8 month situationship in which case its 1.5 years. Longest I've been single and its depressing. I just haven't found anyone who I feel that way about. Maybe I'm too picky these days. There is a guy that has caught my eye in the gym (and he keeps catching my eye quite literally , every time I see him we are looking at each other).

Only about 2 years, but I can't say I see it changing.

I lose too much of myself and my personality in relationships, never have enough me-time as an introvert with a very full life when another human suddenly wants me around all the time, and especially when it's a time I normally have without my kids.

I'm much happier and much more confident and productive when single.

If I would break up with DH, I might casually date, just for fun. But that's as serious as I would get. Would not marry or live with a man.

People I've met who can never seem to be on their own or who recover from a breakup and are in a new relationship within a few weeks or a couple of months of the old one dont seem to have as much emotional depth as others. It's as if they dont fall deeply madly in love with someone but merely find a person who will 'do'. Others seem to love the feeling of a new relationship and all the thrills butterflies etc that go with it then they get bored after 2-5 years and start again. Just my opinion.

Single for 5 years. I don't date for various reasons and have come around to the idea that I will probably be single for good now.

I know this is awful but I’m 42 and have probably only been single for a month or so since I was 16. I wouldn’t even say I have to be in a relationship, I like my own company. It just happened that way.

My last FWB finished about 2 years ago, and Ive had nothing since, and no real interest, either.

But like you say, FWB is NOT a relationship. I wouldnt take them home to meet the parents!

My last real relationship was maybe 12/13 years ago!

After that I had about 4 steady consecutive FWB, which lasted 1 to 2 years each. But nothing for 2 years now.

Met DH at 23. I was very fussy and despite lots of interest from my teens, I was just never attracted to anyone enough to go out with them. It was instantaneous with Dh, pretty much love at first sight on both sides. 24 years later we're still very happily married. So don't know if I've ever been single really ir whether 18 - 23 counts.

Never been single..

I was single by choice for 8 years throughout my twenties. Best years of my life. I loved being single.

2 years with no plans to meet someone happy being single

Probably about 4 years in my early 20s? To be honest though, if something happened to DH I'm not sure how bothered I'd be about dating again. He's my perfect fit, I can't imagine having to settle for less with someone else. Hard to tell though when I (thank god) haven't been in that situation!

From 17 to 57 about just over a year maybe 18 months between relationships when I was 28.

I've been totally single since 2017 when boyfriend of 5 years decided I needed to 'get rid of ds at least every other weekend' and I dumped him. DS was 9 at the time. The last six years have been happy and mostly stress-free despite being made redundant and being diagnosed with BC in that time.

I'm all sorted and back on my feet now, DS is 15 and I could look for another relationship but to be perfectly honest I found dealing with all the issues of the last few years much easier without a man around.

I haven't had to deal with anyone moaning about not getting enough sex or not going on holiday in term time, or not having enough fun-money. No-one criticising my car or my son or my cooking. I find life without a man is genuinely easier, less stressful and less expensive. I miss the physical intimacy but it comes at a price I'm not sure is worth paying.

A fwb arrangement might be the answer but somehow it doesn't feel right.

Single by choice for 4 years. Don't want DS to have a stepfather. Ever. Am a busy bee and don't need a man for money/company/changing the lightbulbs. Am finding celibacy empowering.

Longest time without being in a dating relationship was 4 years in my mid 30's.

Was married twice for 2 years at each end of my 30's. Other than that I had relationships that were dating eg weekends only, max 2-3 years each, and have lived alone apart from my kids. Took me forever to realise why things weren't clicking enough to last...

53 now and thoroughly fed up with living alone. Would be so lovely to share life.

I was single when I was pregnant and met my now DH when my son was 13, so 13 years.
I didn't want to date whilst having a small child so this was out of choice.
My DH auntie has never had a real relationship, not even held hands with a man let alone kissed and she's 72.
I also know a woman who I went to primary school with who is the same, she's 41.

I'm over 10 years single and never intend to be in a committed romantic relationship again.

I'm not celibate though, I get plenty of casual sex.

Other than an awful Shituationship which lasted 9 months it was 4 years. I don't do casual or anything like that and I have a feeling that's it for me. Extremely sad about it to be honest as I really enjoy sex.

A friend of mine is beautiful, extroverted, very social, owns a nice house, early 40s. We've known each other since her teens and she's never had a boyfriend in that time. I don't know why. She isn't a lesbian, she's not religious, and has never shown any sign of being an affair partner or having any sort of 'secret' sex life. Best guess would be that she's asexual, though she does get strongly attracted to men ... if asked, she says "I can't be bothered with all that!"

Got to say she has a point 😄