Help - have done something terrible...

[whydididoit]

Please don't judge me - I am in a loving and happy marriage with children in fact ttc another one...Yesterday got very drunk and had huge argument with dh...don't really remember it and stormed off - ended up going into a pub...vague memory and chatting to two men...they bought me a drink and then don;t remember leaving but vaguely remmeber having s*x with one of them, was found at 1am walking along - god knows where and the police bought me home - dh wants to know what happened but really I don't actually know - feel dreadful, know I did - can I put it behind me - feel so stupid at getting so drunk and in such a state which very rarely happens...what was I thinking please help me as feel awful...can't believe this happened to me!!! in some ways I am lucky to have got home as had no idea what I was doing..

if you could possibly already be pg by your dh that needs to be discussed before you get the MAP, so make sure you see someone and dont just buy it iyswim? do you know where you are in your cycle?

id go get morning after pill and whatever else you need to do.maybe speak to police as it does sound possible drink was spiked.

it was silly thing to do but you cant punish yourself about it.

you have to see someone asap. please go and do it.

sorry x post.

agree with going docs and maybe police. but docs at least.

Hope you are ok.

Ignoring this has much harsher consequences than just dealing with it now. You owe it to your dh to go and get MAP and get tested as if the scumbag had a disease it would be unfrgiveable to pass it on to him. I'm afraid you must just deal with it today, so sorry for you.

does this kind of thing happen to other people feel like I'm the onlyone in the world and sure people get that drunk they do stupid things - don't think I could ever face a drink again!!

Can I ask again if that is your normal reaction to being really drung (patchy memory I mean)

Agree with Carmanere. You screwed up, it's done, the right thing to do is to now take the consequences. Whether you tell dh or not is up to you, but you should not risk your, or his health, because of this. That would be unforgivable.

Sometimes have lost memory but have had dh too look after me...and actually don;t get that drunk very often - so it was kind of out of character to get so crazy...had just had argument with dh about something silly but sparked a huge row!!

It happened to me when I was very young, I blamed myself for years.

Ok, you're def not pregnant by dh so get the morning after pill and get yourself checked out. Will you do that? x

I am definitley going to get MAP first then think about what I do I'm sure I can and forget about it and just be grateful that I have a lovely family by my side...

WHile I think there is a very good chance your drink was spiked, it will not be possible to detect that now (rohypnol etc disappears from the body after about 24 hours which is why the scumbags use it in the first place) - equally, your drink could have been spiked with extra vodkas rather than any other chemical. What a horrible thing to happen to you: please try not to blame yourself because even if you were very drunk that doesn;t entitle a man to have sex with you: it doesn;t sound at all like you were in a position to consent to sex.

I don't even argue with dh very often - thats what makes it so awful!!

also go to GUM clinic - he could of had anything. could affect any baby of yours and dh's.

I appreciate this will sound harsh but quite frankly what you've done sounds more like the actions of a teenager who doesn't know any better than a married mother.
As for the drink spiking, I'm sorry but its down to you to protect yourself. If you weren't in any fit state to do that you shouldn't have been out drinking!
Perhaps you should think about your relationship with alcohol and think about making some changes and getting some help.
At the very least you need to take a pregnancy test and get yourself checked for STIs before you sleep with your DH again
Sorry to be harsh but feel quite strongly about this

Good, that would be one complication out of the way. Get tested for STDs too. You don't need to tell your doctor anything. But if you choose not to tell dh he might find out in the worst possible way if something is passed on.

Hope you're ok, you don't need any of us to judge, sounds like you're beating yourself up plenty.

Don't mind Pheeb, she is perfect, you see, has never made a mistake in her life and she for some reason can't see that you are evidently very upset and remorseful
Stupid pious cow

I wasn't out drinking!! Thank you Pheebe I feel strongly too. I don't want sympathy just wanted to express my feelings and how dreadful it all seems and is and was. I was drinking at home with dh - more wine than I thought I had or could cope with - had argument with dh and walked out - found myself in a pub A PUB A PUB which I have never ever done before and even had no money with me!!! I feel awful have no recollection of walking into the PUB just remember they guys buying me a drink which I think was brandy - I never drink BRANDY and then I found myself later on outside with this guy....he seemed very pleasant I can't even remember his name he was younger than me - think I felt flattered THAT IS ALL I KNOW I am mid thirties not a teenager - this kidn of thing has never happened to me before and yes think I am in shock as what I did is damningly awful!!!

hhhmmmmm, you cant just 'find yourself in a pub' surely.........

was it far from the house?.....