Hi, I have other threads about what has led up to this, but now I am away from Ex H. have moved counties and started new life with the children following years of emotional and sometimes physical abuse. Because of his history of mental health problems, long stays in psych hospitals and suicidal tendencies I have pretty much 'disappeared' - he has no idea we've left or where we are.
On xmas eve DD disclosed some things to me relating to the time H used to take her into the bath with him...things which sound very much like he masturbated in front of her...she described an erect penis, he told her not to tell Mummy etc. I asked NSPCC for advice and they said in their opinion it is hughly likely that sexual abuse has taken place; that she is using sexualised language and behaviour far beyond her years and said I had to report it as if I tried to use it later to prevent contact my motives would be questioned.
So I phoned social services and they immediately informed the police. So now I have to wait to hear from the police.
What happens now? Has anyone any experience of this? I am terrified as he will be furious, absolutely livid when he is questioned. But I feel that children should always be believed and I have no reason to think she would or could make it up. Previosuly I caught him looking at porn with her - pretty hard core stuff (anal, oral, lesbian and group images).
I really do believe he will come after me - the NSPCC have told me that there is unlikely to be a conviction because of DDs age - the courts wouldn't put her through the ordeal so he'll be free to come after me. He has threatened many times to snatch her, and told me I'll never see her again.
Any advice?
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Reported H to Social services...now what?
sleepingwiththeenemy · 19/01/2008 16:24
Hi ladies, I'm feeling good today thanks, apart from an annoying cough that won't go away. I put on some war paint and took DD2 into town and we bought loads of baking stuff, so are going to spend a happy few hours making cakes and biscuits 
. I'm no baker though - I can cook really well but baking? Nah.
When I got home DD1 said that next door's dog had been out in the garden and has really bad diarrhoea. She said she is just skin and bones, and looks like a stray dog. I haven't heard anything about/from the RSPCA yet, but I've done what I can so it's in their hands now.
Jux yes, I thought the same but couldn't just let her suffer like that.
oldnew thankyou, that means a lot.
x
Hi sleeping, good to hear you have had a better day today. I am sure your dd enjoyed the baking, whatever the result :)
What a lot you have had going on. Well done for calling the RSPCA, poor dog 
Great to hear fort knox is in place, must be reassuring.
When you go to GP see if you can get a referral for counselling. It sounds like you want/feel ready to talk about what you went through.
Hi all, yes I am going to follow up my report to them today. It's horrible, because I actually like this guy and when he's well he's lovely, but he's so so scary when he's in a rage which seems to be getting worse, and the fact that he doesn't even recognise that he's 'lost the plot' worries me. if they take the dog off him then I will feel guilty as she is his only company. But at the same time I can't allow that treatment to go on. I have a big, soft lumbering Labrador who is fussed and spoiled ridiculously, and I'd hate to think of anyone mistreating him so it really upsets me to see what he does to his dog.
This guy's life is a mess. he told me he's surviving on just fried bread every day as he can't afford to eat, has no gas or hot water, heats the house using the electric oven. If he can't afford to feed himself then what's he giving the dog? His mother is in a psych hospital long term, and he has little contact with his family.
Looking forward to easter sunday . we do an easter egg hunt every year; I write poems as clues and the kids have to solve them to find the next lot of eggs. Even though 2 of the DC are 18 and 16 they still love it. I'll put bunny footprints all over the house, and they have to make easter baskets before they can start hunting. Silly I know but we love it. And that's what makes me mad about HIM...DD2 has an innocent loving life, rebuilt after what he did and now he wants to come back in and ruin her all over again. It scares me so much.
Anyway, I'll let you know about the dog
x
Oh, you are completely wonderful, sleeping! I am so jealous of your egg hunt. i tried to do that with dd when she was little, but dh poo-pooed it and spoilt it (we were in a very bad place emotionally back then, and I was seriously ill) so the big EE Hunt never got off the ground.
sleeping
Just read the thread.....
Jesus, you are amazing 
Oh no, that last sentence of yours, sleeping, made me wince and almost made me cry! So, so glad you reported.
I have ms, but am much better atm than I was then - I could barely stand up at the time, let alone organise EE Hunts, but hey! I tried
Hi all
Well, not sure reporting next door to the RSPCA was worth it tbh. I got a voicemail from them telling me that they had visited, and neighbour has promised to take the dog to the RSPCA (how is he going to afford that???) and that with their support all is fine. End of. Oh well, next time he is beating the dog at 1am I'll just ignore it shall I?
As for me, I've only just managed to crawl out of bed. I suffer with really debilitating back problems but last night DP came up behind me and cuddled me, I jumped out of my skin and my back jarred and my leg gave way! I said I'd pay for it this morning and I am! It feels like my spine is about to snap every time I move. So a day on the settee is in order methinks
It's snowing here again, can't believe it!
Hi sleeping good to hear from you. .
Could you call solicitor for a quick update? Waiting is awful.
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