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Original poster

Just walked in on husband masturbating

113 replies

LadyLazarus20 · 07/11/2021 22:03

Hello, please help me with advice. After getting the children to sleep I have come down the stairs to find my husband wanking in the middle of the kitchen/dining room.

He says he is sorry and that it is inappropriate. My thoughts are around what if it had been one of the children. I've asked him to leave. He thinks I'm over reacting. I'm not am I ?

OP posts:
Monday55 · 08/11/2021 23:14

Do people not shag around the house anymore? Sounds boring just keeping it in the bedroom.

smoko · 08/11/2021 23:49

@Monday55 having sex in other rooms of the house is a bit naughty, exciting. Being bent over the kitchen table sounds hot. Sex in the outdoors is risqué!

Does this attitude extend to masterbating though? Having a toss in a place that’s a bit “naughty” ?

You can expect to walk in on someone wanking in say, bedroom, bathroom etc. in front of the computer in a lounge room…

But wanking in the kitchen just seems so off. He seems to lack boundaries with sex & gets off on sex acts that are a bit inappropriate & naughty.

It’s not the wanking that is the issue, it’s the thought process behind choosing the kitchen as the place to have a tug

RalphLaurenG · 08/11/2021 23:59

I cannot for the life of me fathom WHY he was masturbating in the kitchen?! If it wasn't someone's real life, I would probably laugh, it sounds so ridiculous! Some questions:

Is it an enclosed room with one door, or are there more ways to enter?

Sitting or standing?

Planning to ejaculate where? Floor?!?

Trousers just open at the zip or fully pulled down?

I just can't work it out!

Ps. Am not some sex weirdo!

hibye123 · 09/11/2021 00:03

Hi OP, I'm not understanding the responses here as I don't think you overreacted at all.
Masturbating in such an open space really isn't on especially as you have kids.

When I was younger my Auntie's boyfriend would masturbate in the kitchen and you had to walk past the kitchen to go to the toilet. He masturbated when everyone was asleep but of course I had seen him whilst going to the toilet, he saw me too but didn't stop. There was another incident where he was in the kitchen again and my cousin (my Auntie's daughter) had walked in to put her clothes in the washing machine and he continued masturbating the whole time.
We were both of primary school age.

I'm not trying to imply your DP is a creep or is hoping someone catches him, but doing that in an open space he knows there's a possibility that someone could catch him. If he's to come back, in future he does that in the bathroom like you mentioned as that door has a lock. But even walking in on someone masturbating can have a huge affect on you as a kid which I think is being downplayed by people who haven't experienced this.

I think you did the right thing and a conversation is most likely needed

Chocaholic9 · 09/11/2021 00:50

@Monday55

Do people not shag around the house anymore? Sounds boring just keeping it in the bedroom.
Not with kids around.
wobblywinelover · 09/11/2021 00:54

This is very sad to read OP, on first read I would say it's a bit of an overreaction but this really is vile on reading your updates. virtual handhold here

SunflowerTed · 13/11/2021 00:55

Massive massive overreaction

giggly · 13/11/2021 01:01

See this wouldn’t work in our house as Betty next door has a full view of our kitchenHalloween Winkotherwise can’t see what the problem
Is

StarlightLady · 13/11/2021 07:22

But the children didn’t walk in!

Total over reaction.

Men and women with healthy sex leaves masturbate.

StarlightLady · 13/11/2021 07:23

Healthy sex leaves - Healthy sex lives!

JovialNickname · 13/11/2021 12:50

I think what he did was disgusting and I can't understand people being OK with that. To me it's akin to coming down and catching him passing in the kitchen sink - yes it's his house and it's a natural bodily function, but there's a time and a place, plus acting like an animal is gross. I think chucking him out was a bit of an overreaction though - telling him it really freaked you out and to please never let you walk in like that again might have been better

JovialNickname · 13/11/2021 12:50

*pissing, obvs

Onthedunes · 13/11/2021 13:34

Well they say manners maketh the man.

Gross, within a family home with kids, it's disrespectful and distasteful.

Yes masterbating is completely normal and healthy but so is crapping but you don't do it in the conservatory. Have some standards, build him a den in the garden and let him live there, it's animalistic and base.

Christ walking past someone whilst you're making dinner and they're wanking, no thanks.
Even writing about it sounds too basic.

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