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Original poster

Husband Lying to Me About Purchases

103 replies

evie19781 · 03/10/2021 16:46

Hey all

I came to this Chatroom for advice as my husband did something that was a little strange and I don't really have an explanation for. I'm hoping you guys might be able to give me some insights or tell me that I'm just being paranoid. For context he recently started a new job that involves overnight stays, and generally I feel we have a good relationship.

About two weeks ago he went out shopping, I didn't go out with him as I was busy at home. Anyway, he came home and I asked if he had bought anything and he replied no. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Yesterday I was working on our laptop and he had left his email signed in. We have our own personal emails but aren't really precious on keeping them locked up etc.

I noticed in the Inbox that there were two receipts on the day that he had went shopping and told me that he hadn't bought anything. He had bought some unisex expensive aftershave/perfume and some clothes. The clothes were clearly for him as they were mens clothes in his sizes. I just found this really odd. When he came home from the trip, he had no bags with him and I asked him outright if he had bought anything with the answer being no. So clearly he lied to me about this.

We don't have any money issues and I wouldn't have had a problem if he had said yes I bought X and Y. Normally if he buys new clothes he would come home, try them on and show me for my opinion. Therefore I can't understand why he would feel the need to lie to me about making these purchases. He's at work at the moment so I can't ask him about it as he is not contactable.

The fact that he lied to me is making me feel a little uneasy... am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
EspressoDoubleShot · 03/10/2021 16:51

You’re not paranoid as you have evidence of a purchase eg receipts
He’s purchased items but denied it when asked…issue is why?
Is he new in job,is he trying to impress them?
Could he be having an affair dressing well for a woman?

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 03/10/2021 16:55

I'm confused. Why did he have a receipt in his inbox for items he bought in person? The only shops this has ever happened to me with is Curry's PC World and Halfords (and its so they can flog you extended warranty.)

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick and these purchases were online?

Left · 03/10/2021 16:57

I used to get email receipts from lots of clothes shops, they just ask at the till if they can email it.

sleepwhenidie · 03/10/2021 16:57

Lots of shops offer email receipts Evenmore

smallybells · 03/10/2021 16:59

Selfridges do email receipts too!

Also, you just happened to see email receipts from 2 weeks ago at the top of his inbox?

You clearly looked because you had suspicions, you've had them confirmed now. He lied about something as simple as clothes and new aftershave? Is the aftershave in your house now?

Buildingthefuture · 03/10/2021 17:04

Well, it’s weird that he’s denying it, because on the face of it, new clothes and aftershave don’t need any explanation ( if no money worries etc)
Call me cynical, but I’d be having a bit of a dig through bank statements/ test messages/ emails etc. It may well be completely innocent, but he’s raised your “spider senses” and I’d be having a bit of a check up…..

SpittinKitten · 03/10/2021 17:08

Maybe he sharted at work and had to replace trousers/shower himself with aftershave for the aftermath...

Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 17:14

No they were purchases made from a local shopping centre and the receipts were emailed through to his account. As for his Inbox, he hardly gets emails - all the Promotions go into his Promotions label so these receipts were around ten from the top.

I don't have access to his bank statements and his phone has a lock code which I don't know. Its odd as he needs to bring his clothes home so I assume eventually I would see them. When he stays at work and leaves his shift, his room is occupied by someone else so its not like he can leave clothes/personal belongings at work.

We definitely don't have money troubles, and if he had came home and said I have bought these things, there would have been no issues at all. I earn my own money, he doesn't spend frivolously so I have literally no idea why he would lie about this and he did lie, as I asked him outright 'did you buy anything nice' in a making conversation sort of way.

He's back home tomorrow so I might see if these items turn up in his stuff...

OP posts:
spotcheck · 03/10/2021 17:15

Could the cologne be the start of Christmas shopping for you?

Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 17:19

@EspressoDoubleShot he has started a new job in the last few months, but it isn't the kind of job you need to rock up smart and well dressed to.

I don't think he is having an affair as he is either with me or at work. Unless he is doing something at work... but that would be a major risk to his employment.

OP posts:
Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 17:21

@spotcheck I thought perhaps Christmas shopping. But surely you would omit the perfume and say I bought myself some new clothes?

OP posts:
Marjoriedrawers · 03/10/2021 17:25

Has he got new clothes in the house, or the perfume? If not then I'd be wondering where he left them. Could they be at work?

Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 17:26

@Marjoriedrawers

Has he got new clothes in the house, or the perfume? If not then I'd be wondering where he left them. Could they be at work?
They must be at work with him as they aren't here...
OP posts:
thesearelaughterlines · 03/10/2021 17:48

Do you have adult son ? Does he have brother who may have given him cash while he used cash ?
Father ? Uncle ?

Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 17:55

@thesearelaughterlines no on all fronts.

OP posts:
fumfspos · 03/10/2021 17:58

That is very odd.
Does he actually have a job? I'm wondering if he hasn't and he's bought clothes to go to interviews. It wouldn't be the first time someone has hid unemployment from a partner.
Where does he stay when he works overnight? Do you know for definite that this is the case or has he just said that he has to stay overnight for work?

GoodnightGrandma · 03/10/2021 18:00

He will have left what he bought in the car boot.

GoodnightGrandma · 03/10/2021 18:02

[quote evie19781]@EspressoDoubleShot he has started a new job in the last few months, but it isn't the kind of job you need to rock up smart and well dressed to.

I don't think he is having an affair as he is either with me or at work. Unless he is doing something at work... but that would be a major risk to his employment.[/quote]
You said that he does overnight stays, so is he working overnight or staying in a hotel ?

arcof · 03/10/2021 18:06

This all screams affair to me. Do you know where he stays overnight? Does he give you the hotel name etc? If it were me I'd have to go into full detective mode

Original poster
evie19781 · 03/10/2021 18:08

@fumfspos - yes he definitely has a job. He pays half the mortgage so I would realise pretty quickly if he didn't.

@GoodnightGrandma - that makes sense. But why???!?!?!? (Not expecting you to answer that Smile)

OP posts:
EspressoDoubleShot · 03/10/2021 18:27

In work does he wear a uniform?
Given it’s new job Is he trying to impress or keep up with male colleagues?
What’s your hunch @evie19781

knittingaddict · 03/10/2021 18:29

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

I'm confused. Why did he have a receipt in his inbox for items he bought in person? The only shops this has ever happened to me with is Curry's PC World and Halfords (and its so they can flog you extended warranty.)

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick and these purchases were online?

I've had email receipts from shops where I bought in person. Usually small independent shops, but I'm sure others do it too.
Howshouldibehave · 03/10/2021 18:33

I would presume he’s having an affair. What are you going to do?

EspressoDoubleShot · 03/10/2021 18:34

I recently bought from Gap, Selfridges they Send email receipts

ShoesEverywhere · 03/10/2021 18:36

Did he come back in his old clothes? I'm clutching at straws here but maybe he couldn't get to the loo in time/got something like bird poo all over him and got the new clothes but was too embarrassed to tell you?

Or a family friend is looking for a job but hiding it from his spouse/your other friends so your husband is doing them a favour by buying a new interview outfit?

Either that or he's a spy? Grin