If the man you were dating said this would you walk away?

[goggleboxing]

I’ll try to keep this as brief as poss. Have been dating a guy for a few weeks and we went out for dinner last night which was lovely until he dropped into the conversation that he had found out his ex girlfriend (they split up 2 years ago) had just got engaged to someone else and it had ‘floored him.’ He said he will always regret losing her and finding out that she’d met someone else and moved on was difficult for him to process. He even said that she will always be the one who got away.

I kind of sat there with my mouth open while he rabbited on about how he felt lucky he was dating me as if I wasn’t on the scene he probably would have taken the news much harder. He then said the break up had left him with all sorts of issues that he was trying to sort out but he was finding it hard.

I came away from that dinner feeling very flat. I mean, we’ve all been through tough break ups, but saying that on a date is a bit off, no? Or maybe I’m overreacting here?

If he were going to ditch you he wouldn’t have called you to make plans, would he?

I really wish we could tattoo some of these bastards so that other good women don't have to suffer a few dates to work him out.

Your radar is working for you and you value yourself so all good news.
I don't think it's you.. OLD is likely to have a higher percentage of narcisstic men as they are are more likely single (having screwed up relationships previously) and are now desperately seeking fresh supply.

Remember his comments to you are likely to be projection of his inner wounds.

Lucky escape there, well done. One of my friends had one single date from OLD and is still with him 3 years on. You can blame people like her for screwing up the statistics for the rest of us!

You will find a good'un eventually, the tricky part is staying sane as you sort through the dross.

@candidcat yes the staying sane part is tricky, I feel like i need to develop the hide of a rhino for OLD as it is brutal at times

Thank you to everyone who has posted with kind messages and advice

Run away 🏃🏻‍♂️

Ask him straight up, he might not realise hes being a fool.

Wow. You cleverly and deftly dodged a bullet there. He sounds absolutely awful. Manipulative, self-absorbed, lacking in self-awareness. All big fat NOs.

Is a fool who’s too dim to actually realise they’re a fool any better a prospect, Simon? Wouldn’t be for me.

You really, really, REALLY need to work on your self esteem!!

Id personally mention how off putting it is, then if the behaviour happens again call it off. I've had dates with girls like this, one in particular insisted on telling me where she had sex outside in the town. Stay classy.

Ive only just read the thread, but before reading your update I thought that if he was surprised that she finished with him despite his bad treatment he will probably be surprised and annoyed that you are also finishing with him. He doesn't sound like he has much self awareness. Instead of analysing you and deciding you're insecure (because you've got the sense to walk away from Mr Wrong??) he needs to have a good look at himself. You don't sound insecure, you sound clued up and sensible. Onwards and upwards! Good luck.

How the hell did he find out ?

Leave him he isnt that into you!

He’ll be stalking the poor woman, I’ll bet. She’s had a very lucky escape, let’s hope op follows in her footsteps.

@SwordofGryffindor he saw something that was posted by a friend of a friend on Facebook apparently. I’ve left him btw 👍🏻

Well done OP, and if it helps at all, you don’t sound like a nutter

For god's sake, he's such an idiot. Why do people behave as though you'll be interested when they say things like, "She was the one who got away"? And then to turn on you - you've had a narrow escape, I think.

And now you’re another one who got away and the poor dear is just as bloody bewildered.

Oh gosh, he's really not ready to date. And has pretty much admitted that he's using you as an emotional crutch, as he'd have taken the news worse if you weren't on the scene.
Leave him to it and move on. So sorry, OP. This must have been a kick in the teeth

He sounds horrible! He knew he was treating his x badly, if he'd ''got her back'' it would have been cos she didn't value herself highly enough.

And, he ''knew you'd be hard work?'' ha ha!

Well done for breaking it off

I do find it quite worrying though that you even had to ask the original question though OP.

You’ve dodged a big bullet OP, one made by Narc Inc.

He was VERY insensitive to lay this on you.

Forget him. Go for someone who is thinking about YOU on your dates!

Just saw your update - well done!!

I'm pretty sure the ex thing was him negging you and testing your boundaries and self-esteem, like other poster said. Same with the mood swings. Classic emotional minipulation - and see how quickly he revealed his nasty side when you caught him out!

Nasty man