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Original poster

Wants to see my body before we sleep together

90 replies

Floopyandtired · 20/02/2019 08:38

I’ve been chatting to a new man for a few weeks. He’s 5 years younger than me and neither of us is looking for anything serious. Just a fwb situation if I’m honest. We’ve met up for coffee a couple of times and get on so well. Not kissed or anything yet. Last night we were messaging over WhatsApp and I mentioned how obviously my body, particularly my stomach, wasn’t what it used to be since having DC.

We then had the following convo:
Him: I think you’d have to let me see your stomach. Just to get it out my system.
Me: Pardon?
Him: I think I’d be distracted by it. Do you know what I mean? I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Me: No, I don’t know what you mean.
Him: I’d need to look at it and move on.

I told him politely that I am not my body is not a freak show, I’m just a woman who’s had a baby, and that I don’t think it’s going to work out but all the best. He was very apologetic and said he didn’t mean to offend, he’s just had no experience of being with a women who’s had a baby.

I’m torn over whether to put it down to immaturity on his part and move on as we really get on well, or stick to my guns and no longer continue the friendship.

OP posts:
hipposarerad · 20/02/2019 08:39

Bin him

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 20/02/2019 08:40

He does sound pretty immature

Shinyletsbebadguys · 20/02/2019 08:41

Good Lord no he is not remotely worth your time

Please do not give him a seconds thought you are worth so so much more than that

Dirtybadger · 20/02/2019 08:41

Is he 18 or something? In fact even most teenagers would know not to say that (and not think that, too)

Definitely very immature. And odd. Sure you can bring the bar down lower for a FWB but not this low. Is a bloke that immature and "young" sexy?

AnyFucker · 20/02/2019 08:41

Are you dating a 13yo ?

NotTheFordType · 20/02/2019 08:42

Oh come on, he's an idiot.

Suebnm · 20/02/2019 08:42

I'm in no way in the market for a relationship but I am bitchy and would ask to see his erect cock to see if he measures up.

PurpleDaisies · 20/02/2019 08:43

How is this not an immediate dealbreaker?

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2019 08:43

How old is he? I think he was taking rhe piss. No one asks this seriously.

TrixieFranklin · 20/02/2019 08:44

What a wanker

Pinkyyy · 20/02/2019 08:44

I think it's illegal to sleep with children.

cittigirl · 20/02/2019 08:45

Suebnm ..love it Grin

woollyheart · 20/02/2019 08:45

@Pinkyyy 😂😂😂

SnailorSwift · 20/02/2019 08:45

Oh ffs just sack him off. He sounds about 15. You don't need this type of man in your life, not worth your time and energy!

TheSassyAssassin · 20/02/2019 08:46

Block the cock! Next...

PortiaCastis · 20/02/2019 08:46

Ask him if you can take a pic of his cock standing to attention so you can compare it to others who measured up
Just bin the twat he's not worth your time

SpamChaudFroid · 20/02/2019 08:46

Jesus Christ OP, perhaps he'd like to inspect your teeth as well?

hipposarerad · 20/02/2019 08:46

And don't go bemoaning your 'not what it used to be' body to prospective partners. Especially when they're apparently still in 6th form.

Lweji · 20/02/2019 08:46

Just reply that you don't want to be with such a cock. Even just to fuck.

Yippeee · 20/02/2019 08:47

Omg that’s really awful. Please don’t meet himor degrade yourself by doing what he asks.

FamilyOfAliens · 20/02/2019 08:48

Does he think he’s on Naked Attraction?

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 20/02/2019 08:49

What an asshole. If he really fancied you that would be the last think he'd be concerned about. You'll be so paranoid and self conscious if you continue with him. Bin! And straightaway so that he realises what he's done!

Scabetty · 20/02/2019 08:50

I think he was trying to get a few saucy snaps by playing the traumatised fuckwit. Took it too far Grin

Whocansay · 20/02/2019 08:51

I'd just block him. If you actually had sex, he'd probably give you an appraisal afterwards. What a dick head.

RedFeltHeart · 20/02/2019 08:51

By putting it down to immaturity and moving on do you mean excusing him? Sending him a photo so he can get it out of his system or what?

I've had 2 babies. I've always been curvy and slimmish but never had a 'tummy' until recently because I've put on a bit of weight. It's not great - my reasonably flat stomach was previously the only part of my body I felt comfortable with!

I started seeing someone a few months ago and, the first time we slept together, we fell asleep spooning and with his hand on my offending tummy. I was utterly mortified.

In the morning, he rolled over and did the same again. I froze and he whispered, "I love your tummy". He just said it felt really nice. I decided to just relax - you know, the whole 'fake it till you make it'. I didn't want him to know I was uncomfortable and I didn't want to feel uncomfortable. I want to feel confident about my body.

As far as I'm concerned, that is the only way anyone you are/are planning to be intimate with should react to your body. I could find flaws with almost every inch of my body myself, but it's not anyone else's place to do that.

So, no. Stick to your guns and end it. He has no right to ask you to prove you are acceptable to him physically/fuckable in advance. Which is what he is doing.

He's not genuinely sorry. He'll still have those thoughts even if he thinks better of voicing them in future. He just doesn't want to ruin his chances of sex. You are worth more than that.