How often do you...erm have sex with DP?

[Smoothieyummy]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

I was just browsing some old thread years ago and people said they have sex with their husband/wife/partner 3-5 times a week?!?!?! That’s A LOT! So I just wanna check is nothing is wrong with me.

I’m only 30 (young enough I guess) and DH is 28. Been together almost 10 years. I think I have strong libido, his is average I guess. But we only have sex maybe 3 times per week during the 2 weeks leading up to my ovulation (we’re not TTC, just because I’m more in the mood) and nothing after that basically 2-3 dry weeks until the cycle starts again.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with us/me? We used to have sex every day at the very beginning of our relationship (mostly initiated by me lol!). Is this boredom? Should I see a professional about this or it’s fine?

I’m sorry if this is too much info!

Women tend to get bored quicker, and libido therefore drops. Is your partner okay with the amount of sex and are you okay with it? If so, no problem. Have you read 'mating in captivity'?

It's been a while since I had a partner, but at least once a day. If you can't manage a quickie before leaving for work then you're not really trying, are you (in the absence of small children)

@NotTheFordType that's helpful I'm sure. Would you like more sex or would he? I think if you are happy with your sex life then it doesn't matter what others do. I definitely want sex more in the week around ovulation too.

@ISdads: DH is absolutely fine with it...is it worrying? I don’t think he has very high libido, he in his late 20s for gods sake! But when we’re at it he’s super into it, but he’s 70% if the time it’s me who initiate.

@Notthefordtype: I’m never into quickie...sex is about intimacy and focus on both people...in my mind quickies are purely sexual pleasure for the man and no emotion/love involved. I mean I wouldn’t object against it if DH wants to, but he doesn’t.

Women tend to get bored quicker, and libido therefore drops.

Do they?! I never did!

If you guys are both happy with the frequency of your sex life, then it's all good. It just goes a bit wrong if one of you is unhappy.

Whatever amount makes you both happy is fine. There is no set number of times.

I used to want it every day.

I’m never into quickie...sex is about intimacy and focus on both people...

I think quickies have their place too. They're pretty handy when you've got kids at home!

in my mind quickies are purely sexual pleasure for the man and no emotion/love involved.

For the man? Seriously?! I'm a bit at this tbh. Sexual pleasure is important for both sexes IMO.

Lol I don't get bored and I am a woman.

The only time I have got bored is when my partner isn't really interested in me having a good time in bed or is a dick outside the bedroom and I have lost interest in him.

I can’t come from a quickie so it would purely be for his pleasure.

It takes me time to get into it so for me, I’d rather have one long session once a week than seven times but nothing happens for me.

I don't think anyone would only want quickies.

But, for me, they definitely have their place.

It doesn't have to be just one or the other.

And also does sex doesn't only give me pleasure if I orgasm. The whole thing is great

never mind the quantity, feel the quality.

and old quote from the schmutter (fabric) trade.

4- 5 times a week apart from when I'm on my period.

I think thats fairly normal tbh. Once im in the second half of the cycle, my interest drops a bit, but in the first half I like it quite often

1 - 2 a month and I'm younger than you.

Once a week if that.

The problem,OP, is that the internet has heralded an age of ‘too much information’. You both seem perfectly happy with your perfectly normal sex life so there’s no problem. I have no idea how often anyone I know in real life has sex and I don’t worry about it.

I'm 25, dh is 31 we have been together for 8 years, one DC who is 5 I have a high libido have always been like that

Surely anything is normal and fine as long as you’re both happy with it. Your sex life is no one’s business but yours.

Once or twice a week. But I have kids. Far to shattered for anything more!

If you're both happy with it then there's nothing to worry about. With my ex husband it was 2-3 times a week but some weeks nothing at all. After all the stress of work and commuting we were shattered. We were together 14yrs and I don't remember him ever having a large sex drive, so it hadn't 'dwindled' to a couple of times per week.

With my current partner it's pretty much every time we see each other so usually a few times a week (but he likes multiple times per session). Recently we went about a month without real physical contact though and it was fine.

Yes I defo want it more after my period. Can be 3/4 times a week for 2 weeks then not so much for a week or two. It’s def hormonal and I think it’s the same for him except he usually really wants it just before my period which I put down to hormones I must give off. Don’t know whether that’s a thing lol.

Bloody hell, some of you have a lot of sex! I'm 31, married, no kids.
Our sex life varies from a couple of times a week to maybe once a month or sometimes longer!
We did much more when TTC, and personally found having sex every other day was just bloody exhausting!
We're otherwise very happy with our sex lives. Works for us.
Absolutely no right or wrong, what's healthy for a relationship is you being happy with your sex life!

Your period lasts 2-3 weeks?

You're both happy that's what matters. Lots of couples have no sex at all. It's only a problem if it's making you or him unhappy.