How often do you...erm have sex with DP?

[Smoothieyummy]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

I was just browsing some old thread years ago and people said they have sex with their husband/wife/partner 3-5 times a week?!?!?! That’s A LOT! So I just wanna check is nothing is wrong with me.

I’m only 30 (young enough I guess) and DH is 28. Been together almost 10 years. I think I have strong libido, his is average I guess. But we only have sex maybe 3 times per week during the 2 weeks leading up to my ovulation (we’re not TTC, just because I’m more in the mood) and nothing after that basically 2-3 dry weeks until the cycle starts again.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with us/me? We used to have sex every day at the very beginning of our relationship (mostly initiated by me lol!). Is this boredom? Should I see a professional about this or it’s fine?

I’m sorry if this is too much info!

you're obviously not doing it right then

Maybe! But we can't all be good at everything. We'd rather do our hobbies.

I'm 37, DP is 35, together nearly 6 years, 5 kids between us and have it more or less every night.... weekends sometimes in a morning and night.
No one writes the rules. If your both happy, who cares what everyone else is doing

DH is 39 and I am 37. Together for just under four years, no kids and we have sex or do something sexual about 3-5 times a week on average. I quite like quickies too so it isn’t always a drawn out affair

But the key thing is whether the people involved are happy and you say that you both are

You know you can do both totes ?

I'm 28, DPs 25. One 3 year old, one 2 year old and I'm 5 weeks pregnant. We have sex or at least do sexual acts usually every day. Longest we've gone without it is maybe 3 days. We both just enjoy it a lot!

I don't think it's fair to say other's "aren't doing it right" tho. Some people aren't that into it!

We probably do it so much because it's the most fun you can have for free and without leaving the house

About twice a month full sex and then 4/5 times a month we play with role plays, mutual masturbation or oral.

We mismatch when we are normally in the mood, he is in the morning and I'm more late at night but we try to compromise. I have been in relationships when it was every day, sometimes twice a day but I was younger and fitter then...Im late 30s now, no kids and I'm in the mood a lot less.

I always wonder what the average is!!

water I was being light-hearted - in the spirit of a light-hearted thread. No offence was meant

Ah ok the old "lighthearted" thing

We've been together 26 years - ups and downs of any relationship. Settled into a routine of every Saturday night when kids are away! Sometimes I had the routine but with kids around it happens this way.

For me (and my partner) that wouldn't be enough, but if you two are both happy and content with the amount then it is absolutely fine. There is no such thing as too much or too little sex, different people have different libidos, lifestyles, spare time, priorities etc. I'm sure in past relationships your sex life has been different too.

We have been together for 5 years, 1 child, only he works, we have sex pretty much every day. It isn't intentional, it just happens and we are happy with that. Neither of us is upset if sex doesn't happen one day. We almost always don't have sex on the first day of my period because I have horrible pains that take at least a day of religious ibuprofen taking to numb. We are both fine with that and he understands that I don't want to have sex if I'm in pain. If DH was ill or just too tired and didn't want sex I would be absolutely fine with that too.

It's when there is an imbalance that you need to worry. If either of you suddenly want more/less sex and you don't work at it then there will be a problem.

TTC at the moment.
So we are having more sex (everyday during fertile window. Then nothing the rest of the month).
Pre- ttc we didn't have a lot of sex. Once a month and that was plenty for me. Hand jobs for DH every few days though, I don't like that bit but feel it's a compromise.

We are 28 & been together 10years.

Been married 10 years with 4 dcs, I’d say we average once a week or thereabouts. Sometimes more and sometimes less.

Hand jobs for DH every few days though, I don't like that bit but feel it's a compromise. You don't need to perfom sexual acts you are unhappy with lucky. He should not be happy to receive sexual acts from someone who doesn't want to do it.

“Hand jobs for DH every few days though, I don't like that bit but feel it's a compromise.“

That is horrible.

As often as we want to.

As long as that is also true for you, OP. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s numbers are.

We just do it when we feel like it, sometimes that’s a few times a week sometimes it’s longer like 1-2 a month. We don’t really keep count to be honest, it’s not something we focus on in particular. Lol we’re boring 🤗

That's us as well, it completely depends on how knackered we are!

We rarely go a night without having sex, but I don't think it's unusual for people to do it much less than that. We both have high libidos, maybe me more than him.

And I orgasm every time. Dh always makes sure I do first

Every time we're together My oh is Military so often works odd hours 3 years until his retirement and living together

I was in a shit marriage.
I would have it done to me every morning and evening. I hated it.
I think there is a difference in sex here.
There is involved, loving sex, which requires effort, and which you have regularly. That is lovely.
Then there are the quickies that you have to 'try' as a PP said, usually just to provide sex to the marriage, but not really wanting to.
This was what I had to do.
When you have to do that, the chance of wanting the former is reduced. Because your partner is only focused on ejaculating into something (see the hand job comment above).
Now I am divorced it is highly unlikely I will have sex again-I have my children so there is no point. However I believe I feel like that as a result of years of forced or coerced sex day after day.
Your relationship sounds healthy and your husband sounds respectful. Don't let those who may lay back thinking of England convince you you aren't working hard enough. Most women don't have energy to be actively wanting to make love for hours each evening.

Usually just Single Penetration but occasionally go wild and Double Penetration

Are you PENETRATION MAN?

Well I’m now single so zero

That being said I have an unusual sex drive in that it’s very, very variable. Makes finding someone compatible rather difficult if not impossible.

The right amount is whatever makes you BOTH happy. If you’re mismatched on that front you may find that it is a constant problem that causes resentment forever more, or you may find that once you’re a bit older your libido could reduce a bit, especially after kids, and you might be glad he’s not up for it all the time!

But either way, you need to be comfortable with talking about your needs and being understanding of each other’s views on it.

I wasn’t super into it for many years with XH but as soon as I met my current DP - well let’s just say now I see what all the fuss is about! We see each other 3/4 nights a week and do the whole shebang every time. Also maybe a couple of extras earlier in the evening or in the morning.

If it tails off and one of us wants to do it less as we get older, I imagine we will still give the other a helping hand, because we like to make each other happy.

We’re in our 40s.

“Dh always makes sure I do first” but how can you carry on once you’ve come??? It hurts me too much, way too sensitive.