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Original poster

How often do you...erm have sex with DP?

88 replies

Smoothieyummy · 01/01/2019 11:48

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

I was just browsing some old thread years ago and people said they have sex with their husband/wife/partner 3-5 times a week?!?!?! That’s A LOT! So I just wanna check is nothing is wrong with me.

I’m only 30 (young enough I guess) and DH is 28. Been together almost 10 years. I think I have strong libido, his is average I guess. But we only have sex maybe 3 times per week during the 2 weeks leading up to my ovulation (we’re not TTC, just because I’m more in the mood) and nothing after that basically 2-3 dry weeks until the cycle starts again.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with us/me? We used to have sex every day at the very beginning of our relationship (mostly initiated by me lol!). Is this boredom? Should I see a professional about this or it’s fine?

I’m sorry if this is too much info!

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 01/01/2019 13:09

If you're both happy with the quantity then why post? 🤔

Fairylea · 01/01/2019 13:13

I actually don’t think there is a “normal” answer. Even in long term relationships / marriages things change depending on life / etc.

When dh and I were ttc we used to do it twice a day everyday...! Shock Then when ds was a baby we would go months without anything as we were both absolutely shattered. And now he’s older and things are easier we’re averaging about once a week, sometimes less often. We’re both tired from work / home stuff and sleep is more appealing! Neither of us is bothered. Weve been together ages, we are both very affectionate and committed to each other. Neither of us pressures the other.

rededucator · 01/01/2019 13:22

Bibibi you didn't answer IP question

rededucator · 01/01/2019 13:23

Oh bibibi you did. Apologies for reading backwards

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 01/01/2019 13:24

If I don’t have an orgasm having had sex, I feel unfulfilled and annoyed.

i think it’s been drummed into us that our orgasms aren’t important. Very few men would be ok with not coming during sex so not sure why i should be.

ilostitoverthiz · 01/01/2019 13:27

sometimes 3 times a week sometimes 0, I'd say once a week on average. It's ups and downs. we have 2 DC.
DH would do it as often as I asked to be honest, can't remember a time he's ever said no. if I asked twice a day he would be happy to.
So really it's about when I want to which I guess depends on my cycle.

Stephisaur · 01/01/2019 13:34

Usually every couple of days, but sometimes it’ll be over a week.

We haven’t had sex for about 5 weeks at the moment due to pregnancy and childbirth. Once I’m able to again, I don’t know how our frequency will be affected.

Notacluethisxmas · 01/01/2019 14:33

Very few men would be ok with not coming during sex so not sure why i should be.

I don't think this is true. All of my partners have been happy to enjoy sex with or without an orgasm . Fair enough if it was everytime there was no orgasm. But if I have enjoyed the sex, I have enjoyed the sex

Guiltyhusband · 01/01/2019 14:56

Been with wife 25 years - now 50 with 3 DCs. In 20's 2-3 times a week, in 30's maybe few times a month, 40's every few months reducing to 2-3 times a year and now not for one year.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/01/2019 15:01

@Notacluethisxmas
Do many of your male partners rarely orgasm during sex?

DBML · 01/01/2019 15:10

Before my husband had testosterone treatment, we had sex once a week. Now he is having the treatment, as frequently as twice a day Grin I am feeing beyond happy about this, so very happy to share lol!

Nenic · 01/01/2019 15:35

3-4 times a week but mainly quickies

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 01/01/2019 15:36

Oh come on nota of course women orgasm less frequently than men and of course it’s totally accepted by society

gamerchick · 01/01/2019 15:43

in my mind quickies are purely sexual pleasure for the man and no emotion/love involved

I must be a man then Grin

Sometimes a person can want a quick fuck, take pleasure from it without all the staring into each others eyes bollocks. One or the other is fine.

OP you sound fine, there are no rules as long as you're both happy.

LuluJakey1 · 01/01/2019 15:48

Before we had children about 5 times a week. Two small children later 2-3 times a week.

FacingUp · 01/01/2019 15:48

We just do it when we feel like it, sometimes that’s a few times a week sometimes it’s longer like 1-2 a month. We don’t really keep count to be honest, it’s not something we focus on in particular. Lol we’re boring 🤗

Guiltyhusband · 01/01/2019 15:56

DP? Usually just Single Penetration but occasionally go wild and Double Penetration.

MamaDane · 01/01/2019 16:02

We range from twice a month to about 10 times in a month.

I wish we did it more though but my DP seems content I suppose.

Notacluethisxmas · 01/01/2019 16:07

itsbetterthanabox that's not what I said, is it?

I clearly said if it was a case of either not having an orgasm, frequently, they yes it would be an issue.

But not orgagsming in occassion, especially if it's a quick is fine with me. The object of sex isnt always orgasm. Sex has always been enjoyable with my partners, especially my current partner, that I wouldn't be annoyed if (on occasion) I don't climax.

I also don't think you be ok with a man being annoyed with a woman if he didn't climax.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 01/01/2019 16:13

We have sex most days ....some times more than once. However, we both have very high sex drives and absolutely fancy the pants off each other.

Bloomburger · 01/01/2019 16:19

I'm happy with every other day. DH is getting worse as he gets older, he'd like before work and before bed too most days 🙄

Both in mid/late 40s, been together nearly 20 years.

MistressDeeCee · 01/01/2019 16:31

2-3 times weekly, I'm.in my 50s we've been together 6 years. If you're happy with your sex life then don't bother with comparing, we are all different. If not, talk to your DP about it if you're both on same page in life, happy and want to be together,then shouldn't be an issue. Although I'd keep the talk 'light' sounding

TotesEmoshTerri · 01/01/2019 16:40

A few times a year. It's overrated

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 01/01/2019 16:45

totes you're obviously not doing it right then! It's always been a vital part of my relationships.

Ironingboard · 01/01/2019 16:49

Me and my boyfriend are in our 20’s and go through phases (4 times a week then nothing for a couple of weeks) as much as we fancy the pants off each other and still snog all the time (not in public obviously) and are always touchy feely towards each other we just don’t find sex is something that we need everyday. If we haven’t done it in a while it’s always so much better as well! Every couple is different, you shouldn’t be worried.