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Penis breath on girlfriend

583 replies

SteveUK1980 · 02/12/2018 07:30

I really need some advise. This is killing me. I think my girlfriend of 8 months who says is madly in love with me blah blah blah cheated on me.

Today I went the hers after work, she’d had a crap week but had a internal meeting with a boss from another department and was offered a promotion to move to his department. All good stuff and I suggested we go eat out to celebrate the good news.

When I got to hers I knocked on the door, she opened it and greeted me with a hug and a kiss as normal. But I tasted something in her that made my heart sink. As i continued to kiss her and could smell cock on her breath. Like she’d just given or had in the past few hours given someone a blowjob.

She could see on my face something was wrong but I couldn’t say. I couldn’t just accuse her of giving a blow job to someone else then kissing me.

I let it process for a moment and tried to snap out of it. She seemed fine and not worried... we went out and she kept saying just tell me what’s wrong, I know somethings up.

I said that I had this horrible feeling when you kissed me that you wanted to end the relationship or tell me something really bad like you’d cheated on me or something. I didn’t know what else to say without exactly what I thought... she was sincere and told me she’d never hurt me, looked me in the eyes, held me tight and told me she loved me. I want to believe her but I can’t get rid of the feeling.

I know what it smells and tastes like, Shes kissed me after oral with me befor and past relationships. I’ve never come across it before without it being from oral. Say like food.

Is there any other reason she might have smelt/tasted just like she’d given someone oral? I don’t know what to do. I feel sick, I’ve googled a potential cause but can’t find anything other than a cookold website confirming and other forum posts confirming.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:00

We could have the Batshit group.

Urbanbeetler · 02/12/2018 10:01

Wouldn’t batshit be a subset of random/surreal?

ToastedSandwichObsession · 02/12/2018 10:02

Say what now? I've not even had a cup of coffee yet.

Urbanbeetler · 02/12/2018 10:02

We could have an ‘actually funny’ category where the humour comes from the opening poster as well as the mners who add to the thread.

Duchessgummybuns · 02/12/2018 10:03

You’ve made it to @mumsnetmadness on twitter already, good show! In before deletion 😌

Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:04

BlackBelt - get reading before Lily hits the hammer. She has been very kind in allowing us to try to solve Steve's problem for a little bit longer. It's clearly a serious issue and deserves considered and measured responses.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 02/12/2018 10:04

Do you know what this made me laugh but it is honestly how I found out my son's dad was cheating on me! He got home from "the gym" and I went to kiss him. I could taste/smell fanny on him (being bi myself and also having one myself you can't mistake it for anything else). Anyway he went up for his shower, I looked at his phone, sure enough messages were from the ow along the lines of "thanks for coming over just now" him: "I enjoyed it sorry he was misbehaving I must have been nervous but hopefully you enjoyed youself". Ow: "thats ok lizard lick tongue" Hmm wierd. Couldn't even get it up could he 😂 I can laugh now but I honestly thought my life was ruined at the time having had a baby just 3 weeks previously.

GreenDinosaur · 02/12/2018 10:06

Could she have eaten loads of oysters? They taste like jizz in my opinion 🤢.

Drogosnextwife · 02/12/2018 10:08

bellissimiaow

Completely agree with your dh about friend mushrooms,I love them thpugh 😂

ISawSassyKissingSantaClaus · 02/12/2018 10:08

Housework has been put on hold until we solve poor Steve's wee problem

Woah there, hold the phone! Tasting of cock is one thing, no one mentioned we were in golden shower territory now! Shock

elephantoverthehill · 02/12/2018 10:10
Confused
Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:12

Gosh, some of you have better taste buds than me.

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 02/12/2018 10:12

Maybe Zoflora could make a new Penis Breath fragrance?

Maybe the (fictional) GF could gargle with Bouquet?

Come on, Lily, don't be hard on us, we need a bit schlonger to read. It's nearly Christmas, after all Xmas Wink

Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:14

Imagine poor Steve coming home to the house cleaned top to bottom in Penis Breath fragrance.

Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:15

Eau de Fellatio. The new scent by Givenchy.

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 02/12/2018 10:16

Thanks for the heads up, Zulor Xmas Wink

Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:18

Blackbelt, if you actually RTFT you'd know that the head was down in this case.

Drogosnextwife · 02/12/2018 10:19

WaterOffaDucksCrack

That's horrible but hillarious that he couldn't get it up. Bet that made you feel better once you got over the initial heartbreak.

averylongtimeago · 02/12/2018 10:20

Oh dear, oh dear.

emwithme · 02/12/2018 10:20

Wonder if I'm too late for the deletion message

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 02/12/2018 10:21

golden shower territory

I did wonder about the possible time difference, as 'Steve' is posting at 7.30am but talking about having seen his fictional GF and gone out with her 'today'.

Could it be DonaldUS1980?! Xmas Grin

Zulor · 02/12/2018 10:23

In fairness to the girlfriend though, she looked him straight in the eye (not the eye she was looking at earlier you filthy women) and held him close and told him that she loved him. I believe her.

Steve, check her rubbish bin for a Wotsits packet. Anything that could taste like your cheesy cock. Sardines? Greek yoghurt? Cottage cheese? Check under the bed for the new boss too.

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 02/12/2018 10:25

Zulor Xmas Grin

ItWentInMyEye · 02/12/2018 10:25

🤣 Maybe she got a bit of old foreskin stuck in her teeth?

Powerbunting · 02/12/2018 10:26

How long does it take to take a thread down?

I imagine a big red button in mnhq marked delete

Or at least a moderators website with "remove from mn site" on it

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