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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you were at the Wycombe Swan tonight

103 replies

Scallywaggle · 22/11/2018 22:40

Please leave him. Find a safehouse. Please Tonight. Now.

Go where you’re safe.

Please can some regular MNers post links to help that can be provided?

OP posts:
Grace212 · 22/11/2018 22:41

24-hour National Domestic Violence
Freephone Helpline

0808 2000 247

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 22/11/2018 22:46

Bumping for traffic. I hope the person in question is ok.

Hope you are ok too op?

Thanks
maximumcarnage · 22/11/2018 22:47

I remember sitting in a Cantonese restaurant once. There was a couple in there. Probably in their 50’s. And he was super quiet. Hardly said a word. She on the other hand kept talking. Kept going on about how much he hit her. How he liked it and how much she hated him. Most uncomfortable meal I’d ever had. I just hope whatever the truth is that in the end that she ended up happy. Terrible.

Scallywaggle · 22/11/2018 22:53

Thankyou. Am still bumping if that’s ok.

I think she thinks his behaviour was normal. It was ‘normal’ for him, a way of life.

She doesn’t deserve that. Nothing she did gave him the right right say what he did.

I won’t get much sleep tonight for thinking about her, I am so hoping she will be ok in the long-run.

OP posts:
KingPrawnBalls · 22/11/2018 23:00

08088023333
Women's aid

blackteasplease · 22/11/2018 23:03

Bumping.

I've been the person who others much have thought this about in public.

maximumcarnage · 22/11/2018 23:08

To the original poster. You are not responsible for the choices and actions of another. No matter how wrong it might clearly be. Lords knows we make terrible choices in who we choose to be with. Doomed to make the same silly mistakes as before. Still I hope whoever she is she gets out and is happy. Had another poster tell me once I’m entitled to have some happiness. Not sure I believe that. But I hope.

AdoraBell · 22/11/2018 23:09

Bumping

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 22/11/2018 23:09

@Scallywaggle it's awful witnessing abuse or violence like that.

I remember someone trying to step in between my mother and father once, trying to do the right thing but actually inflaming the situation for later, and for all of us.

My father didn't like having his violence held up for public accountability because around other men he was actually a coward. Plus he had his nice guy image to maintain.

It's so difficult to know what to do. But you did what you could. I hope you get some sleep.

alltoomuchrightnow · 22/11/2018 23:23

I was that woman too
There's a refuge in Aylesbury
Don't know about Wycombe
Woman's Aid are open 24/7

MixedMaritalArts · 22/11/2018 23:24

thedashcharity.org.uk/

Just in case they reside in South Buckinghamshire or East Berkshire which are both nearby.

alltoomuchrightnow · 22/11/2018 23:24

the phone line i mean

alltoomuchrightnow · 22/11/2018 23:26

I don't mean I was the lady there tonight
Hope she seeks help
Sadly it can take a long while for realisation to dawn, as abusers brainwash and gaslight and yes you do see it as the norm until you get out. Even then it can take years to change way of thinking

looondonn · 22/11/2018 23:26

Thank you for posting this

This was me on a busy street few months ago - I often wondered why no one stopped
I wish someone called police
The louder he shouted the faster people walked by

Will be thinking of all those in this situation

Chickoletta · 22/11/2018 23:28

Bumping.

VisitorsEntrance · 22/11/2018 23:28

Nothing useful to add. Just bumping.

TeabagTelepathy · 22/11/2018 23:29
Flowers
TakeMeToKernow · 22/11/2018 23:34

I don’t usually bump, but there’s some plonker clogging up Trending with a 111 thread. So...

bump

frazzledmum101 · 22/11/2018 23:41

bump

anchovyomelette · 22/11/2018 23:55

Bumping

RandomMess · 23/11/2018 00:01

.

user764329056 · 23/11/2018 00:03

Poor woman, I hope she finds some peace and safety, I was being beaten by abusive ex in a telephone box many years ago and a passing motorist stopped, pulled him out and threw him on the ground and drove me home, I shudder at the memory and even more so that even then i didn’t leave, stayed for more punishment. I truly hope the woman you are writing about is ok OP, abuse to women makes me feel sick

DeRigueurMortis · 23/11/2018 00:11

Bump

fanomoninon · 23/11/2018 00:19

bump

everybodypuuuuulllll · 23/11/2018 00:38

Bump

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