Would you be worried: spider senses

[IsabellaMoltisantixx]

Would u be worried if your dp acted like this before going away for three nights for work?:

Much more distant with you, gone from cuddling, lovey dovey to sitting far apart on sofa on iPad or phone (not exactly doing something suspicious -can just see he's on eBay or playing games)

Starting to accuse you with going with other men. This isn't uncommon for him/the relationship but hasn't done it for awhile. Just randomly starts saying bet you've been with more than you've told me about" them basically calling you a liar

Bit more snappy with you, I.e "can't you do this right?" Kinda thing

Only mentioning he's going away on train when he usually has a works car, also usually goes away with a secondary person at work but not this time? Sounds legit enough but would it worry you?

Well they say trust your instincts.

Deflective behaviour... he is getting away with 'something' so assumes you must be too.. is what I'd think in this situation..

Aye all the signs. But even if your spidy senses are wrong - he isn't very nice to you is he?

@Gemini69

Omg you really think so? So could this work trip be him meeting up with ow??

The minute I had any snappiness or arsehole behaviour I'd be asking why.

What does he say when you ask him why he is so uptight?

I think Gamma is on to something.

PS Any one who asked me how many partners I had then called me a liar would be given short shrift 😠

Guilty people often deflect. I would personally follow my gut instinct

What are you going to achieve with this thread?

Accusing me of sleeping with other men and lying about it would be the last thing he ever did as my dp. I wouldn’t put up with that, regardless of whether he was reflecting away from his own behaviour or not.

I'd be less thinking about if there was an OW and more thinking he just sounds like a dickhead. Why are you with this man?

He couldn't be more obvious if he tried.

@AlphaBites

It was last night he just randomly started saying "you're a liar about how many men you've been with" I tried to change the subject but became even more angry and saw that as a guilty conscious so again like I usually do with him kept repeating I haven't, I've told you already etc etc
He just stormed off to bed without goodnight or anything 😢

Now he's gone away and didn't even say bye properly

@PastaOfMuppets

I love him I guess we've been on/off for years but never met anyone better and feel more comfortable with him
I hated when we were apart as he would take out dcs
My kids are my life I don't really have any family so to be away from them was pure torture I was severely depressed, had to have counselling and loads of time off from work so I just see it as at least this way I'm coping, at least I'm not that low again

I fear he is meeting ow op.

@Aprilshowersnowastorm

This is my worst thought but I did although very quickly check phone and there was nothing?
Also, I think he is definitely going to work as had email about him working in this particular location, I'm just so confused wish there was more evidence??

He may ring tonight, should I ask for his hotel details

My exh uses to be awful to me before his nights out. Never thought he cheated but he did drink excessively and stay out way later than agreed, he was on sleeping pills and wasn't supposed to drink. His logic was we weren't speaking so he could do what he wanted - guilt free apparently..
I fear your dp has the same logic.

Sorry to say I had the same treatment when ex cheated on me.

But as others have said if cheating is not the reason, he is still acting like a bell end.

From MN it seems people having affairs tend to treat their partner in one of two ways - either with contempt and resentment and behave appallingly because they've justified the affair telling themself it's their partner's fault they have to cheat or with lots of covering up sweet gestures of guilt because inside they feel ashamed and a failure.

There was a poster on here and once it camw out she realised every time her husband was going to see his OW he would be really nasty as if trying to create distance between them so he could then 'allow himself' to cheat.

Have you googled the top 10 signs of cheating?

Distancing himself from you so he feels less guilty maybe. Or else someone has been filling his head with ideas and if he is the type of person who thinks these things anyway then it just adds fuel to the fire? Some men are quite gullible like that. Just a few suggestions. Sorry that hes being a twonk.

@Aprilshowersnowastorm

Agree with this. He has cheated in the past, but right at the start we see very young and met in Uni so we weren't "serious" but was still classed as cheating . I think he had that logic cos he would use "we weren't together" when I had found out although we were together , we had just had a bloody argument!!! Dunno how that was classed as ya splitting up

would be really nasty as if trying to create distance between them so he could then 'allow himself' to cheat.

Omg yes this. He did this in past. Talking 14 years back, we met in uni and were young so I put it down to immaturity etc

He sounds like an unpleasant man. Do you really want to be with him?

On one hand I'd say trust your instincts but on the other my DH tells me I get distant and snappy before I have to go away with work and I'm certainly not screwing around. Does he go away often?

@AgathaF

Unfortunately, yes

@combatbarbie

Yes goes away roughly every month. Sometimes for training can be up to four weeks! Or sometimes a night or two so I have found it difficult but him being loving beforehand is usually reassuring n I guess that's why I'm worrying lots cos just this past week his behaviour has changed

Sometimes think I might just be mega paranoid but just those little things him sending me a good morning txt n txting at lunch to basically not sending any text at all (even made a desperate post about this last week)

Separate *

You could phone the hotel and ask if your dh from such company is available as your mobile has died. Their response will give you a clue. Sounds odd. Does he always go away for work? If he does and doesn't normally behave like this definitely snoop.

I know it's not good form to bring up other threads but, seriously, you want to be with a bloke who is obseessively trying to get you to sleep with other men while he watches,, got another woman pregnant while you were on a break and gave you an STD?! The hills are that way ---->