Would you be worried: spider senses

[IsabellaMoltisantixx]

Would u be worried if your dp acted like this before going away for three nights for work?:

Much more distant with you, gone from cuddling, lovey dovey to sitting far apart on sofa on iPad or phone (not exactly doing something suspicious -can just see he's on eBay or playing games)

Starting to accuse you with going with other men. This isn't uncommon for him/the relationship but hasn't done it for awhile. Just randomly starts saying bet you've been with more than you've told me about" them basically calling you a liar

Bit more snappy with you, I.e "can't you do this right?" Kinda thing

Only mentioning he's going away on train when he usually has a works car, also usually goes away with a secondary person at work but not this time? Sounds legit enough but would it worry you?

Hard to say. I don’t know your husband. If there’s a lot of stuff that deviates from normal behaviour then something may have changed. Is he sending you his dinner because you’ve queried his whereabouts?

The pic looks like he's sitting at a bench table outside, and his arms seem to be very long to take that pic

@HandlebarTash81

Yes he was more distant before he went and since there he's been online on WhatsApp n not really replying to my texts straight away
But if ow took the pic wouldn't that be odd too lol she'd question it I suppose?

@Guiltypleasures001

Yes I'm so confused but then that implies the "person" he was with took the picture n that would be odd too?? They would surely question why he wanted them to take a pic??? I dunno it's so mind boggling

I wish people wouldn't add fuel to the OPs anxiety. I know there is no concrete way to assure her if anything untowards but this obsessing is beyond unhealthy.
OP I am sure you don't want to hear this bit right now you are not helping yourself.
You will not have proof positive of cheating because it seems you see evidence in everything and nothing.
Get some real help.
Do you have anyone IRL you can talk to?

He has cheated before. He actually gave op an sti and got someone else pregnant and that's actually the least of his crimes. He's also continually nagging op to watch another man rape her.

I know it's not done to bring up other threads but people need to stop helping op obsess about tiny things that are nothing in the bigger picture of this tragedy.

BLOODY HELLFIRE! That is deeply disturbing. OP please listen to people and look after ykuraelf

Op please don't think I'm jumping on you. I've followed your other threads and am worried for both your safety and mental health. Xxx

Even if he is cheating you're not going to dump him are you? I wouldn't tie yourself up in knots about this because you accept all his piss poor behaviour and he knows it.

I honestly think you need to get some counselling to help you see that the way you're being treated isn't acceptable.

@glagdy oh no, I remember those threads, that's this OP?!?!

and what better way then to ask MN as everyone here has been through it or know of the signs, least it's real here

OP you have WAY more to worry about than his dinner. Why are you starting threads about his grumpiness and food pics when you won't leave him for cheating on you without protection, and for that awful business of not dropping wanting to watch you with another man?

Go get some help. Proper, professional help to understand why you're still with him.

I know people stay in disaterous relationships but this is like watching a car crash it really is.
I get the sense that OP will really only take notice of the posts that engage with her thoughts about her partner and probably not pay much attention to the rest.
glagdy how did the other thread turn out? Did she sort of wander off?

The last thing she said on the matter is that she'd gone back to him as he was getting the children for 3 days a week when they broke up and she couldn't bear to be apart.

And she was speaking with Iris and relate to try and make the marriage work.

How you could make a marriage where your husband has threatened to blindfold you, let a stranger in to rape you while your children sleep upstairs work I don't know.

I totally understand her though. He's worn her down. I would be heartbroken to be parted with my ds for three days a week too.

And his position in law enforcement sadly seems to mean he really does have the upper hand. It's fucking sick.

Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn op. I'm hoping you'll read something from me or others that will help you.

That is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.
No wonder she doesn't know what to believe or not.
That level of head messing is beyond cruel.
Nothing anyone can do for her really is there.

I've never wished as much I lived in the UK so I could reach out and possibly help this lady. She doesn't seem to have anyone in the world that cares for her.

I mean, I'm sure there is but it looks as though he's successfully alienated her.

I know what you mean glagdy, if only it were possible to physically reach into the computer screen and grab someone. Take them by the hand to the nearest place they could get help.
The mental pain she is going through takes some understanding. I can't get my head round it.
Then people rave about 50 Shades of whatever...well this is the real deal when it comes to sadism. If only all those ninnies out there knew what a proper sadist did and whats more frightening, gets away with under th cover of respectability.
God help her

This isn’t healthy

You CANNOT live like this OP.

But really, does it matter if he’s cheating? You wouldn’t leave either way. So knowing the details will achieve nothing.

You cannot stay in this relationship because you’re scared you’ll see your children less. It’s not fair on you nor is it fair on them. Kids aren’t stupid they can and will pick up on negativity and right now you’re showing them examples of relationships - this is not the right example you should be showing!!

You owe it to them aswell as yourself to be with a man who has love and respect for you.

I think you need to seek counseling or support through a woman’s support service OP. I think you are not in a healthy place. I don’t think obsessing on here is helping you in any way. Please get some support in real life.