Strippers

[Roroba]

Ok so tonight my Husband,myself and a group of our best friends enjoyed one of the best nights out I've had in ages. We went to a few bars and as usual ended up at a local lap dancing club. We often finish the night there for the simple reason it's open late plus my sister works behind the bar. Anyway I'll get to the point.until tonight, I had no reason to question my presence there., Or justify my life to anyone, I'm blessed with a good life,I'm a happy person ,my husband and I have been happily married for 12 years And I trust him with my life.
Somehow a discussion started about a woman who had recently left her husband because he had gone on a stag party to Prague and had visited a strip club when she had strictly told him he was not allowed to do!

I'm genuinely interested to hear different views about this,it upsets me to think there are women being made to feel so disgusting and worthless by their OH that a marriage is ruined needlessly.
Sorry if I'm rambling and I hope I haven't caused anyone offence .

I hate the idea of women being considered entertainment, and the idea that their bodies are for sale.

Because not all of us agree with it and yes see it as their partner cheating on them, well a form of, I would and I'd actually be worried if even both of us were going to such seedy places; each to their own and all that but no, my partner aint looking at and getting off on anyone else's body apart from mine, and I don't care if that sounds old fashioned or insecure; it's a personal choice.

Well they're lonely when they're in there as in they're on their own?! Who says they have wives and girlfriends?

Because I know a few acquaintances who have wives and girlfriends who frequency these places. One of the guys I know works at a joinery place. Every yet after there Xmas do they all end up in the local strip joint. Only one of them is single. I'd hazard a guess that anecdote isn't unique to the people I know.

If you think the only people who go in these places are either single males or heterosexual couples I think it's a bit naive. And yep, I wouldn't need to go into a strip bar to conclude that the people on them are saddos.

Every year*

Why don’t you go canvas some men and find out how many of them would be happy for their girlfriends/wives to have a young, naked man grind against her, and maybe offer her to come with him out back for for some extra private fun. I think you’ll be surprised to find that not many men would be “cool” with that. Weird huh?

Angel spot on!

Also to further answer Candles question "who said they have wives and girlfriends?". Erm literally thousands of men go to strip clubs on stag do's every year. Clue is in 'Stag'

A couple of points...

It's not just if they would be happy with their WAG having men gyrating at them. It's also about whether they would be happy with their WAG showing men their bodies for money. Because I think some men are fine with male strippers but have a sense of ownership over their WAG bodies that they don't examine (or expect to reciprocate).

Also, to the PP who thinks we've never been in places like these... I used to be much 'cooler'. I've been in many strip joints, have friends who have been variously; dominatrices, been in magazines, used sex workers, paid people to beat them. I know multiple street sex workers through work.

NONE of it was pleasant and some was downright repulsive and dangerous. One of the sex workers I know is now dead. Strip joints are the thin end of a wedge that leads to street prostitution and an increase in sexual assault. It's basically saying that it's OK to buy access to women's bodies. That women are a collection of body parts. It firms up the idea in some men's minds that women are there to serve men's needs.

I have not read other replies. I am not threatened by strippers but I would not respect and trust a man who thinks women’s bodies can be bought. Not all but many women are strippers through choice.

It's not just if they would be happy with their WAG having men gyrating at them. It's also about whether they would be happy with their WAG showing men their bodies for money. Because I think some men are fine with male strippers but have a sense of ownership over their WAG bodies that they don't examine (or expect to reciprocate)

Totally agree, and my personal objection is more to do with women being used as sexual entertainment, but I think asking men that question shows a very clear double standard in their opinions.

In fact how many straight men do you know that have gone along to watch male strippers (who aren’t even the same thing in my opinion although I still hate it), because they’re so “cool” and fine with it? How many companies use male strippers as entertainment for the staff?

I think couples who need the sleazy thrill of watching women take their clothes off for money must have fucking abysmal sex lives

Flagging libidos that need propping up, methinks

Yuk is what I feel about the whole strip club thing. I long for the time when there is no need for a woman to do that to earn a buck. Sleazy doesn't even cover it

I've always hated the thought of someone I'm in a committed relationship paying to have a women get naked, up close with him. The private dance thing really turns my stomach. Why is it so socially except able for a man to pay a women to grind her chuff all over his lap, simulating sex?! As others have said, the men that pay for a private dance, would they be ok with their partner grinding up against a guy in a club? A lot of male friends of mine go to strip clubs often. Quite often they get extras and being in a relationship doesn't stop them. It's as if it's in no way cheating if they do stuff in a strip club. The double standards really pisses me off! In answer to OP, the stripper is not a threat to me but the males lack of respect to their partner is what is wrong. If you are truly ok with him going there, whether with or without u, then fair enough. Some couples like to watch their partner have sex with someone else. Fair enough, if your both happy with it. It's when they do something that their partner isn't ok with that's wrong.

Most women marry men that match their values as well love, outlook etc.
Those like you that are happy to go to strip clubs and couples that wouldn’t dream of going and everyone in between.

I would rather have teeth removed at the dentist than watch exploited young women sell their bodies in this way. It deeply troubles me the background of trafficking, addiction and exploitstion. Not to mention the danger the women put themselves in.

The women in this industry have my sympathy. Your support is neither cool nor fun. If I am honest you sound naive and immature. Someone who hasn’t reflected on the darker side of your jollies to see these ‘girls’

deepsea you can keep your sympathy thank you, I loved my years a dancer. And I enjoyed it a damn sight more than my job now.

skaross I am happy that you enjoyed your job as a dancer. Can you say that all of your colleagues also enjoyed it? Not being goady just genuinely curious! 🙂

Its weird OP hasn't been back to the discussion despite asking for a discussion 

I don't have sympathy for you @Skarossinkplungerridesagain, it was your choice to dance so all is good. Can I ask you a question? tell me to mind my own business or don't answer if you don't want to. But honestly, what did you think of the men in these places?

Not trying to be goady, just curious. Some will have been single no doubt, others will have had girlfriends, fiancés, wives etc. Was it weird if you knew one was married for instance?

I have been to lap dancing clubs with my DH and I loved it and asked him if he would pay for a dance and he refused as he said it was not his thing. I would not care one jot if he went to a club and had a private dance, you can’t touch and that is why I think he wouldn’t waste his money!! I think if the dancers are happy in their work then I am happy there are places like this around.

skaross if you loved being a dancer, why did you stop ?

I could never find a stripper a threat to my relationship. I've no issue with him going on stag nights.

He wouldn't waste his hard earned money on getting a private dance and he's not into that kind of thing.

People never want to believe that many women choose to strip of their own free will. It's easy money for them.

They sell it. Men buy it.

I have been to lap dancing clubs with my DH and I loved it and asked him if he would pay for a dance and he refused as he said it was not his thing.

If it's not his thing why on Earth was he in there in the first place?

Benjamin. Late night drinks, simple.

Hmmm ok

Trust me after doing 6 years as a pole dancer most men aren't to be trusted. You would be horrified by some of the antics I've witnessed. It's a good job you are there to chaperone and are open minded.

I wouldn’t support anywhere that objectifies women even though I get that it’s usually these places that stay open late, but I would rather have more drinks at home. If situation was reversed - it was a male strip club - would you and other half still spend time there?