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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tell me what your lovely partner does that makes you love them

85 replies

libbyliz83 · 05/08/2017 01:15

I have only had three serious relationships, they all failed dismally and I've been single for two years. I'm quite convinced that I'll become a crazy cat lady but secretly I long to be loved. However....all I read on here is tales of controlling, abusive, belittling, cheating and non-trustworthy partners. Surely there will be some good ones out there?

Tell me a little something about your partner that will make me believe in relationships again.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 05/08/2017 01:21

Bless him, he agreed to stop clicking on the Mail Online.

libbyliz83 · 05/08/2017 01:23

Huh? Is that a joke of some kind?

OP posts:
FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 05/08/2017 01:30

My DP gives me a foot rub every time I spend an evening with him.

He calls on his way over to see if I need him to bring anything.

He buys me random (non apology!) flowers, just because.

Obviously it's not always plain sailing but he's good at apologising and we always have a laugh about it afterwards.

He makes time for me - on the days I don't see him he Skypes and messages me at least once a day.

He takes me out for lunch or dinner a couple of times a week and loves planning trips away for us.

He tells me I'm beautiful but also mixes it up by telling me I'm clever or interesting or funny.

He sends me links to songs and lets me share his Amazon music account. I have passwords and log ins to all his stuff. I trust him 100% anyway, but knowing he's so open about things is still good.

He makes me laugh a lot, he's the Tigger to my Eeyore.

Kleptronic · 05/08/2017 01:36

There was a thread the other day about this kind of thing, maybe look there for column inches heartening examples of demonstratively loving relationships?

thestamp · 05/08/2017 01:58

Phones every night that we aren't together just to hear my news from the day (v boring but he listens and asks questions and is just lovely)

Buys me loads of incredibly thoughtful pressies, useful things as well as just beautiful things that are stupidly well suited to me.

Plans travel, guides me through airports/customs when I'm anxious, anticipates things that will stress me and removes them from my path.

Buys tickets to events/shows and surprises me with them.

Takes a genuine interest in DC (not his), even though he's not very involved with them. Often will say "remember when DC did x/said x cute thing" sort of things - he keeps memories of DC for me and reminds me of stories I've told about them, my own memory is pants as I'm so busy just getting through the days with DC. It's so so lovely.

Is so clever himself but is always saying how much he has learned from me.

Cuddles me all night when we are together. Comes over to cuddle me if I've had a horrible day. Brings me ice cream. Chooses the exact right restaurants/food for me when appetite is shot due to stress.

Patiently listens and advises me about exdh, work issues, family issues. Never gets angry with me or shouts or gets stroppy. Reasonable, calm, even keeled, knows how to deal with an emergency.

Doesn't expect me to be anything but who I am. Tells me he loves me, that I make him feel happy, lucky, like he is out of his league.

Is a pervert

He's just a star

ThinkOfTheHorses · 05/08/2017 02:00

He washes and bandages my frequent cuts ( clumsy creature I am ) because I can't bear the sight of blood x I'm a wimp and he distracts me x

feelingblue123 · 05/08/2017 02:45

Always answers my messages and calls with a sunny and cheery voice.

Buys flowers when im feeling down.

Lots of cuddles, kisses and great sex on tap.

Always tells me I look stunning and beautiful.

Makes me snacks and drinks. Will go out anytime of day or night to get anything I want.

Turns on car in winter and heats up seats for me, de-ices it and puts a cup of coffee in there before I get in.

Lights a fire and wraps me in a blankie.

Takes me to parties and festivals, always tells everyone he meets how special I am.

Tells me he loves me.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2017 02:52

He rubs my back every night when we go to bed.

He texts me several times a day to ask how I am or to tell me something funny.

He always thanks me for making dinner, doing laundry, or whatever.

He always compliments me on how lovely the house looks.

He never fails to help me with housework even though he works full-time at a stressful job.

He tells me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am and he always compliments me on how intelligent he thinks I am.

He encouraged me to go back to university to complete my degree and cheered me on every step of the way until I earned my degree.

He adores my children from my first marriage and has ALWAYS referred to them as "our children", never "your children."

I can tell him anything and never fear that I will be judged or made to feel silly or small.

He's fucking amazing.

demirose87 · 05/08/2017 08:12

Rubs/ tickles my back/ feet on demand, helps out a lot round the house now I'm heavily pregnant with our son, has taken on my other three kids like his own and loves them, even though he had no experience of kids before, buys me flowers and chocolates just randomly, is amazing in bed and makes me feel sexy...Love him so much

Shoxfordian · 05/08/2017 08:15

He's the first man to want to be in a team with me

He treats me like a queen

Yogagirl123 · 05/08/2017 08:22

DH does all the cooking for our family. Always brings me a cup of tea up to the bedroom in the mornings. Puts out the bins, helps me when I need help (I have a disability). He has always encouraged me to do things such as learning to drive, getting better jobs (before I was ill), always compliments me on my clothes, hair etc. He is a fantastic loving husband and father.

ShotsFired · 05/08/2017 08:24

Rubs my feet even though he hates feet.
Leaves me a teacup set up with everything ready to go and water in the kettle if I am WFH.
When he is asleep, he reaches out for me without realising.

offside · 05/08/2017 08:43

He dotes on our little girl and the first question anyone asks me when I first meet them is, "how's DD" because she and us are his world.

He works incredibly hard both in his career and at home.

He does probably more than 50% of the house work, lions share of cooking and never moans about it.

When our DD wakes up in the night he will go in her room and sleep on the floor next to her bed as that's the only she will settle and he never complains about it.

He always plans exciting family days out for us.

We always come first.

I trust him implicitly and him me.

He loves me for me and accepts my annoying ways.

He is generous and kind to a fault. He is loyal and caring. He is sympathetic and empathetic, hates to witness suffering and always tries to help unless it's DIY related, leave that to the experts

He always has time for my nieces and takes an interest in their lives, particularly the older one who is a typical 9 year old teen.

He scratches/tickles my back, legs, feet whilst waiting on me hand and foot.

He is more than comsiderate in bed.

He spoons me in bed and wraps his arms around me while he's sleeping.

He always tells me he loves me.

Wow, the list can go on, but he truly is one in a million.

WaitrosePigeon · 05/08/2017 08:45

When it was raining last week he put my raincoat out ready for me. How sweet is that.

Tumilnaughts · 05/08/2017 08:56

he's the Tigger to my Eeyore.

This perfectly sums up me DH as well. He's so jolly and happy.

Sends me texts every morning to tell me he loves me

Rubs my feet often and unprompted

Plans all our holidays including picking out nice restaurants we should try

Gets little treats for me when I've had a rough day. Wine

Takes our dd out so I can have some time to myself to recharge

I like this thread. Grin

livelyredjellybean · 05/08/2017 09:12

He starts tickle fights.

He knows when something is worrying me and won't let me bottle it up. With his help I have stopped taking antidepressants.

Tells me every day how much he loves me out of the blue.

Emboo19 · 05/08/2017 09:52

Well I don't love him for what he does for me, I love him for who he is (the annoying obsessive over music and football stuff as well as the good).

But if you mean how he shows me he loves me......
The biggest would be, him working on his/our issues. Although it took a bit of a shuff from me, his commitment to it as shown me how serious he is about us as a family.
The smaller stuff.......
He listens to me, really truly. He wants to know what I'm thinking, my opinions on things.
He does his share, of chores/childcare.
He brings me chocolate/little treats, cups of tea in bed, silly little things that are difficult to explain. He knows me, so knows what I'd appreciate.
He'll de-ice my car in winter, check my tyres and pump them up if needed and fills my water squirters because I hate doing can't do it.
He makes me feel wanted and desired, but for more than my looks for me as a whole person.

mydogisthebest · 05/08/2017 10:35

After almost 40 years together he;

Makes me a cup of tea every morning and brings it up to me
Tells me he loves me every day
Texts or rings me at least once every day
Always praises my meals and thanks me
Often cooks so I can have a rest (I don't work but do have health issues)
Buys me flowers (not that often but always if he thinks I am down)
Never forgets my birthday or our wedding anniversary
Put spiders outside for me as I am terrified of them
Helps my elderly parents with things like DIY, housework, shopping etc

harri6735 · 05/08/2017 10:53

I love this post! All over MN posts are so bloody negative!! My OH has been my absolute rock throughout quite a difficult pregnancy and has made everything so much easier. He is so thoughtful and caring and always gives me little kisses out of nowhere or takes my hand and kisses my hand if we're walking around or out. He knows when I'm down or unwell and he'll run me or a bath or give me a little foot or back rub or play with my hair and he ALWAYS lets me decide what we're having for takeaway 😂 that's a big one haha!

libbyliz83 · 05/08/2017 18:40

I'm loving all the little things you're describing like putting out your raincoat, de-icing your car for you or starting tickle fights. That's the stuff I think shows the love is there, stuff just for you Smile

OP posts:
libbyliz83 · 05/08/2017 18:55

A lot of you get foot rubs, I can't stand feet so if any future partner tried I'm afraid I'd have to kick him in the face!!

OP posts:
user1494187262 · 05/08/2017 20:59

Bring me tea in bed every morning
Makes me coffee before he leaves for work
Cooks all meals at weekends and makes me my favourite breakfast.
Flowers
Rubs my feet every evening
Puts toothpaste on my toothbrush
Tells me he loves me
Compliments me

SafeToCross · 05/08/2017 21:16

Brings coffee toast and newspapers up to bed most Saturday mornings. Does all the reliable stuff like mowing the lawns, cutting the hedges, putting the bins out. Does all the washing and ironing, a chore I despise. Plans holidays. Plans for the future.

Sn0tnose · 05/08/2017 21:28

He is, quite simply, the best person I have ever met.

He puts me before him every single time. He cooks every single day because he knows I hate doing it. He loves my family and friends. He makes me feel like he's excited to spend time with me, but also encourages me to go out and have fun without him. He makes me feel beautiful and clever and funny. He works just as hard as I do, but doesn't have a problem with me earning more than him. He's proud of me. He's kind to people, even when no one else is watching. He would do anything for his friends and family and it's clear just how important he is to them. At family occasions, he's the one everyone gravitates to because he's so much fun (but in a modest way, not a brash, show off way). He understands my depression and anxiety and understands when I'm ill or I need to hide behind him. I have fun with him no matter whether we're out, or lazing about on the sofa watching rubbish. He is my best friend and I would be utterly lost without him.

libbyliz83 · 05/08/2017 21:40

You sound like a very lucky lady Sn0tnose

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