Tell me what your lovely partner does that makes you love them

[libbyliz83]

I have only had three serious relationships, they all failed dismally and I've been single for two years. I'm quite convinced that I'll become a crazy cat lady but secretly I long to be loved. However....all I read on here is tales of controlling, abusive, belittling, cheating and non-trustworthy partners. Surely there will be some good ones out there?

Tell me a little something about your partner that will make me believe in relationships again.

I didn't know guys like this existed. Maybe when I'm ready, I'll find one.

Problem is, gems like these have already been snapped up!

I just want to be happy doing my own thing. Got my children and work to keep me more than occupied and likely I can start having a social life again at weekends now we've split. Sorry - thread derail.

I'm sorry you've been through a bit of a bad patch lately. It will get better for you, you seem like a nice person

He's had a really rough time in life but when I'm feeling crap, even over something silly, he's still 100% there for me. He's also brought and is bringing me through the darkest times in my life, and ours together. When we argue we always take on board why and work on it together. He makes me laugh and feel loved. Despite his tough time in life, he has such a great energy and innocence about him. He's a guy that would fiercely protect me in one heart beat and be gooey and be jumping around like an excited kid the next. He has such a huge heart and can't help but help out any of his friends and family. They don't all always treat him the best, but he still cares without question. He'd do almost anything for anyone without asking anything in return. He loves my two cats as if they were his own kids, and they love him just as much and I think they love him more than me. He also loves to cook for me, the excitement when he presents his latest concoction is just infectious. He makes everyone around him happy and especially me.

I had never expected us to end up together, but it feels like it was meant to happen. I've never found anyone who understands me like he does and makes me feel like I can just be my weirdo self all the time. Most importantly, above all, he loves our unborn son unconditionally even though we may not get to bring him home. The strength he's shown in this pregnancy has got me through each day and I truly love him for it.

My dp bought me a foot file as he had had enough of my sharpe heels in bed!
He also makes me a cuppa just as I like it without me having to ask,
At the weekend he bought me a coffee because 'I was getting a bit loud after drinking 2 glasses of wine and 2 fruit cidars!'

libby they do get snapped up, but they also get put back in the pond because their partner cheats (or they do), they have grown apart, they were just a bad match who ended up having DCs together and trying to make it work etc. Not every man who is single in his 30s/40s is a twat.

When my DP left for work this morning he brought me a cup of tea in bed to wake me up, because I needed to be up in half an hour. He told me yesterday that he adores me and that I am incredibly beautiful (I'm not, but I'm glad he thinks I am!) He gave me my nightly footrub and told me how lucky he is. Then he spent a loooong time in bed making sure I was happy before he was

This is a man whose ex cheated on him, who got together with her too young and stupid but was trying to make it work for the DCs. Whose ex used to call him a fat cunt, but I think he's gorgeous whatever he weighs.

This is a man who never really cared about making anyone else happy in bed, who WAS selfish in a lot of ways. He is someone who has his faults like anyone, but I love him so much I see past them when someone else couldn't.

And he has learned lessons about give and take since his previous relationship. He has learned the pleasure that you can get from making others happy and he realises that life is happier when you give as well as take. We are able to communicate well with each other and that helps - some people just aren't up for talking.

In my previous marriage I didn't want sex, I was miserable, our goals for family time/free time were mismatched. That didn't mean I was a shit wife - I just wasn't right for him. Similarly someone else who isn't trying to raise children with my ex might find his refreshingly unburdened

And yes my ex tried the 'unrealistic expectations' crap too - "nobody else would be how I wanted him to be, men just aren't like that" etc. Who would want a fat 40 year old divorcee? My DP as it happens, who loves spending time with me and my DCs, who is everything I was looking for in a man.

Together we are a great match, our previous partners obviously didn't think so! So don't give up hope that they've all gone.

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

He does loads of stuff around the house, stuff which I'm too lazy to do.

He tries very hard to be patient when I'm depressed.

He knows I love receiving wrapped presents, so he buys me little things I like even when it's not a special occasion. With my birthday and Christmas presents, he indulges my favourite silly ritual: I'm allowed to be there while he wraps them! I have to pay the small price of being blindfolded and unable to see a thing, but I love hearing the action, and feeling the gifts if he lets me.

Thank you FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty, what a lovely post.

Loving reading about all these great partners. Hope it is inspiring and not depressing for those still searching for theirs.

Don't want to sound smug, but I have another one today

I got back from a weekend away to find that my DP had left work early, let himself into my house, tidied the kitchen and done the washing up, because he knew my teenage son would have left it in a mess.

Now my DP is not renowned for his housework skills. It would never have occurred to him to do that for anyone else (including in his own kitchen most of the time!!) but because he knew it would make me happy, he did it. I have been exasperated at his ability to walk straight past mess and it used to drive mad.

As a result of doing the Languages of Love quiz, he now knows that 'acts of service' are how I like to receive love, so by doing those jobs he makes me feel loved. In return I will put my hands up his t-shirt at every available opportunity because his preferred language of love is physical touch.

It's made a real difference to how we interact, and well worth finding out which your preferred love language is - it can be related to all relationships - DCs, parents, work colleagues (perhaps not the physical one so much? ).

I firmly believe that without it I would be much more frustrated, but now I can articulate what I need and why. This means that we are both able to do those little things for each other to show love in the way it is most appreciated.