Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

what to do.

102 replies

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 19:07

About 7 months ago my family hired a guy to do some jobs for them.
cutting a long story short, me and this guy have made a real connection. its like we are from the same mould.BUT !!!!! he is in a very difficult relationship, he's no kids to this woman, nor his he married.
over the few months I've known him he has confided in me, told me a lot about how difficult his relationship is. he is putting wheels in motion to leave. the issue is, or it may not be an issue, I've grown really fond of him.And I find myself thinking about what will happen once he leaves, because there is massive chemistry between us, which we have managed to not acted upon.

OP posts:

category12 · 17/05/2017 19:29

Uh-huh.

Or in another version of this story, he's living with someone perfectly comfortably and it suits him greatly to rubbish her to another woman and gradually work his way into her pants, pleading how difficult it is to leave a relationship.

Original poster

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 19:36

I really don't feeling that, because there has been many times where I have been alone and we could have taken it to that level. but we haven't. I have been cheated on myself, so I wouldn't want to do that to another woman. but has I've got to know him, I cant stop my attractions.

OP posts:

FelixtheMouse · 17/05/2017 19:36

"My wife [partner] doesn't understand me!"

LanaDReye · 17/05/2017 19:38

If he wants to leave his partner give him space to do that. He knows where you are to talk later.

At the moment it sounds like you're being lined up as his entertainment.

ChicRock · 17/05/2017 19:40

No kids, not married, what wheels need to be put in motion other than sorting accommodation, packing a bag and leaving?

He could be out of there in a week in he wanted to. He doesn't.

crazyhead · 17/05/2017 19:47

Tell him you don't want to talk to him or see him again until he comes back to you, six months after he's left this relationship in a decent way, and asks you for a date.

If that happens, maybe he is Mr Right. If not, forget it.

Original poster

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 19:52

It is money that has delayed him walking, which I can understand.

OP posts:

category12 · 17/05/2017 19:57

Yes, you're ever so understanding.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 17/05/2017 19:58

Wow, he's having an emotional affair, leading on another woman, saying he's going to leave but he can't because of money. What a catch.

What's the money situation? Does he owe her a lot of money? Do they own property together? Did her parents loan him money or something? Does she pay his bills for him? Does she know he has decided to leave her and they need to sort out the financials?

Original poster

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 20:16

He is needing money to start up again. as he just wants to walk away.

OP posts:

Allabitmuchisntit · 17/05/2017 20:23

Take yer blinkers off love.

Original poster

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 20:27

I am well aware that there is two sides to every story.

OP posts:

HildaOg · 17/05/2017 20:31

If he wanted to leave her there's no marriage or kids to keep him there. It has been seven months. If a man wants to go, he'll be gone ASAP.

He's found a fool who'll believe him, he's playing you, lying to you, laughing at your gullibility and if you ever got together he'd be saying about you exactly what he says about her to the next silly woman.

Tiredbutnotyetretired · 17/05/2017 20:35

Player

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 17/05/2017 20:35

He needs money to start up again? He wants to walk away leaving all his assets and savings behind? That makes no sense. What does it even mean?

unicornpoopoop · 17/05/2017 20:36

I hate women like you.

If all women actually stopped chasing taken men, it would be a lot harder for men to cheat!

Yes they could still lie, but it would make it a lot more difficult and they would be more inclined to put their poor wives out of their misery and actually leave before pursing someone else.

AnyFucker · 17/05/2017 20:37

Deary me

Tiredbutnotyetretired · 17/05/2017 20:39

Unicorn, its the stories these men spin, i dont think she has actively chased him down, there is attraction there, she hasnt acted on it. Its him thats the problem imo, dont fall for it though op.

Whiskwarrior · 17/05/2017 20:40

What to do, OP?

Back right off. He's spinning you a line. Don't fall for it. It could be you he's doing it to in the future.

GoodDayToYou · 17/05/2017 20:47

(Sighs and shakes head)

Don't do it.

GoodDayToYou · 17/05/2017 20:48

(Sighs and shakes head)

Don't do it.

LightYears · 17/05/2017 20:51

Oh Op, sounds like the same old lines. Like PP have said, if he really wanted to leave her he would. They're really good liars.

Alexandra87 · 17/05/2017 20:51

He knows where you are. Leave him be to sort out the relationship he is already in. If that relationship breaks down and you are still single he will know where to find you. I

Original poster

user1492256457 · 17/05/2017 20:54

WOW. !!!!!! calm yourself unicornpooppoop, I haven't chased him at all.
we stuck up a friendship, I like to think I have been a good friend too him. like I have said in above posts there has been many times where we have been alone, we could have very easily took things to another level, but we haven't. I think too much about myself too do that. if I'm to take his word on everything he tells me, his gfr sounds bipolar. and its so easy to say, I'm going to END it. but saying it and doing it is two diff things. my understanding is, he needed money in place, and some where to go.

OP posts:

Whiskwarrior · 17/05/2017 20:59

'His gf sounds bipolar'.

They always do. There's always an issue with the partner. But also a reason why they can't leave.

He is grooming you to be his OW. Don't do it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5