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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What would you do if your husband said this..

88 replies

dyinginside · 20/03/2017 06:50

Son asking for a lift , husband moaning about it, son says " I'll be giving lifts to you when you're too old to drive"
I say to husband " don't be ridiculous it'll only take you ten minutes"
Husband then says to me when son out of the room " the only place he'll be driving me is to your grave so I can piss all over it" and then made a peeing motion
This was a few days ago, I think it's the final nail in the coffin for me

OP posts:
Theworldisfullofidiots · 20/03/2017 06:51

Terrible thing to say. Final nail you say?

fabulousfun · 20/03/2017 06:52

How horrible.....this would definitely be a nail in the coffin moment. Do you have a plan? 💐

Thebookswereherfriends · 20/03/2017 06:53

Wow! Not something I would expect from someone supposed to love me.

Chocolatecake12 · 20/03/2017 06:54

That's a really horrible thing to say.
Did you reply?
What is your plan moving forward?

Wellysocksbox · 20/03/2017 07:01

Sometimes, in a relationship, you put up with a load of shit and then they do one thing which crosses the line and there's no turning back. This could be that one thing. Definitely LTB. It's better to be single than to live with someone who has so little respect for anyone else Flowers

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 20/03/2017 07:01

I would be making plans to divorce. . Sounds like the last straw for you op..

Flowers

HecateAntaia · 20/03/2017 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 20/03/2017 07:04

I'd think that any respect or care for me had long left the building. I'd think there was no point in remaining married.

PlumsGalore · 20/03/2017 07:06

What a vile thing to say. I would have first retorted that he would likely be dead before me then I would have made arrangements to part company. If he considers thus an ok thing to say because you asked him to give his son a lift then he deserves to be on his own.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 20/03/2017 07:07

Wow OP. There are no words to describe the awfulness of that comment. Please get out of there! I can't imagine spending my life with someone who felt like that about me!!

Goforit2017 · 20/03/2017 07:08

That is disgusting and I don't think there is any way back from it.

Original poster
dyinginside · 20/03/2017 07:11

He's not generally abusive, marriage has been dying a slow death for some time and we do sometimes snipe at each other
I can often be worse than him, I'm no shrinking violet, but this seemed different, I don't know why, I was shocked and very little shocks me

OP posts:
supercue · 20/03/2017 07:11

What a lovely turn of phrase he has. Time to call it a day I think.

kinter · 20/03/2017 07:11

I'm sorry you had to experience this, OP. It does look like a last straw moment.

Except...
Could you have given your son the lift? Just wondering why he asked his moaner dad and not you.
How old is the son? Is he old enough to be really getting himself around on buses, bicycle or foot?
Did he get the lift in the end?

Joysmum · 20/03/2017 07:12

Absolutely disgraceful reaction to you calling him ridiculous.

It reads like you did in front of you son and if so was undermining. If so I'd be angry too if my DH undermined me in front of our DD but doesn't excuse his strong reaction.

NormaSmuff · 20/03/2017 07:13

Do you not drive op?

sounds just like an argument tbh
ok not very nice and as you say marriage is dying a slow death.

Goforit2017 · 20/03/2017 07:14

I dont think the context matters.

That's not something most people would ever say or even think.

Iris65 · 20/03/2017 07:17

Horrible.

CaoNiMartacus · 20/03/2017 07:18

Absolutely disgusting. Get rid.

JustSpeakSense · 20/03/2017 07:19

What a horrible thing to hear from someone supposed to love and cherish you Flowers

cordeliavorkosigan · 20/03/2017 07:20

I think it shows contempt for you, and goes well beyond normal sniping. Contempt is apparently a major sign that things are really not good. Sorry op, that really sucks.

Crumbs1 · 20/03/2017 07:21

Actually sounds like you were undermining him. Not a pleasant thing to say but sufficient to divorce over? Really? Maybe he feels like a taxi driver to the boy and felt he should walk. Either way parents should be supportive of each other over children.

TattyCat · 20/03/2017 07:23

Life really is too short to spend it with someone who has so little respect for you and actually dislikes you. I think it's so sad that people who once probably loved each other get to the point that a comment like that is even thought of, let alone spoken.

Better to be alone than be hated it your own home - it should be your sanctuary. I'd leave.

Original poster
dyinginside · 20/03/2017 07:23

I don't drive, had loads of lessons but I'm rubbish at it, too nervous
Been married twenty odd years , this has killed any last vestige of feelings I had towards him , albeit of just friendship
My own behaviour is bad too, just in the interests of fairness, we rub along ok most of the time but I can't get over this
If he came home and told me he was having an affair I would be delighted and want to shake her hand

OP posts:
TattyCat · 20/03/2017 07:25

*in

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