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Relationships

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Original poster

Cuddling while sleeping

110 replies

jouu · 28/02/2017 17:02

We were discussing this last night. BF is very big on cuddling up all night, every night, forgoing blankets in favour of body heat where necessary.

Luckily I love it, but he's dated women who hate it and won't be touched while sleeping/trying to sleep, and others who revel in it (I'm one of the latter). He has actually split up with a woman that he liked a lot because she couldn't bear to be cuddled at night and it depressed him too much. He has been like this since childhood when his dad used to snuggle him and his brother until they fell asleep at night.

Do you like to cuddle up with your OH at night? Do you prefer to fall asleep not touching and cuddle up later when it's cooler? Etc? How does OH feel about it?

I take medication that makes me slightly sleepy which probably means I have a higher tolerance for snuggling up. I don't live with my BF so I think I get a good recharge of oxytocin from the nights we do spend together. When I'm premenstrual in particular I find it really comforting/therapeutic and I'll be in a much better mood the next day.

OP posts:

fruityb · 28/02/2017 17:04

I like to cuddle to begin with but then one of us will roll away and we tend to spoon. He's absolutely boiling at night so I can stay near him too long! But I do love cuddling until I get too warm

FlyingElbows · 28/02/2017 17:08

Nope he's far too warm. I can't abide being touched most of the time. I also can't stand being breathed on so not only do I not want to be cuddled but I have a pillow between us so the giant hairy hot water bottle can't breathe on me either! Poor bugger.

Jazzywazzydodah · 28/02/2017 17:11

I think the fact he has split up with women he has really liked because they disliked being touched/held while asleep would send me running to hills!

WaegukSaram · 28/02/2017 17:15

I think the fact he has split up with women he has really liked because they disliked being touched/held while asleep would send me running to hills!

Me too - his needs to cuddle trump their need to not be touched? That doesn't sound good.

I don't like being cuddled at night. Thankfully DH has chosen to remain with me despite this character flaw.

minipie · 28/02/2017 17:17

Cuddle till warm and sleepy, then move so we are touching lightly but def not snuggled, neither of us could sleep well snuggled.

SerialCerealKiller · 28/02/2017 17:18

I hate being touched while I'm asleep, completely wakes me up and is irritating.
Dh would cuddle all night if I didn't mind, but luckily he hasn't left me over it so far 🙄

minipie · 28/02/2017 17:19

What would happen if you were ill or sore or pregnant and didn't want cuddling OP? Would he be ok with that??

Original poster

jouu · 28/02/2017 17:20

Thankfully DH has chosen to remain with me despite this character flaw.

Steady on, he is still friends with the woman and thinks she is great. He just realized it would be depressing for him to be with someone long term when they didn't want to do something that, to him, is a basic need

OP posts:

AllTheLight · 28/02/2017 17:20

I would not want to be cuddled while falling asleep. I'm fine with a bit of light contact (eg hand touching leg or similar) but I need to be able to turn over without worrying that I'll wake someone.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 28/02/2017 17:22

My DH is like a fire so I have to move away from him in the night I also can't get comfy enough to sleep with someone's arms in my way. We cuddle in bed for a while then say night and stick to our own sides of the bed

6cats3gingerkittens · 28/02/2017 17:22

Separate rooms is the answer to being smothered at night. Buy him a giant teddy to drape himself round.

Adora10 · 28/02/2017 17:23

I think he's got an unusual need for human contact, I mean all night, just no, not unless we were in a bed with a temperature of minus ten.

A cuddle and spoon are fine but I would find him claustrophobic and as for ending a relationship over it, I think he has issues.

likewhatevs · 28/02/2017 17:25

I don't like it at all. Its uncomfortable and claustrophopbic. DH knows this so we have a cuddle and I move away after a while so I can lie on my back. I would not stand for someone cuddling me all night.

EssentialHummus · 28/02/2017 17:26

I need to cuddle DH while I'm falling asleep, but at some point he'll roll over and fall asleep not touching me. We'll get a morning cuddle in too after the alarm goes off. One of the best parts of the day!

Orangebird69 · 28/02/2017 17:26

I like a spoon whilst falling asleep but tend to move away - dh is one big giant radiator and also, his arms get really heavy when he's asleep and they feel like dead weights on me.

aquamarina100 · 28/02/2017 17:28

I agree with Adora10.

laurzj82 · 28/02/2017 17:30

Me too sorry OP

Rozdeek · 28/02/2017 17:31

What a bizarre reason to split up with someone

Lovemusic33 · 28/02/2017 17:33

I love being cuddled, my new partner isn't that cuddly but will spoon. It makes me feel very special to be cuddled when sleeping, I spent years with ex husband sleeping with our backs to each other .

user1479305498 · 28/02/2017 17:37

I hate it, I like space!! and as Im menopausal its way too hot! Sadly husband loves it.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2017 17:38

He's got some issues. I like a cuddle, but not all night, every night and in lieu of blankets.

WannaBe · 28/02/2017 17:46

Nope. I like to cuddle before falling asleep and to fall asleep touching but I love my duvet far too much to ever give it up. .

I love physical contact but to end a relationship because someone doesn't want to cuddle all night is very messed up.

When I came out of hospital last year I couldn't bear to be touched, at all. I think it was from being poked and prodded and injected and god knows what else for two weeks that meant when I suddenly had my own space back I really, really wanted that space and couldn't bear to have anyone physically near me even dp, and I would roll right across the bed to be in my own space. In the beginning he found it confusing because I'm usually very affectionate - until I explained, and then he got it.

ImperialBlether · 28/02/2017 17:49

It's not messed up at all - in fact he understands himself and others very well and can tell when they're not compatible. Far better to split up early on than to struggle to live with the other person.

Orlandointhewilderness · 28/02/2017 17:49

Couldn't handle that! We cuddle until sleepy then we both roll over to our own sides and rarely touch in the night. Very antisocial we are!

SeeMyVest · 28/02/2017 17:51

I like to spoon/cuddle until I'm sleepy then I like sleeping right up at the edge of the bed with my back to him. I need space and he is very very hot. Also, I can't stand breathing when my breath hits something in front of me then comes back in my face. Arghhh! I have to breathe over the edge of the bed. Ha.

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