Joint bank account...what if???

[Upandaway0987]

Your OH took 2000 pounds out of your joint bank and didn't discuss it with you would you do? Would you expect him or her to discuss it with you first?

Depends what he/she used it for? A surprise holiday - fine. A night at the casino - not fine.

Yes. That kind of money doesn't go anywhere without discussion and decision. Why do you ask?

I would definitely expect him to discuss it with me first. Although we do have individual accounts as well as our joint. The joint is used for bills and rent and then any big joint purchases we discuss first and each add more to the joint if necessary. Anything else we pay for out of our separate accounts so I'd be pretty pissed off if he took out 2000 from our joint without discussing it first. I guess it depends on your setup though?

Yes, of course I'd expect a discussion for that sum of money.

Is it more likely to be for an engagement ring, or something not so good?

It depends what £2000 means to you. For us that is loads of money and I would expect it to be discussed.

H had done it, not discussed it - just gone ahead and done it and still not said anything now. I found out via the bank. Wondering what other peoples views were

What was it used for? In our house he would likely say it to me but we shift money around our accounts all the time, it might not even noticed.

You need to ask him what it was for and then go from there

Have you asked him what he's done with it?

Depends what he's done with it. Shifted to another account because he realised it had higher interest? Fine. Surprise holiday? Fine but I might be a bit twitchy. 4000 packets of scampi fries? Not ok.

We have our own accounts, joint is for all bills, house etc. H has moved the money to his own account. I always talk to him about what we do with our joint money, any big purchase etc

I'd be okay with 4000 packets of scampi fries. I'd eat every packet in silent protest.

Seriously though, why not just ask him? If your relationship is in fine nick why not ask him instead of a forum of strangers?

If the joint account is for joint money it's not okay to take £2k without so much as a passing comment on why.

Can't ask him, he's away. I'm so cross and upset

If he's moved it all to his account then I'd say he was preparing to leave you.

You have to talk about this.

Is there any reason you feel you can't?

Sadly I agree with pottering. Where is he? Who with?

Is he not contactable at all? Not even via text or email? If just send a message saying what was that £2k for?

Yes i'd be worried about this. We generally discuss anything over an "everyday" purchase.

How much is left? £2k is worth about two months of my bills and would be the most I'd keep in there.

How far away is he? Can't you just ask?

Could there be a rational explanation? Do you have credit cards or loans that he took the money out to pay off and he forgot to tell you?

Unless he is a submariner or peace keeping in Aleppo or summat of course you can ask him.

Yes, key first thing is whether or not there is enough money in the account to cover the monthly bills. If no, WTF is he doing.

If yes, why has the money been moved to his account where you don't have access to it? And what was the money earmarked for? My budget doesn't have 'unallocated savings', it has categories for things like emergency fund, household repairs, car repairs - so stuff that could be spent but might also not be. If the money merely moves account it hasn't been removed from its fund but both partners have to understand the budget to appreciate this isn't just free-floating money, it has a purpose.

If he's away is it possible that he doesn't know about this and has had a card cloned? Could you have been robbed? You need to speak to him ASAP!

Don't think it can have been a cloning as the OP can see the DH has moved it to his own account. On the other hand, pretending not to have noticed this and contacting him to say you've reported it as a fraudulent transaction might help to clarify the matter!